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12 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said:

Explain

Yeah, my mother would talk confidentially to me when I was still in grade school and later about inappropriate intimate topics;  things we might talk about here or, back then, would be discussed only in therapy or with a very close adult friend. 

Probably had something to do with the fact she had been addicted to amphetamines since WWII when they were handed out like candy in the military.  She continued taking them while pregnant with me which probably had something to do with me being low testosterone and pathologically shy from toddler-hood.   People using amphetamines talk too much and do other inappropriate things.  She was also plagued by "spells" of semi-conscious paralysis which she said always occurred during sex. 

She said my father who never had a date of any kind with a woman until he was 30 with my mother.  She told me he had grave difficulties maintaining achieving and maintaining an erection and that she was lucky to get pregnant the first time.  She also revealed he had no problems being a leader in athletic competition and team sports, but had grave problems with social phobia when they first married though he had overcome it as he aged.  I could go on and on. . . 

It was always clear to me he had a very small flaccid penis as compared to other athletic men when I accompanied him to the YMCA and on other occasions.  He seemed totally oblivious and was perceived as a nice tough guy.  When I was high school and college age, both of us togetherer were subjected to mild penis size ribbing in locker rooms by his friends and associates on several occasions over the years.  The ribbing, on the surface, appeared to roll off him like water off a ducks back. 

He claimed that it was ridiculous to be ashamed of your body and seemed to purposely train me from a young age by attending the YMCA (they had nude male swimming then--no women were allowed in the Y as now) with him not to be sensitive about your body.  Of course, it had the opposite effect.  He never breathed a word about penis size to me.

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23 hours ago, lbaker said:

I'm convinced Adler was wrong-headed.  Was he Cathlolic, I wonder?

Surely, the Catholic Church's prohibition of birth control and abortion, makes the pursuit of sexual satisfaction and even the pursuit of sexual compatibility nearly impossible, even within marriage!  This must be by design, an attempt to reverse what the Church saw as the essential evil of sexual competition, phallic worship, etc.  No accident that the sexual revolution began IN EARNEST with the invention of the PILL.  It also advanced prior to that with condoms during the 20s and subsequent war years.   Seems like a futile fight against human nature.

BTW:  After reading about Adler here, I can clearly see that my father used the Adlerian or a Catholic defense mindset to defend against his small penis status.  Without hesitation he rejected the sexual power orientation of his peers as wrong or immoral whenever it raised its head.   Outwardly, he betrayed no sense of inferiority, but I learned better from my mother!

Answering my own "wonder" above, turns-out Adler was Jewish  He was also a socialist and surrounded by socialists in his life which might explain his feelings about rejecting power and seeking "social improvement" as a primary.  Some say socialism is a Christian heresy.  Christ's disciples adopted socialism as did most early Christians.

Wikipedia:

Alfred Adler was born at Mariahilfer Straße 208[7] in Rudolfsheim, then a village on the western fringes of Vienna, and today part of Rudolfsheim-Fünfhaus, the 15th district of the city. He was second of the seven children of a Jewish couple, Pauline (Beer) and Leopold Adler, a Hungarian-born grain merchant.[8][9][10] Alfred's younger brother died in the bed next to him, when Alfred was only three years old.[11]

Personal life[edit]

During his college years, he had become attached to a group of socialist students, among which he had found his wife-to-be, Raissa Timofeyewna Epstein, an intellectual and social activist from Russia studying in Vienna. They married in 1897 and had four children, two of whom became psychiatrists.[55] Their children were writer, psychiatrist and Socialist activist Alexandra Adler;[56] psychiatrist Kurt Adler;[57] writer and activist Valentine Adler;[58] and Cornelia "Nelly" Adler.[59]

Author and journalist Margot Adler (1946-2014) was Adler's granddaughter

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On 4/30/2019 at 2:15 AM, FloridaDood898 said:

I really think this whole penis envy is out dated I mean I understand its a primal thing but truth of the matter is we generally don't get to see our friends dicks much (thankfully) to compete in that way and besides everyones full of s**t when it comes to their erect sizes. 

