Back again with a whole new set of issues.

[Powerhouse8000]

Time for another update.

I've joined Tinder today and put up a good photo of myself and within 15 minutes had a very good looking and slim young blonde match with me. The fact that she swiped right on my photo alone is an ego boost. I've been on it less than half an hour and already had one match, wonder how many more I will get when more of them log onto their phones?

I don't really want to do Plenty of Fish again. I might consider it if Tinder doesn't work out, but personally I'd rather explore different options as I was on POF for years.

I've also updated my pics on Facebook, Whatsapp, Kik and YouTube. There are so many different online websites, apps and services that people use these days to keep on top of!

The woman who this thread was originally about appeared on my Facebook feed as a potential friend. Turns out, she had quite a few mutual friends with me. When you live in a small city like what I do, people know people. It's just not that big a place.

What I'm concerned about now is being exposed as using sites like Fetlife and Fabswingers. Would especially not like it if any of my family or friends found my profile on any of those sites. That being said, she had far more to worry about as she was putting full face pics on her profile and explicitly pornographic sexual images as well. On both Fetlife and Fabswingers my profile does not include a full face picture, and the only pic with actual full nudity as such is one dick pic.

I do notice that Tinder requires you to pay if you want to be able to swipe right as many people as you like? There's always a catch or someone trying to make money in this world somewhere. And you have to wait about 12 hours before you can swipe right again? What a con that is.

I swiped right on about 90% of the Tinder profiles I came across. Mostly they were very good looking young-ish women.

Have also been talking to various women on that Fabswingers site this weekend. A lot of them are somewhat older, many are in their 30s and 40s, playing up to the stereotype that it is older women that are for whatever reason (an hard-wired evolutionary drive to get one last baby before they become infertile?) sexually gagging for it.

I had this thought to myself this weekend:

Maybe in the future it will become socially acceptable, even to family, employers etc, for normal people to have naked pics and even porn of them on the internet.

The world has already changed massively from what it was even just twenty years ago. Huge social changes.

In this day and age, social media, and indeed, sexual media (see what I did there?), are more or less ubiquitous among the younger generation. Most people under 40 and many people older than that spend huge amounts of time on their smartphones.

And porn is everywhere, too. Not just professionally made porn, but also people just taking dirty pics of themselves and others. That is one thing that smartphones have really made super easy.

There are loads and loads of women who are willing to do this. I showed the site Fabswingers.com to one of my dad's mates this week (a guy in his 50s) and he was amazed at what was out there. He was taken aback by the fact that women were willingly putting porn of themselves online and looking for sex, and said to me that some of them must be prostitutes, to which I said that some might be but the vast majority are probably not.

For whatever reason, porn has become totally normalized and the rest of the world is going to have to catch up and accept it. Someday in the not too distant future, anyone who opposes porn is going to be nothing but a moralistic dinosaur.

[YOTH]

I always thought it was that, women want sex, men need sex. We can't function without it and they are like sexual camels and can do 40 days and 40 nights standing on their heads. Most of them that is, excluding overly sexual women and low t guys. I'm a pretty small guy size wise, apparently average in reality, but small to anyone you asked on the street. But I feel like if a man doesn't allow himself to switch on his animalistic side every now and again, he's doomed to beta mentality (which I'm trying to undo). I recently had the epiphany, that it doesn't matter what your pecking order is with other men, it's where you are in the pecking order of your mind that dictates whether you're an alpha or not to yourself and women. If you're confident, cocksure (despite size) and moving somewhere, then she wants to come for the ride. That's probably why they're always looking for a man with a good job, ambition and drive (Lamborghini lol). All those superficial things say 'I've been somewhere good, who knows where I'm going next?'. I always assumed they were just being shallow, but really the guy is saying 'I've done half the job, will you help me finish it?'. I don't know where I'm going with all that, it didn't really relate to anything, it just wrote itself as I was thinking something else 😂. And funny you should mention about sex after marriage, I'm not married but thought I might as well be after 10 years. Sex is like taking the bins out, nobody can be arsed doing it, but it's feels good when it's done and you don't have to do it for another fortnight lol. 

[Powerhouse8000]

Thanks. I think.

Taking the bins out. That good?

[LaLa]

17 hours ago, YOTH said:

doomed to beta mentality

It evoked the question "What do you think about this?"

