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I Have Prostate Cancer


TimmyStan1967
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I have suffered serious depression my entire adult life.  The small cock is a huge part of it.  I have recently been diagnosed with prostate cancer.  Before treatment begins I will be ending it all.  Why?  Because having the prostate removal surgery will expose my small cock to so many in the health care world I would rather die that face the embarrassing humiliation.  I work in health care and I know how it works.  In the mean time aside from the humiliation I would face from treatment, why would I want to fight a fucking cancer battle that even if I won, the best case is to return to the chronically depressed person that I am?  No thanks.  I am so ready to be free from this life.  I have been ready long before this diagnosis.  Now to find the perfect way to do it. 

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I think the lesson to my story is this: Depression itself can be a terminal illness and my battle with depression is reaching the end.  I am ready to be free.  I truly am.  The thought of going through cancer treatment when just living a normal life takes so much energy?  It ain't happening.  No way.  I wished more people in the world would understand that that suicide is the only solution.

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I don't know how to reply to that, but I do hope you get treatment. I hate to hear that a small cock would play into not getting better, but I had a similar experience myself in hospital with a nurse seeing my junk and it was embarrassing, but my health took precedent. Maybe this is a good time to speak to a therapist? Just a thought. ☮

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I don't know what I'd do in your shoes timmystan. Society will never discuss quality of life - all that matters is that your heart still beats and your lungs can draw in air. The Terry Schiavo case is typical...what I call the dictatorship of public opinion. What amazes me is the number of people who are against the right to die. Society is vile. It takes no greater delight than making human beings as miserable as possible. I wish you the best whatever you decide, but I certainly wouldn't blame you for refusing treatment. 

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Pax....Thank you for your wonderful response.  The dictatorship of public opinion just suggests "Oh things will get better."  Bull fucking shit.  I have been fighting this depression battle for 35 years.  "Oh you just need to talk to someone or get on medication."  Bull fucking shit.  I have exhausted all those options a long time ago.  When I see all those posts on facebook that suggest the only thing that sometimes causes someone to kill them self is a lack of someone to talk to.......bull fucking shit.  I have plenty of people to talk to.  Eventually you just get so tired, you have zero left in you to go on.  This is where I have arrived.

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11 minutes ago, TimmyStan1967 said:

Eventually you just get so tired, you have zero left in you to go on.

what gets to me is that it's all for nothing. whether one goes on or not, it's all pointless, meaningless, purposeless and worthless. people desperately try assigning all sorts of meaning to things, but in the end, it's all nonsense; or as you eloquently put it "bull fucking shit". sure, if someone has a more or less good life with very little problems, then maybe they can go on, but when it's an endless stream of misery, staying around makes much less sense.

i'm not trying to encourage you to kill yourself; just saying i completely understand.

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You are not supposed to be miserable if you live in the developed world - ask any activist or rich person. They will travel halfway around the globe to "give back to humanity", yet tell someone back home who's suicidal or depressed that they need to "get over themselves" or "quit being a pussy". I have never said some people don't have problems - everybody has problems. That's life. What I have suggested is that most people are better equipped than many of us to cope with these problems. 

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TimmyStan, I want to add my support to you. I'm sorry you're going through all of this. :( Decisions regarding one's health and whether or not to receive treatment for a serious illness are very personal choices, I feel. Whatever you decide, we are here as a support and to listen. I'm so sorry that treatment for depression has not been helpful and that you have been suffering with these painful feelings for so long.

Care to you, Timmy.

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