I note that only the fairly well hung and the well hung think this apparently because they don't think about it much when their peers get an idea of their flaccid state while the small obsess about it.  With them it's just and inconsequential transient thought even though they automatically categorize the very "small" as handicapped or pathetic.  Yes, flaccid is a poor indicator of erect, but people make the jump in inductive logic anyway.  Very small or retracting flaccid does seem to rule-out being well hung, however.

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The worst part about 'perceived size' is that I completely understand how someone could come to the conclusion that I have a tiny dick (smaller than it actually is). It surprises me how much it grows and from my worst flaccid size to my best erect size, the two sizes are world's apart. 

Unfortunately we live in a world dominated by speculation, hearsay and assumptions. And that'll never change, so size perception will never change. In this world you could live quite happily (at least appear normal) with a big flaccid hang, bravado and complete irreversible erectile dysfunction. Where as a guy who is average, has a lot of great sex but has a small flaccid size will be ridiculed to his face and laughed at behind his back with no possibility of a comeback.  

 

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I have an honest question about something I just don't understand.  Why would any heterosexual man care what other men think of their penis?  Yes, ridicule of any form about penis size from anyone is hurtful and wrong.  But, I would think the opinion from a woman would hold much more weight.  I would also think that the erect state would be your personal benchmark for size and your anatomical potential to please a woman, not the flaccid state.  At least this is how I view it, but I know we are all unique.

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1 hour ago, Toosmallforcomfort said:

I have an honest question about something I just don't understand.  Why would any heterosexual man care what other men think of their penis?  Yes, ridicule of any form about penis size from anyone is hurtful and wrong.  But, I would think the opinion from a woman would hold much more weight.  I would also think that the erect state would be your personal benchmark for size and your anatomical potential to please a woman, not the flaccid state.  At least this is how I view it, but I know we are all unique.

 

Some of you have led unbelievably insulated lives. 

 

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/penis-size-does-matter-in-the-locker-room-at-least-9202855.html

Quote

A scientist has somewhat controversially determined that penis size really does matter – but not to women and not in the bedroom.

After spending a year analysing the results, he found that all of the men were inclined to look at other penises in the changing room in order to compare one teammate’s size with another.

Well-endowed teammates, he noted, were likely to become key team-building members of the group.

This knowing of who has a large cock and who didn’t within a homosocial environment helped individual sporting males climb up a social hierarchy of importance,” he wrote in Outsports.

“Those with the larger penises were revered and idolised by their teammates as a symbol of masculinity.”

Penis size also provided the basis for jokes and nicknames among teammates, he said, who would continue this banter outside of the locker room and into social situations.

Dr Morriss-Roberts said one athlete explained that if they saw a well-endowed teammate talking to a woman in a club they might inform her that he had a large appendage.

Those with large penises also had to maintain a sexually active lifestyle in order to keep their reputation as masculine.

In contrast, men who had smaller penises had to work harder to climb up the team social hierarchy, particularly if they were overweight.

Meanwhile, some straight athletes admitted to encouraging a semi-erection in order to make their penises look bigger. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ua2XnYlm-o

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4DXaKuOAZ0 ("I gave up comparing genitals back in the schoolyard...")

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There are two types of alpha males: the "gigolo" and the "gorilla". In very rare instances, some men may carry both traits...a "gigorilla", if you will. If you can't get a reputation for being a hung pretty boy, fucking lots of women, satisfying lots of women, etc. then you better be big and savage enough to beat the shit out of any other male that messes with you. Every single boy that isn't a homeschooled, hothouse orchhid learns this by the time he's an adolescent. 

Or content yourself with being the four-eyed, bookwormy loser who feeds birds during his lunchbreak. 

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Getting men to admit or acknowledge the article quoted above is like trying to pull gold out a whale's blowhole. It's like that Trump Access Hollywood tape that came out before the election, when he went into damage control and characterized it as "locker room talk". Of course all the professional 7-figures-a-year douchebags circled the wagons and came out on national television to proclaim that they would NEVER speak like that about women..."We hang an icon of the Virgin Mary above every single locker, we never talk derogatorily about women...how many we've fucked...how hard we pounded her....how we made that hoe squirt last night....no NEVER."

