I think I am close to the end of my rope

[wlkngwnded]

I have been trying to get myself back on my feet in the mental sense time and time again but pressure from my wife, work and elsewhere have me backed into a corner. I honestly know of no one in my life who actually calls just to see how I am doing. Everyone either needs something from me or tries to control me. I am either a favor giver or a bank.

I have sorted through every possible scenario on how to get out of this funk that has brought me closer and closer to ending it all. I am not just posturing here. I have no more energy to fight this. I have been battling this for so long and it is like I am on a treadmill that will not let me off and seeks to go faster and faster.

I cannot talk to my wife about my problems because 1) she is one of them and 2) when i try she talks over me and wants to talk about every little thing going on in her life or picks apart what i should be doing in mine.

My so-called friends just look to me to be the source of entertainment and not be a downer.

[jennifer]

It is obvious that you are overwhelmed and stressed out.And the mind does not think straight when it is like that.To me, it sounds like you need to stand up for yourself and come clean with your feelings and thoughts on life...your life. I know that the responsibilities in life can be consumming, and it feels like you are living for everybody and else, with nothing returned. When I get depressed, I turn inward, where I notice with my spouse, who is struggling with a drug addiction, when he is overwhelmed, he becomes the worst to be around, he went through a couple of months blaming me for everything in life... he was resentful, for he believed that he was feeling this way because of my expectations of him,he did not want to be around our kids or family because they stressed him out. He was taking off everynight, not coming home for hours. I understood his pain, and everyone deals with it differently, but blaming others for your problems, that hurts everyone. He was planning on leaving us, to escape the responsibilities in life, so that he could feel a release.Fortunately, he has others around him, including counselors, who he can talk to about how to handle life. Communication....especially with your wife,who is probally stressed herself about you,should help. We all have a story to tell.And it seems like the people around you care, they just are having trouble understanding. Give yourself some love and respect...and go talk to somebody.

[Natalie]

I have been trying to get myself back on my feet in the mental sense time and time again but pressure from my wife, work and elsewhere have me backed into a corner. I honestly know of no one in my life who actually calls just to see how I am doing. Everyone either needs something from me or tries to control me. I am either a favor giver or a bank.

I have sorted through every possible scenario on how to get out of this funk that has brought me closer and closer to ending it all. I am not just posturing here. I have no more energy to fight this. I have been battling this for so long and it is like I am on a treadmill that will not let me off and seeks to go faster and faster.

I cannot talk to my wife about my problems because 1) she is one of them and 2) when i try she talks over me and wants to talk about every little thing going on in her life or picks apart what i should be doing in mine.

My so-called friends just look to me to be the source of entertainment and not be a downer.

[iIt's also important to be assertive and tell people how they can help. People often truly care about you, but are clueless about what to do. They are worried about offending you, or offering too much, too little, etc, etc. Admit you need some support, and then, as best you can, describe what type of support you need from whom. Some people may be better at listening, while others may be better at other tasks. It's not easy to do this, but I encourage you to give it a try.

[Lalu22]

I really understand the feelings you express. If you are feeling so badly you are beginning to believe life is not worth living, if you haven't yet sought professional help, maybe it's time. Relationships can be so difficult and sometimes an outside, informed perspective can help.

Exercise has proven mood-lifting effects. Some people benefit from antidepressants, too.

In my case, I have tried many of them in different dosages and combinations and they didn't work, but I gave it a try. After years of different psychotherapies, I now know I have an ego state disorder and have an internal battle going on that I wasn't fully aware of - well, I'm not fully aware even now, but I have an understanding of what's going on and that gives me hope.