AndreaB Posted May 6, 2009 Report Share Posted May 6, 2009 does anyone else feel like they just dislike who they are? I try to be other people because for some reason I don't like who I am. Before the depression I don't remeber feeling like this at all. It's sad that I feel like this I'm 24 and I dislike myself. It's hard to look in the mirror. The only thing that makes me feel attractive is new clothes and when I get my hair done, It's a battle with myself. I would do anything to be someone else. I also dislike other people who seem happy...I think to myself why am I sad and their happy? It's not fair to me, I know it's my illness talking but I can't stop the harsh thoughts it's hard at times and I think badly bout myself everyday...I don't know it's just to much sometimes:(:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karai Posted May 6, 2009 Report Share Posted May 6, 2009 (edited) Hi AndreaB,I think I qualify. I've had decades of self hate and can't remember when I ever was happy. Looking back, the closest I've come, if I remember correctly, was in college for maybe a couple of years! I don't recall ever wanting to be someone else, but I know I wanted to just not exist. When I see happy people, I think they are just faking it, that there truly are no happy people in this world, except for idiots. I didn't know I was suffering from depression either until some smart person (my chiropractor) recognized it in me. Well, to make a long and boring story short, I finally am getting the help I need. I have only just started therapy but I feel hopeful. I want to see the world in a whole new perspective; I don't know how yet, but, like I said, I am hopeful. I think I've wasted enough years feeling bad; it's like I'm just waking up. I think you should seek help too, if you haven't as yet. You're too young to give up. Don't waste your best years in a gray, dark world like I did. Take care and I pray you will one day soon love that great person that you are. Edited May 6, 2009 by karai Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 6, 2009 Report Share Posted May 6, 2009 Hi, I'd agree with Karai, I don't think there are truly happy people, maybe they are just unaware. That's what I think. I don't think they exactly fake happy, they just choose to ignore the world around them. They are probably extremely self-centered. You know, kind of like ignorance is bliss. Andrea, I hope you feel better about yourself. Maybe you could start using your mantra again, "I am beautiful", you deserve to feel beautiful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndreaB Posted May 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2009 thank you, you both put a smile on my face. I am seeking help and it does help with the suicidal thoughts I have. My self-esteem is just low. I will try say to myself I am beauitful:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted May 6, 2009 Report Share Posted May 6, 2009 Hi AndreaB and everyone,I wouldn't say that there are no happy people but I would say that no one is happy all of the time. In fact, I think we all go in cycles from happy, angry, deperssed, anxious, balanced and back to happy. Some stay at one level more than others and some can get stuck at depressed or angry for too long. The idea is to not get stuck at depressed but be able to move onward.What do you think???Allan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndreaB Posted May 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 7, 2009 I believe people are happy at times, but I also believe people with depression or other mental illnesses have to try harder than everyone else to be happy:mad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mscat Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 I believe people are happy at times, but I also believe people with depression or other mental illnesses have to try harder than everyone else to be happy:mad: Hi Andrea,I too go through days where it is sheer torture> A bottomless pit of emptiness that never goes away. Medications, therapy helps to stabilze the moods though, and find balance. Don't let other people's behavior, moods affect the way you are, and want to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndreaB Posted May 8, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 thanks I've had an ok day today:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karai Posted May 9, 2009 Report Share Posted May 9, 2009 Dear Allan,I guess I'm one of those that stay at depressed and am not able to move onward. I guess that's why us unhappy people are in therapy. I've been able to peek out of my dark hole maybe a couple of times since starting therapy last month, but I guess I still don't have the skills or the mindset to crawl out even halfway yet. Sometimes I think this happiness thing is over-rated because, unfortunately, when you're up there, there's only one direction to go--DOWN!!! I wish I could see my therapist everyday so I can "get happy" faster, but his schedule, my schedule, the insurance co. and my being able to afford it, prevents this. I know I'm becoming dependent on him for feeling good. This gives me even bigger fears, not only because of this attachment, but also because he is semi-retired! I dread the day that he actually retires. PANIC BIG TIME!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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