I've never heard anything more baldfaced ridiculous in my life. 

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35 minutes ago, Klingsor said:
 

Some of you have led unbelievably insulated lives

Well, I guess ignorance is bliss.  Sure, I know where I stand in the locker room, but it hasn't effected my ability to achieve leadership roles in my career, but mainly with sexual relationships.  At least that has bothered me the most over the years. I'm sure I'm not alone.  But, you educated me and I thank you.  

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1 hour ago, Toosmallforcomfort said:

it hasn't effected my ability to achieve leadership roles in my career, but mainly with sexual relationships. But, you educated me and I thank you.  

Thank you for saying that something I have posted holds any value here.

I think there is a generational gap that I have sometimes failed to recognize; lbaker touches upon it with his father. I think even through the 1970's a man could still find success and maintain a reasonably satisfying marriage to a woman without being hung. The topic of money versus sex has often cropped up in these threads; until recently, I think a stable career, children, and an ability to "keep up with the Jones's" was enough to establish a relationship - the middle class "American dream". 

Today, I do not think that is true. Social media and phone dating apps have irreversibly changed everything about relationships. Also, I would encourage you to read the paper I linked in the post below. It describes very accurately this money versus sex dichotomy and how socio-sexual hierarchies are established and how it is linked to the overall economy...a good indicator of what life will be like for the millions of suburbanite, middle-management, un-skilled labor force males when the US economy finally disintegrates. 

 

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2 hours ago, Klingsor said:

Getting men to admit or acknowledge the article quoted above is like trying to pull gold out a whale's blowhole. It's like that Trump Access Hollywood tape that came out before the election, when he went into damage control and characterized it as "locker room talk". Of course all the professional 7-figures-a-year douchebags circled the wagons and came out on national television to proclaim that they would NEVER speak like that about women..."We hang an icon of the Virgin Mary above every single locker, we never talk derogatorily about women...how many we've fucked...how hard we pounded her....how we made that hoe squirt last night....no NEVER."

I've never heard anything more baldfaced ridiculous in my life. 

I must say, however, that what Trump actually said, as compared to how it was characterized in the media, was quite mild.  He said celebrities can get away with grabbing pussies, he didn't say he did.  He DID say he kisses women.  When asked by Billy Bush, the Bush relative who was trying to set him up or get action thru Trump, to "hug" the nubile actress, he said, I guess Melania wouldn't mind a hug, etc.  Oddly, Trump's "locker room" talk was very mild compared to what I've heard in locker rooms which included bragging about outright intimidation and abuse to get the girl to "put-out", if not rape.  There were no celebrities in my locker room unless you count High School Jocks as stars.  It was almost like Trump was worried he might be on video.

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Quote

Around the same time that Duke was winning its first national lacrosse championship, Karen Owen, a Duke senior, thought it would be a good idea to put together a PowerPoint presentation entitled "An Education Beyond the Classroom: Excelling in the Realm of Horizontal Academics." Owen sent the presentation to three friends and hoped that it would not go beyond them. But she miscalculated, and the subsequently so-called Duke Fuck List soon went viral. In often-graphic terms, Owen included the names and photographs of thirteen Duke male athletes she had had sex with during her four years at Duke. She also decided it would be interesting and informative to rank the athletes by prowess and performance and to include in her presentation a narrative description of her experience with each man. As the PowerPoint went viral, the national media's interest ratcheted up, despite the explicit nature of the presentation's content. Owen was horrified. "I regret it with all my heart," she told the media. "I would never intentionally hurt the people who are mentioned." [How does it hurt anybody except the ones you ranked low?]

