I need help

[cody17]

I need help asap as I'm in fear of my life.

A little background information. I'm a 16 year old male and have dealt with mental disorders my entire teenage life. I had an eating disorder develop when I was 11/12 years old because of childhood bullying, the eating disorder was Anorexia Nervosa. From that stemmed a lot of new mental disorders, and I was diagnosed with a lot of different forms of depression at the same time. I lied to myself and others that I was better and I was released.

Years later it's finally caught up to me again, and this time in full force. I had successfully lied to myself for years that I didn't have mental problems, and now I realize I do. Last week (friday) i took a hit of ecstasy alone in my room. I had a "bad trip". It unlocked too many barriers I had hidden away in my mind that I didn't know about because I had successfully lied to myself. It's been a week and I can't sleep. I have major insomnia at nights, I get anxious and I get worked up by my own thoughts, I develop thoeries on what life really is in my mind, and I get paranoid of dieing, and I try hard to slkeep but it never happens. It goes away after I sleep, and the whole day I'll be pretty much fine, it's only when night time hits that it happens all over again.

I'm postive it's not the drug. I went to the emergency room twice now, and each time they can't do shit all for me because they just think I'm some kid on drugs, thewy're not seeing PAST what this drug actually did to my mind. It was the drug at first, yes, but the drug unlocked doors in my mind that I've had for years, I have been sick for years and only just realized it onceI took the drug.

This site is my last resort, because I can't turn anywhere for help, because everyone keeps telling me its this fucking drug and i know goddamn well its not this drug because I'm losing my mind. I havn't been to school in days because I can't sleep until the sun rises each day. I tried to fix this sleeping pattern by not sleeping one night, it made everything 10x worse because i was still not ableto sleep that night, ended up having 2 hours total sleep in the 2/3 days so I'm actually physically sick now, my immune system was weakened and I got the flu, and now I'm scared I won't be able to recover because of my lack of sleep, and it's making the anxiety 10x worse.

You have to believe thios post as 100% truth, and you have to realize this isn't a drug, i can't stress this enough, my life is literally depending on this.

symptoms:

-insomnia

-anxiety

-panic

-irritablity (getting worse, if im trying to sleep and if i hear my dog move an inch it completely ruins it and i get extremely angry/frustrated)

-nightmares (ive never had nightmares for years, so this is making it a lot worse)

-physically sick/weak

theres more but it's 3:44am and i still can't sleep and im irritated right now as i type this, i need help, please someone help me

[paula]

Hi Cody & welcome to our community.

First off, You have posted in the wrong post. You should of posted in the "NEW MEMBERS POST" So I don't know how this is going to affect your post? If by some reason you come & check for any reply's for your post & it's not here, then look in the new members post.

I'm postive it's not the drug. I went to the emergency room twice now, and each time they can't do shit all for me because they just think I'm some kid on drugs, thewy're not seeing PAST what this drug actually did to my mind. It was the drug at first, yes, but the drug unlocked doors in my mind that I've had for years, I have been sick for years and only just realized it onceI took the drug.

This site is my last resort, because I can't turn anywhere for help, because everyone keeps telling me its this fucking drug and i know goddamn well its not this drug because I'm losing my mind. I havn't been to school in days because I can't sleep until the sun rises each day. I tried to fix this sleeping pattern by not sleeping one night, it made everything 10x worse because i was still not ableto sleep that night, ended up having 2 hours total sleep in the 2/3 days so I'm actually physically sick now, my immune system was weakened and I got the flu, and now I'm scared I won't be able to recover because of my lack of sleep, and it's making the anxiety 10x worse.

You have to believe thios post as 100% truth, and you have to realize this isn't a drug, i can't stress this enough, my life is literally depending on this.

Calm down! I don't think it is the drug either! The drug wouldn't carry the effects for this long anyway!

The best thing to do is: Make an appointment to see your doctor and tell him you want referring to see a Psychiatrist. Explain to him about your Anxiety & Insomnia. Be clean with him.

I understand what you are going through as I too suffer from Manic Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia & the rest of it!

If you find no joy with your doctor, then go to your nearest A&E & tell them that your Suicidal & need help like yesterday!

The thing is that apart from a hospital, you have to be referred to a Psychiatrist from your own doctor.

B-R-E-A-T-H!

Good luck & please keep posting!

[pokets]

Hi Cody...

One thing is that it is good u realise u need help, now its up to u to go out and get it, can u go to ur gp and explain how things are so difficult for u at the moment and that ur scared of what u may do. But as Paula said u can go to ur a&e department and tell them ur suicidal and feel unsafe.

I wish all the best for u and hope u get the help u need

Take care

Jo

[mscat]

Hi Cody,

Sorry things are so difficult for you right now . Lack of sleep only makes things even more harder to deal with. Try exercising and focusing on that right before you lay down, wear yourself out, exhaust yourself, and get all the energy out ! See if this will help you relax enough so you can sleep. Then go back to school, and talk to a counselor.

You know yourself better then anybody else and what you are feeling is real to you. It will best to talk to someone you can trust, a professional who can help you and will believe you.

Just let the counselor know it was a one time deal and the drugs is not the problems you are experiencing in your life anymore. Do not let them dismiss you as a teenaged kid with a drug problem if that is not you.