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How to apologize


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I regret to inform you that I am regularly apologising and find myself in situations like this on a weekly if not, daily basis. I'm not sure what impact my actions have had on you and I can't guarantee it won't happen again, not that I care very much anyway as I'm extremely busy buying low and selling high. 

Again, I regret the situation and my secretary Linda apologises from the bottom of her fragile egg shell heart. 

Many thanks.

Mr Ralph ( pronounced Rafe )  Mupplit-Jones Jr

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A few years ago I mastered the worst ever apology. My wording was sooo patronizing. The centerpiece was always "I'm sorry you feel that way (...) I didn't realise you'd feel offended by that". My younger sister & I would have a right blast exchanging notes. Now I believe I say something like "Soz". To be honest I really couldn't give a fuck if I upset someone - unless I broke their trust. Now that is something I would not do. 

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