Maybe so, but Owen's "thesis" did nothing to dispel Duke's "work hard, play hard" image or the idea of the school as a "hook-up" culture gone wild as documented in Janet Reitman's 2006 Rolling Stone article. Of course, Owen's favorite "subjects" were lacrosse players. Numero uno, with a score of 10.25 on a scale of 1 to 10 was a junior attackman on the 2010 championship team. "I and several friends had been discussing which men at Duke merited entry into the exclusive 'township' referred to as Woodcock Pocket," Owen wrote. "Entry was based exclusively on the size of their male appendages. Although none of us had experienced the wonders of this particular Subject, my friend Ali submitted him as a candidate based on an incident when he randomly whipped his dick out in the middle of working on a class project. We had laughed about it, but I hadn't given it much thought until we were introduced (and then it was all I could think about)."

-William D. Cohan. The Price of Silence: The Duke Lacrosse Scandal, the Power of the Elite, and the Corruption of Our Great Universities. Scribner, 2014.

I posted about this Daddy's Little Angel years ago, and the moderators locked the thread because it is so difficult for many men to read what this girl wrote without feeling rage. So I won't link or include any more of what she wrote, but I charitably warn anyone who isn't familiar with her not to read her "presentation" if stuff like this triggers you. The point I'm making here is not about what she wrote (which is not surprising), but the fact that there was/is a housing community populated by MALE ATHLETES who informally use penis size as a selection criteria for admission to the community/dorm/housing/whatever. This isn't a bunch of "thots". It's the creme de la creme of university student life - MALE ATHLETES - who set this criteria. Even if it's just a joke, it's the same old bullshit of, "lighten up, brooooo....it's just a meme, braahhh...just be confident, broooooooo..." 

This type of stuff is not unique to Duke. I went to a large public university that has a reputation for partying, and the fraternities and athletic clubs act just like this. I should have never went to college. The damage it did outstrips any possible benefit I received. These college athletes are like a different species from me. After one year, I stopped trying to hookup. Couldn't compete. 

The various internet subcultures basically polarize around this very topic, and it is essentially a question of entitlement - are all men entitled to sex with a comparable ("looksmatched") female, or are all women entitled to sex only with the 5-10% male "elite" (chads)? Obviously self-interest plays a role in which side someone takes, but that's essentially the Great Cultural Debate of our time. 

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8 minutes ago, lbaker said:

I must say, however, that what Trump actually said, as compared to how it was characterized in the media, was quite mild.  He said celebrities can get away with grabbing pussies, he didn't say he did.  He DID say he kisses women.  When asked by Billy Bush, the Bush relative who was trying to set him up or get action thru Trump, to "hug" the nubile actress, he said, I guess Melania wouldn't mind a hug, etc.  Oddly, Trump's "locker room" talk was very mild compared to what I've heard in locker rooms which included bragging about outright intimidation and abuse to get the girl to "put-out", if not rape.  There were no celebrities in my locker room unless you count High School Jocks as stars.  It was almost like Trump was worried he might be on video.

I'm not trying to derail this into a political debate; I wasn't arguing the merits/de-merits of what he said, just how utter ridiculous it was to see professional athletes come out on national television and act like they are monks. 

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4 minutes ago, Klingsor said:

I'm not trying to derail this into a political debate; I wasn't arguing the merits/de-merits of what he said, just how utter ridiculous it was to see professional athletes come out on national television and act like they are monks. 

Yeah, I know.  But, the way the media exaggerated what Trump said implies, like night follows day, that they KNEW how men talk and could easily convince everyone who also knew how men often talk in locker rooms!

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On 12/3/2019 at 6:20 AM, lbaker said:

I'm convinced Adler was wrong-headed.  Was he Cathlolic, I wonder?

Ah, ha!  Adler converted to Christanity in spite of being born Jewish.  In Austria, you can bet he converted the Roman Catholic Church.  Do any Protestants live in Austria?

Wikipedia:

In the early 1930s, after most of Adler's Austrian clinics had been closed due to his Jewish heritage (despite his conversion to Christianity), Adler left Austria for a professorship at the Long Island College of Medicine in the US. Adler died from a heart attack in 1937 in Aberdeen, Scotland, during a lecture tour, although his remains went missing and were unaccounted for until 2007.[20]

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17 hours ago, Klingsor said:

This type of stuff is not unique to Duke. I went to a large public university that has a reputation for partying, and the fraternities and athletic clubs act just like this. I should have never went to college. The damage it did outstrips any possible benefit I received. These college athletes are like a different species from me. After one year, I stopped trying to hookup. Couldn't compete. 

