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ED lingering thoughts


nightfalls
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Hi there nightfalls,

I am sorry you are struggling with these difficult issues. imo, what you have described is eating disordered thinking and thoughts. There is not doubt in my own personal experiences with anorexia and bulimia that whay you are going through is very typical of a ED individual.

I am expressing my concerns of what you have shared with us, and understand what your dealing with. This will not go away or become any easier until you can learn new ways of thinking and feeling about food and body image. This goes deeper then just how much you weigh and how much to eat.

Often times it is about control and a sense of losing the control one desires in life at all times. As well as deeper issues of unresolved pain , abuse, loss of idenity, fear of growing up, wanting to be cared for, turning back the clock, wanting to disappear, depression, anger, goodness the list can go on forever.

What I also read in your post was that you have not had any professional assistance . This is very important. Most people who have a ED at first do not feel like there's are not severe enough to worry about getting help, and feel like they are completely under control of it. That is a misconception.

I urge you to seek out a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. Someone to talk to and offer you support is the first step. I know it is going to be very hard to do because it will be like having to admit there is a problem. ED is all about self control, and NOT wanting the help needed to get better.

your life is much more then just food, weight, calories, clothes, and numbers. Soon if not already, this is what happens, to a ED individual, there lives are taken over by the Eating Disorder.

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