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Introverted
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I'm almost 50 years old and been married over 20 years. My wife has cheated on several occasions. I have buried or hidden penis syndrome. It pretty much rolls up and stays hidden. She has said that my size was part of the problem. I'm almost 4 inches erect and thin. She says she wants to stay together. I would like to stay together but it's really hard knowing these things. She has admitted not wanting to see or touch it. I've never been in a relationship where I wasn't cheated on. I'm really confused.

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Hello, Introverted, and welcome! I hope you'll find here the support you need and some useful insights.

I'm sorry I don't have time now to figure out what to say, so I'm at least "copy-pasting" here two interviews about marriage - potentially interesting also to you (?):

- What infidelity can teach us about ourselves and relationships: therapist Esther Perel:
- How 'love hacks' can make your marriage better:

Best wishes!

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That sounds awful. Most women don't want to see or touch our penises, that's just marriage/relationships, and to be fair, they are disgusting lol. But it's like she's saying she doesn't love all of you and that must be hurtful. I don't know about the cheating, I'm too proud. I'd rather spend my life alone that with a cheat, especially if they haven't sought counselling or told me how they feel beforehand. But everyone is different with how they deal with these things and I'm not judging you for the way you handle your business. And it does sound confusing and shit in general. If she wants to stay together then there has to be communication and love in equal parts. I'd maybe try marriage counseling of you haven't already and take it from there. Good luck and welcome to the forum, you have friends here from all over the world going through the same things. ☮

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Hello @Introverted welcome to the group. In my mind, if she loves you then cheating does not occur or at least it doesn't continue. Everyone probably deserves a second chance but not being sorry and trying to improve is not acceptable in my opinion. There are people in the world who are happily married to each other and monogamous but cannot have sex due to medical conditions or paralysis. If you have a functioning penis and the will to try and do everything possible within your means to ensure your wife is satisfied then there should be no reason for her to cheat.

The size of your penis does not stop an orgasm and clitoral stimulation usually produces better results anyway. BTW I also have a very small penis (3.6X3.7) on my absolute best day and I have been married for a long time as well. I use toys and lots of foreplay for my wife to ensure she is satisfied (at least as much as I'm capable of) and I make sure she has multiple orgasms before there is even penetration on my side. I think this has helped her not want to "go looking" because I make sex all about her. My needs are always secondary to making sure that she is satisfied. This may not work for everyone but it has worked well for me over the years.

I hope you find a way forward that meets your needs the best. As @YOTH indicated, you are not alone and there are others that have had similar situations on this site so please reach out as you go through the struggles and while we may not have answers we can definitely support you during the trials and tribulations.

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I read my comment back and feel like I should edit it a tad. Some women just don't like penises, in the same way that many men don't like going down on women. Not to mention you can get mouth cancer from cunnilingus < love that word ha. I dated one girl who fucking loved to suck, she loved swallowing and ball licking and she'd tongue your arse if she was in the mood. My current gf doesn't give head except on special occasions and generally thinks guys are gross, which is true lol. Some women like it, some women don't. Just one of those things. 

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