Wife needing advice

[Toosmallforcomfort]

4 minutes ago, uptight outasight said:

www.lpsg.com

Pick up site for gay men, size queens, and masochists which I am not. Thank you.

[Wayless]

1 minute ago, Toosmallforcomfort said:

Pick up site for gay men, size queens, and masochists which I am not. Thank you.

Yup, that's the main emphasis, though, as I said, there are also thinkers and ideologues there.

Pretty sure that gay men with size obsessions are the main participants.  You are right.

[Herodotus]

It sounds like a SPS issue to me.  You can’t just tell him his penis is fine.  No rational explanation will fix an irrational problem. You can’t say things like “oh it’s so big”.  You have to be honest, but clever.  Example: wife and I make jokes about Chip and Joanna Gaines and their “Chip is going to get a ham sandwich later” line.  We think it refers to Joanna’s ‘business’, and it means Chip is going to get laid.  Wife and I were in the bathroom getting ready for the day.  She said “and you might get a ham sandwich for dinner”.  I said “I guess you’ll get a hot dog then”, trying to be clever.  She shifted her gaze and said “that thing’s a lot bigger than a hot dog... ;) “.

Those kind of comments do wonders for self esteem.  Work them in gradually.  

The other thing is non verbal.  Show enthusiasm for naked time with him.  Brush against him and ask if there’s a chance you’ll get lucky tonight, or whatever makes sense for your relationship.  Make sure you believably complement his prowess.  Anything from a long sigh afterward to an indirect compliment like “damn babe, you wore me out!”

[Wayless]

16 hours ago, Herodotus said:

Wife and I were in the bathroom getting ready for the day.  She said “and you might get a ham sandwich for dinner”.  I said “I guess you’ll get a hot dog then”, trying to be clever.  She shifted her gaze and said “that thing’s a lot bigger than a hot dog... “.

Probably proves my sps is terminal, but that female answer would upset me because it implies size consciousness!

[Toosmallforcomfort]

1 hour ago, uptight outasight said:

Probably proves my sps is terminal, but that female answer would upset me because it implies size consciousness!

Size consciousness can be construed in women regarding breast size.  Fortunately for women, they have successful breast enlargement possibilities.  Small breast insecurities can always be surgically altered.

[YOTH]

So the sps forum is just advice from anyone about any old shit now? Awesome

[Herodotus]

4 hours ago, YOTH said:

So the sps forum is just advice from anyone about any old shit now? Awesome

Do you make the rules?

[Wayless]

16 hours ago, Toosmallforcomfort said:

Size consciousness can be construed in women regarding breast size.  Fortunately for women, they have successful breast enlargement possibilities.  Small breast insecurities can always be surgically altered.

Uh, I meant penis size consciousness!

[YOTH]

11 hours ago, Herodotus said:

Do you make the rules?

No, but I'm allowed an opinion, as shitty as it is

[Victimorthecrime]

@YOTH how ya doin?  Merry Christmas to you sir. Hope all is well. Life is brutal but we gotta plow ahead anyway. 

[YOTH]

1 hour ago, Victimorthecrime said:

@YOTH how ya doin?  Merry Christmas to you sir. Hope all is well. Life is brutal but we gotta plow ahead anyway. 

I'm good, Vic. Had a good day, the kids got everything they asked for, my eldest got more this year than I accumulated from every Christmas I ever had ha. Bought him the PSVR which is awesome and he got a new Ep Les Paul guitar and an ipad so he's happy. And as whatever is his is mine I got those things too lol. How has your Christmas been?

[Victimorthecrime]

Can’t complain. It’s been super quiet which is welcome. I got a great nap for is rare for a weekday.  It’s a short workweek followed by another holiday so that’s another plus.  Just need to get my lagging winter energy up a bit to deal w some procrastinations and I’ll be all set.  

