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When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

A children's catechism class was learning the Apostles Creed.

Each child had been assigned a sentence to repeat.

The first one said, "I believe in God the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth."

The second child said, "I believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son.

"When he had completed his sentence, there was an embarrassing silence.

Finally, one child piped up, "Teacher, the boy who believes in the Holy Spirit isn't here."

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I just got lost in thought, and it was unfamiliar territory

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?

Do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

Schizophrenia beats being alone.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called?

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It is easier to write an incorrect program than understand a correct one.

There were computers in Biblical times. Eve had an Apple.

WINDOWS stands for Will Install Needless Data On Whole System.

You don't have to know how the computer works, just how to work the computer.

You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.

The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH'.

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"No matter how little money & how few possessions, you own, having a dog makes you rich."

I had been a Preschool teacher over 20 years, so here are some of my favorites Quotes.

"Sacrifice is the price of gain"

"Be one with your students only in truth"

"To see yourself in a different light, look through someone else's eyes"

"knowledge is never a substitue for experience"

"Before you act, ask, What do I know?"

"There are teachers and then there is everyone else"

"The first time you feed a wild animal it will run away"

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Utility is when you have one telephone,

luxury is when you have two,

and paradise is when you have none.

If love was a raindrop I would send you a shower

If hope was a minute I would send you an hour

If happiness was a leaf I would send you a tree

If you need a friend you will always have me!

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"

"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms?"

Opportunity is a bald man with a beard: You can catch him coming, but you can' t catch him going.

People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. There is much chaos in this world because things are being loved and people are being used.

A careless word may kindle strife.

A cruel word may wreck a life.

A timely word may level stress.

A loving word may heal and bless.

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"The average dog is nicer then the average person"

"If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either"

"the more people I meet the more I like my dog" :)

"When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day long"

"I think dogs are the amazing creatures, they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive."

"The err is human: to forgive, Canine"

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