 

[Powerhouse8000]

So thought it was time for an update again. If this post comes across as incoherent compared to some of my other posts here, it's because things are getting too much.

Last night, for whatever reason, I was feeling very depressed and very low again.

My self hatred came back last night. Although my mood is better this morning, I think it's worth trying to understand why I get in such awful moods.

Sometimes, I don't even know why, but I just do hate myself. Is it because of being male? Is it because of being a white male? Is it because of being an adult man? Is it because of being me? Or is it just the desire to be someone else, to see the world from someone else's perspective? I thought I was past this nonsense, but apparently not.

Right so anyway, what I wanted to say is that I have got problems. Big problems. I'm probably not going to be able to ever be satisfied in a relationship, and here's why:

1. Sex is a problem. Physically, the act of sex is very difficult for me to actually do, for reasons that I've described many times on this forum already. I wonder if I would be happier in this respect if I had a smaller penis? For all the people that say they are unhappy because they have a small penis, I have a relatively larger penis and I am very unhappy and sexually unsatisfied.

2. Sharing a bed is a problem. I very seldom get a good night's sleep when having to share a bed with a woman, and neither usually does she. I get up in the night to use the toilet a lot especially if I've not really tired myself out a lot that day.

3. Trust is a problem. At the core of my psyche, I don't really trust anyone in the entire world except myself. I am paranoid by nature. I lock all doors, double check, write everything down, and so on. There's no way I could trust a woman in my home messing with my stuff. No way.

4. My social life is poor. I don't drink alcohol these days, which means I don't go out much to bars, which means I don't have a good social life, which is caused by me not drinking alcohol. And having a good social life is key to having great relationships. So it's a vicious circle.

5. Having common interests is a problem. My interests are quite different from the average guy. I am not very into sports or into going to the pub. A little bit, but not really. The average girl is looking for the average guy. Not someone who is a bit different like me. I like to do lots of things, but I am just not going to click with a lot of "normal" women.

6. My job is a problem. I hate my job, can't emphasise that enough. It is dead-end, unpleasant work. And having a good job can be important if you want to settle down in a reationship. So again, it's a vicious circle. Don't get me wrong, I can survive on my wages but I still depend on getting financial support from my dad so I'm still not fully independent as an adult for money reasons only.

I know it is important not to pigeonhole people, but sometimes I can't cope with the psychological pressure.

Being an adult man, and being a white male, are both incredibly stressful life experiences. In many ways, part of me still feels like I haven't grown up that much. Many of my personality traits that I had at 10 years old, I still have at 30 years old. And I quite like that, because it means I'm being true to my original self.

If there's one thing I hate about being an adult man, is the way that men are seen as potentially threatening. You are guilty before being proven innocent. Paedophile hysteria and "rape culture" hysteria are good examples of the way that men are demonized just for being men. Feminists just want to stir up shit. I am all for women having their freedom, but not for these bitches that want to promote hate. As Donald Trump suggested, the far left is just as bad as the far right. And ideas like "white male privilege" are complete bullshit.

My mother when she was alive was on antidepressants, and my sister is on them now. If it's possible that these things run in families, then maybe I should be on them as well. But I don't know what the effects would be.

Women and men are not as different as you think. At the end of the day both just want to be loved right?

But I do have low self esteem. Do I still hate myself because of being a white male? I honestly don't even know. At times I do. Would life be easier if I was something other than a white male? At times it would be. At other times it would not.

The main reason why being a white male makes you feel sexually inadequate is because of the feeling of being totally powerless to stop the destruction of the white European race, powerless to stop interracial sex and interracial relationships, and have no control over the reproductive process or the course of human evolution. In short, you have no right to get sex, you are going to die, and your race will become extinct with 100% certainty and any attempt to fight this is futile, yet you were put on this earth and have evolutionary urges to have sex and reproduce but you know it's a lost cause anyway.

If women are crazy, then I am even crazier. I am very masculine, but also in some ways in touch with my feminine side, but not like in a gay way or anything. If racial disloyalty is a feminine trait it is because of male territorial weakness. Women control evolution and sexual selection. The only choice men have is Hobson's choice - take it or leave it.

I honestly believe that height may correlate with penis size more than race. I was on a website and there was this black guy trying to make out that he had a big dick, and it was a lot smaller than mine. But obviously, he was a lot shorter than me as well.