[JOHNSON CAMPBELL]

tl;dr: He needs therapy. This is because (I have 4.4" girth myself, which is potentially an issue in a relationship) you (his sexual partner) report that you are happy with his size. This is not a rational reaction by your husband. Why would I care about my girth if my sexual partner is reporting that she is happy about my girth? Politely ask him to seek professional help. Or, and this is another interpretation, he is CHEATING on you and his other sexual partners aren't happy with his size. All the other options are irrational and he needs help, period.

[Wayless]

15 minutes ago, JOHNSON CAMPBELL said:

tl;dr: He needs therapy. This is because (I have 4.4" girth myself, which is potentially an issue in a relationship) you (his sexual partner) report that you are happy with his size. This is not a rational reaction by your husband. Why would I care about my girth if my sexual partner is reporting that she is happy about my girth? Politely ask him to seek professional help. Or, and this is another interpretation, he is CHEATING on you and his other sexual partners aren't happy with his size. All the other options are irrational and he needs help, period.

Maybe I should re-read the OP's posts before commenting, but reporting "you are happy with his size" is not very reassuring to a man.  The man needs honest discussion of the woman's orgasmic experiences with him.  Is she having orgasm from penetration or just from oral or manual clitoral stimulation?  Is penetrative orgasm possible for her?  Etc.

[JOHNSON CAMPBELL]

Just now, uptight outasight said:

Maybe I should re-read the OP's posts before commenting, but reporting "you are happy with his size" is not very reassuring to a man.  The man needs honest discussion of the woman's orgasmic experiences with him.  Is she having orgasm from penetration or just from oral or manual clitoral stimulation?  Is penetrative orgasm possible for her?  Etc.

This is an interesting point. However, if your partner is telling you that "I am happy with your size," that means she is happy with it unless she is a liar. As for orgasmic experiences, it is true that if she is only verbally reporting satisfaction without the associated experiences, then she is lying or she herself does not know what an orgasm is (which could be even more detrimental to her husband's mental stability). As for having orgasms only through oral or manual clitoral stimulation: all I can say is that I myself would not view this as a problem provided that she genuinely reports being satisfied. Specifically for penetrative orgasm: we must ask her if she ever had penetrative orgasm (maybe she did). But we can also ask: why is the husband specifically worried about her having penetrative orgasm when she reports being satisfied (even if that satisfaction is, most of the time, coming from other types of orgasms)? Maybe the lady does not really prefer the penetrative orgasm in the first place.

[Wayless]

13 minutes ago, JOHNSON CAMPBELL said:

This is an interesting point. However, if your partner is telling you that "I am happy with your size," that means she is happy with it unless she is a liar. As for orgasmic experiences, it is true that if she is only verbally reporting satisfaction without the associated experiences, then she is lying or she herself does not know what an orgasm is (which could be even more detrimental to her husband's mental stability). As for having orgasms only through oral or manual clitoral stimulation: all I can say is that I myself would not view this as a problem provided that she genuinely reports being satisfied. Specifically for penetrative orgasm: we must ask her if she ever had penetrative orgasm (maybe she did). But we can also ask: why is the husband specifically worried about her having penetrative orgasm when she reports being satisfied (even if that satisfaction is, most of the time, coming from other types of orgasms)? Maybe the lady does not really prefer the penetrative orgasm in the first place.

Lying vs rationalization is often not easy for either partner to distinguish.  An experienced woman might lie, thinking men are hopelessly sensitive.  Inexperienced women might be confused themselves.  The woman might feel sex shouldn't be all that central to the relationship or the opposite!

[JOHNSON CAMPBELL]

15 hours ago, uptight outasight said:

Lying vs rationalization is often not easy for either partner to distinguish.  An experienced woman might lie, thinking men are hopelessly sensitive.  Inexperienced women might be confused themselves.  The woman might feel sex shouldn't be all that central to the relationship or the opposite!

