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Feel Stuck


concrete_angel
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I really feel the effects of the anxiety... I feel so much on edge that I find my self wanting to hurt my self.. The thoughts of driving my car into traffic or just taking the whole medical cabinet. I know that they will pass. But for me, when I get this way.. I start to blank out.. It's when I know that I'm in a panic that I have the urge to run.. Run as far away from things as possible. The need to hide and never come out..But this is different.. It's like a anger.. A deep anger and I can't stop these thought.

The feeling of hurting my self to the point of death has been happening to me for about 4 months this now. I'm able to control the anxiety mostly on a daily basic, but it is when I get to the point that I'm at right now that scare me the most.

I fear that if I do blank out, then what will happen to me and others. I get some time so much on edge, like I have been the last 22 hours that I want to throw stuff also.. It's like my mind is going crazy and I need some thing to release my anxiety.

I have very few friends that are there for me in my time of need and I find that I don't want to put more on my dear husband then I should. He is my every thing... I just wonder how much can a man take... How much can a man deal with seeing some one so depressed, anxious and etc??? Tell me, for I would love to know. I only have my husband to give me the support I need... I love him so much and don't want to put more on him then he can bear. CA

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