Some white men go for Asian women (from the far east and south east Asia, NOT the Indian subcontinent) but honestly I have never really seen the appeal at all. The whole white men with Asian women thing is a recognised phenomenon in the way that black men with white women is a distinct thing as well.

I strongly prefer the looks of white women over the looks of women of any other race, but can understand why white men would get tired of the way that white western women have become, and how debased western culture in general has become.

There are so many beautiful young women out there. There are also a lot of single mothers out there as well. I think it's really sad that there are so many, as it has a negative impact on the children's upbringing as well. We are definitely poorer as a society for having made bastardization the norm. Poverty breeds poverty. I should know that because I am barely on more than poverty wages myself, despite coming from a relatively wealthy family.

Last night I was driving in my car. I passed four prostitutes while driving through the red light district of the city I live in. It's one particular street where they tend to congregate on weekend nights.

Aberdeen is quite a rough, northern, industrial port city. The most similar British cities to Aberdeen that I can think of are Dundee, Middlesborough and Kingston-upon-Hull, out of ones that I have visited. It is a pretty miserable place to live, a place defined by how much wealth you have, how you dress and the way you speak. And there is plenty of poverty and drugs here, and nothing really that much to do except get drunk. If I used to be a heavy drinker, it might come from living in a place where there is nothing to do except drink.

[Victimorthecrime]

My family was working class but I can relate to what you are going through.  I have horrible mood swings from that go from being giddy w delight to wishing I could kill myself.  I have cut way back on the drinking so my social life has evaporated.  I have always had jobs I hate.  Failure at relationships.  

[Powerhouse8000]

Well actually, both my parents came from working class backgrounds then later became middle class.

I had a middle class upbringing but am doing a working class job and not earning middle class wages.

I am actually feeling better today than I was last night at least. And yes, I do get very bad mood swings.

[Victimorthecrime]

Glad you're feeling a bit better.  Hopefully you'll find better work at some point.  

I saw your post Klingsor 😏

 

[Powerhouse8000]

Did he post an abusive message in here which was deleted?

[Victimorthecrime]

LOL! No not at all, he just said he could relate to what I posted.  

[Powerhouse8000]

I should probably do an update on here soon, but I just really don't have the time at the moment. I hate being busy all the time.

Long story short, I'm seeing someone new at the moment, and will do a proper update about this in due course. All is going well so far, but very early days still.

[Victimorthecrime]

Compliment her. Don't talk about obscure abstract shit. Women don't give a rats ass about it.  Be confident and try to act like you have a vision for the future even though you don't.  

[LostBoy]

Good luck @Powerhouse8000 let us know how it progresses. Just be into her and take it at her pace.

[Powerhouse8000]

On 10/24/2017 at 10:44 PM, Victimorthecrime said:

Compliment her. Don't talk about obscure abstract shit. Women don't give a rats ass about it.  Be confident and try to act like you have a vision for the future even though you don't.  

I would normally consider you one of the good guys on here but what you've said here isn't quite right.

Compliment her - yes I have done that where appropriate. You don't want to go overboard and be gushing though

Don't talk about obscure shit - I'm not a social retard so have done my best to limit that

Be confident - I am always confident on the surface

Act like I have a vision for the future - How would you know I don't have a vision for the future? I actually do

[Victimorthecrime]

Alright then man good on ya. I'm just going by what you say here about being stuck in a dead end job, relationships not working out, obsessive thoughts etc.  Buy hey you know the real deal so go for it.  

[Powerhouse8000]

It is relatively late in the day, but I think it is an appropriate time for an update now. If I don't do it now, when am I going to find the time?

So on Sunday 15th, I was online and a new woman began chatting to me. She is 3 years younger than me, she is a pretty girl but she is also quite a big girl as well if that makes any sense. Anyway, to cut a long story short, she messaged me first, we got talking, and swapped numbers, chatted on the phone, and had lengthy phone conversations, then agreed to meet up.

We have had 3 dates now. One was last Thursday night, one was Sunday afternoon and the most recent one was tonight.

Everything has been positive so far until tonight, when she expressed a bit of concern that we might not be mutually compatible. Can you guess what she said?

She said that I am too loud, I talk too much and I don't let her talk enough because I dominate the conversation too much.

Victim of crime user above, he suggested that I should act confident but he doesn't know what I am like in real life, he only knows what I post here. In real life I have a lot of confidence because I just don't give two shits. I am past the point of caring. But maybe I actually have too much confidence, by the sounds of things.

