Jutias Posted October 22, 2009 Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 >> I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?">> It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.>> "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.>> So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?">> And that's when the fight started.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jutias Posted October 22, 2009 Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 >> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed >> the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to >> the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind >> was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the >> radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back >> into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled >> up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, >> 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, >> 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?' And that's >> when the fight started ...More Later Iffin you wantMike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jutias Posted October 22, 2009 Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY>>>>>> Have you ever wondered if the one dollar bills>>> In your wallet were ever in a stripper's butt crack?>>> If not, you're wondering now. Have a nice day ..>>>>>>>>> So folks, always remember to wash your hands after handling money>>>Couldn't resist one moreMike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Rutledge Posted October 24, 2009 Report Share Posted October 24, 2009 (edited) deleted... Edited October 27, 2009 by John Rutledge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted October 24, 2009 Report Share Posted October 24, 2009 Always try to be modest, and proud of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetliner Posted October 29, 2009 Report Share Posted October 29, 2009 (edited) .......... Edited November 1, 2010 by Jetliner .......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicolec Posted November 5, 2009 Report Share Posted November 5, 2009 (edited) ............... Edited August 17, 2010 by Nicolec Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicolec Posted November 5, 2009 Report Share Posted November 5, 2009 (edited) ............ Edited August 17, 2010 by Nicolec Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetliner Posted November 5, 2009 Report Share Posted November 5, 2009 (edited) .......... Edited November 1, 2010 by Jetliner .......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicolec Posted November 5, 2009 Report Share Posted November 5, 2009 (edited) ........... Edited August 17, 2010 by Nicolec Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicolec Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 (edited) ........... Edited August 17, 2010 by Nicolec Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jutias Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 Money doesn't bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places. Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jutias Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 Why do blondes like lightning...they think someone is taking their picture.How did the blonde burn her nose...bobbing for French fries.How did the blonde die drinking milk...the cow stepped on her.Sorry.......my wife is blond so its ok....I guess....well maybe notMike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jutias Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 Two old men decide they are close totheir last days and decide to have alast night on the town.After a few drinks, they end up at thelocal brothelthe madam takes one look at the twoold geezers and whispers to her manager,'go up to the first two bedrooms and putan inflated doll in each bed.These two are so old and drunk, i'm notwasting two of my girls on them. Theywon't know the difference.'the manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business. As they are walking home the first man says,'you know, i think my girl was dead!''dead?' says his friend, 'why do you say that?''well, she never moved or made a sound all the time i was loving her.' his friend says, 'could be worse i think mine was a witch.''a witch ??. . Why the hell would you say that?' 'well, i was making love to her, kissing her on the neck, and i gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window..... Took my teeth with her!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted November 19, 2009 Report Share Posted November 19, 2009 Definition of technologically challenged:Thinks "peer-to-peer networking" is two guys chatting at the urinals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacyjay87 Posted November 19, 2009 Report Share Posted November 19, 2009 Definition of technologically challenged:Thinks "peer-to-peer networking" is two guys chatting at the urinals.This made me crack up LOL!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 (edited) done........ Edited June 11, 2010 by Amanda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Yet the unintended rhyme was completely sublime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Rutledge Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 In a British House of Commons Committe yesterday, discussing possible questions to be included in the next UK census, the issue as to whether a question should be included as to the sexual orientation of respendents. A Conservative Member of Parliament objected - "Should gay people not be left with their own privacy ? I, certainly would expect that, should I ask a person's doctor what their sexual orientation might be, I would be told to bugger off - sorry, I should have been said, would have been told to go away ...". Er ... he certainly meant well ...Best regards, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetliner Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 (edited) .......... Edited November 1, 2010 by Jetliner .......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 Courage isnt always a loud roar, sometimes its a small voice at the end of the day that whispers, I will try again tomorrow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danni Posted December 16, 2009 Report Share Posted December 16, 2009 Ok...so this is a series of one liners A co-worker sent it to me this morning after we finished "the meeting from HELL..." I laughed right out loud while sitting alone in my office. Random Thoughts of the Day: 1) Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.2) I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.3) There is a great need for a sarcasm font.4) How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?5) I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.6) MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.7) I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.8) Bad decisions make good stories9) You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.10) I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.11) I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?12) I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.13) As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.14) I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.15) I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetliner Posted December 17, 2009 Report Share Posted December 17, 2009 (edited) .......... Edited November 1, 2010 by Jetliner .......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted December 17, 2009 Report Share Posted December 17, 2009 Didnt know it was someones signature (ooops) guess it shows how observant I am Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ilook@allthelonelypeople Posted December 18, 2009 Report Share Posted December 18, 2009 Q. Why don't blind people skydive? A. Because it scares the dog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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