I was good enough in a sport to be considered at the major University I attended though I had no scholarship.  I practiced for a year on the "reserve/ freshman" squad but never made the team.

Most of the guys who actually made the team became professionals.  You might even recognize some of their names.  Each and everyone of them looked well hung flaccid.  Also, they all belonged to fraternities and I heard them talk in the locker room about the constant sex they were having.  This was before "hook-up culture" so things were somewhat different.  Women from what I could tell were still being categorized and nice girls and sluts.  They would talk disparagingly, but braggingly about their sex with "sluts" who seemed to hang around the fraternities.  They would pass the sluts around.  I remember them talking about one as a "snapper" apparently meaning a very responsive, orgasming vagina.  Maybe it was the times.  They were fairly supportive of each other and only "jokingly" competitive.  They didn't talk about their "nice" girl friends.

I received no substantial razzing probably because my puberty had finally occurred, so other than my dick I was imposing and no one was looking for a fight.  I was not in the fraternities nor an outstanding talent, so, really, I was not on their radar.

 

 

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5 hours ago, KlingBro said:

@smallguy

Yeah it was like a totally different universe to me. I just gave up and viewed it like reality television or something completely disconnected from my existence. Kudos for being healthy enough to at least play sports and shower with them and not feel like a freak, I never even had that validation as a male.

No kudos due. 

I just learned to "be there feeling like a freak with no validation as a male."  Actually, I learned that in High School.  At least in High School some of my skills were tip top.  At the University level I had no redeeming value!

In a few years liquor put me nearer the party game, but, even then, not really in it.

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When I got on YouTube this morning, this was the ad leader: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeayB8gz3LQ

It pretty well covers everything discussed in this post: http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/11072-rant/?do=findComment&comment=137145

Look at the jerseys; the tall dude's says "48" while Kevin Hart's says "1/2". Team name is "Swagger". At one point, the tall one is looking at the camera with a confident smile wearing nothing but a towel, but speaking to Kevin Hart and says, "Sadly, you aren't me". Now people will say I'm reading way too much into this. But what other subconscious meaning is meant to be gleaned from this entire skit? You have the tall, naturally confident ("chill") smooth-talker patiently putting up with the loud, obnoxious, overcompensating "little guy". And the humpty dumpty white dweeb at the very end takes the cake. 

Also - would a public advertisement titled "Cold as Balls" been acceptable for even late-night public consumption 20 years ago?

Stuff like this happens to me all the time because I'm not as diligent as I used to be about hiding my online activity, I just don't give a damn anymore: https://blog.mozilla.org/firefox/cross-site-tracking-lets-unpack-that/. There's no way it's a coincidence. "But why would they promote an ad for you, Klingsor, if it's something that triggers you, since the purpose is to sell the product?" you may ask. Well, maybe the algorithms running the bots aren't smart enough to discriminate sentiment, only keywords. Unlikely. More likely it's just mind games. Fucking mind games for no other purpose than because they can. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, KlingBro said:

 There's no way it's a coincidence. "But why would they promote an ad for you, Klingsor, if it's something that triggers you, since the purpose is to sell the product?" you may ask. Well, maybe the algorithms running the bots aren't smart enough to discriminate sentiment, only keywords. Unlikely. More likely it's just mind games. Fucking mind games for no other purpose than because they can. 

They assume in the algorithms that you are NOT "past" these blandishments, yet.  They don't think you are as conscious as you are?  More bluntly, they think you are fighting inferiority feelings still?

Or is the ad aimed at guys like the tall guy?  Aimed at confirming his self image?

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@llbaker (aka Smallguy)

@lbaker

Why are you posting under two different accounts? Just ask @LaLa to deactivate one of them, you obviously remembered you had two accounts or you wouldn't have logged into both and continue to post under both. In answer to your question it's just human nature to fuck with other humans. Everything is about sex. That's why they call it "fucking with". 

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