I can see your point. But if your partner is lying about enjoying your penis size, then the only way to know that she is lying is by observing her behaviour. Is she orgasming? Or pretending to be orgasming? Well, these are tough questions. All the guy needs to do is ask her to be completely honest with him. If she still lies because she thinks that the truth might hurt his feelings, then, there is nothing the guy can do. How can you ever know if someone is lying if you cannot tell from their behaviour or from some logical inconsistency? The only way to know is to ask her verbally "Can you be completely honest about our sexual encounters? Do you enjoy them? Do you find my size adequate?" These are very easy questions to ask and most women would be honest in their answers. But they would say something like this "You are on the small side and, yes, I don't usually get vaginal orgasms but you are more than just a penis for me." Also, if she was not happy with his size and she really cared about having an average or a big dick, she would leave him. Obviously, she has better reasons to stay than leave. Sex is only one of the dimensions that could determine happiness in a relationship. And also since I have become a member of this community, I observed that size does not really correlate with Small Penis Syndrome (as a psychological response) beyond some threshold. This is because there are people on here who have 5.75" and even 6.0" but still suffer from SPS. Some of these guys with above average dicks might have below average girth (which might be contributing to their SPS). Still, there are people with 6.0" x 5.2" who suffer from SPS. 6 inch and 5.2 girth is an above average dick, so size doesn't really explain their SPS.

If you have a Micropenis, then you cannot expect the woman to enjoy your sexual encounters. I don't know where the threshold is. Is it 4" or 4.5" inches when it really becomes quite unenjoyable for women? But should you expect them to be able to enjoy your penis? I would say if you have below 4" girth then you can start worrying about her lying. So, we have to decide on where the threshold is. But it might not be a threshold but a continuum. Some women actually do report preferring below average penis.

[Wayless]

Micropenis is defined, I believe, a 2.75" erect.

[CircusLeavesTown]

Hello Sheepish,

New here, but I've spent hours upon hours looking at forums and articles over the years regarding to women's opinion on size and I have to say, I think you might be the most kind and understanding woman I've ever come across on any of them. I totally disagree with the advice that the two of you should separate. If I ever have a relationship, and I somehow came across these posts from her on a forum like this, I'd be so overwhelmingly joyful that it's hard to put into words. I can see how much you love him and it genuinely touched me on a deep level. You've given me hope, actually. So thank you. I honestly see a happy ending here. In your own time, in your own way, tell him the things you said about him on here. I'd even consider showing this thread to him but I 100% see why you wouldn't want to as well.

All the best to you

 

[Under5]

My wife and I talk openly about my size and her pleasure.  She primarily orgasms from clitoral stimulation but really enjoys penetration when experiencing a clitoral orgasm.  She is tall with a long body and we discovered over the years that she is capable of a different type of orgasm from deep penetration.  Rather than being depressed about it, I encouraged that we use a sleeve that adds length and girth.  When we use a sleeve, I can last as long as we want, I get to play around with deep and short thrusts and can enjoy the visuals.  
 

We do all different types of sexual encounters because we are both very open about my size and her interests.  She is very honest, giving, fun, and without pretense.  I have a great sex life with her.

[Wayless]

16 hours ago, Under5 said:

My wife and I talk openly about my size and her pleasure.  She primarily orgasms from clitoral stimulation but really enjoys penetration when experiencing a clitoral orgasm.  She is tall with a long body and we discovered over the years that she is capable of a different type of orgasm from deep penetration.  Rather than being depressed about it, I encouraged that we use a sleeve that adds length and girth.  When we use a sleeve, I can last as long as we want, I get to play around with deep and short thrusts and can enjoy the visuals.  
 

We do all different types of sexual encounters because we are both very open about my size and her interests.  She is very honest, giving, fun, and without pretense.  I have a great sex life with her.

I wish my wife and I could have achieved that type of intimacy. 

Our experiment with toys exposed prior lies, causing too much conflict and disillusionment. 

It invalidated our existing relationship which was exposed as delusional as far as sex went.

[Victimorthecrime]

@uptight outasight but you’ve moved on and are basically happy right? 

[Wayless]

4 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said:

@uptight outasight but you’ve moved on and are basically happy right? 

No, we, especially me, just got old.  I actually feel better without sex.  Frustrating and anxiety inducing.