But aside from that, both me and her find each other very attractive and she said that aside from me being too loud and talking too much, if I was to sort that then she could definitely see herself spending her life with me long term. So anyway our next meeting is going to be Saturday night and I am supposed to take her somewhere for a surprise date. This could go either one of two ways - either I sort my issues out and don't act all loud and talk all the time, or I stay the same and we are not right for each other. Only time will tell.

What do you suggest that I do?

Relationships are a bit like trees. Very fragile and vulnerable in their early stages, but as time passes they become bigger and stronger, and the more time goes on, the more difficult it is for a small issue to destroy the relationship completely. It has to be something big, or an ongoing series of problems that have not solved themselves despite attempts to do so, that would be able to kill off a serious long term relationship, whereas even petty and minor things can kill off a relationship in its early stages.

And another thing: in the world of dating, you have to be really tactical. I often find myself thinking quite hard about exactly what to say in terms of the impression it could create and what it may or may not be construed as implying. The advantage of text-based communication is that it gives you time to think about your answer that you don't get in real life. But even then, I know that sometimes a verbal blunder can have a critical effect.

I have already dumped a woman this year that loved me to bits, that wanted to be my life partner. That was the hardest decision to make, but I had to do it as I wasn't happy.

[Victimorthecrime]

I hope other people will chime in here because honestly I am the last person anyone should relationship advice from.  

That said, in my view a successful relationship is one that just kind of "clicks" right from the get go.  Too many problems early on is a bad sign.  I base this more on seeing friends of mine who found "the one" than anything in my life. To a man when these guys met their gal it just fell right into place.  So there ya have it - my 2 cents.  

[Powerhouse8000]

Thanks anyway.

I have been on three dates now with this new woman I'm seeing.

Tonight she's inviting me over to her place and is going to be cooking for me. We may or may not go out after that. Sounds good, no?

But just because I'm being invited to hers does not mean I will try to get her into bed just yet.

I will try for a kiss and a nice cuddle tonight, but not getting her panties off unless that's what she explicitly wants. Got to take these things slowly.

[LostBoy]

@Powerhouse8000, I agree. Take things slowly and get to know her. Don't push the bedroom activity. Let it come naturally and it will happen when it should. Focus on her and the relationship in order to build that trust and intimacy.

This is all assuming that you want a long term relationship with her. Don't "settle" just because you're afraid you won't find someone for you because this will just make you unhappy in the long run.

This is all just based on my experience and opinion. You have to decide what's best for you.

[Powerhouse8000]

Well that was a pretty uneventful night.

I don't think she is the right person for me to be honest. She says she's still willing to give it a try, but after last night I have doubts about whether we are compatible at all.

She said some stuff about me earlier that was critical of the way I was behaving, but is now apologetic about it. I don't know where we stand with all this.

I actually found it quite easy to get talking to women online when I put up a good picture of myself on a dating site and put up a good profile.

But the one thing that always seems to be constant is this: I always end up with fat women.

[YOTH]

I fucking love them. Wouldn't go back to skinny women now for a big clock lol. They're so much better than than thin and annoying. It's not that they're less annoying, they just seem to appreciate attention a lot more. 

[LostBoy]

There's nothing at all wrong with women who are not of the stereotypical "supermodel" size. While I like women of all shapes and sizes I prefer some curves and some "meat on their bones".

@YOTH, I'm going to have to disagree with your comment. If having a skinny woman would result in me having a larger cock then I would be buying a gym and hiring a full time personal trainer for my wife. 😂 

 

[Powerhouse8000]

There has been quite a lot of change again.

Finished with the new woman I was seeing, not currently seeing anyone, and just had an unexpected death in the family last weekend. So hasn't been great for me.

Don't have time to do a proper update right now.

All I can say right now is that sometimes I just feel horrible.

I don't know whether I feel bad because of being a white man, or just being a man, or being an adult, but there is something horrible about it. It's just a painful existence and that's that.

Don't have time to explain further, but surely you will know what I mean

[Powerhouse8000]

Just feel really angry right now about being a man / white man / adult, angry and frustrated and upset about what it really means

[Victimorthecrime]

Sorry to hear about the death in your family ph8. Condolences.  

Also sorry to hear about the dissolution of your latest relationship.  

Advising complete strangers on the internet is tricky business but for its worth perhaps take a break from dating for a bit.  At least until your nerves settle.