Lalu22 Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 I have a situation that I can't let go of. I'll try to keep this as brief as possible, but it is complicated. I have been in therapy for years, am a recovering alcoholic as is my husband, and determined last year that my relationship with H was holding back my progress in T. H has a mild traumatic brain injury and my T had previously identified that as an issue in some of our problems. He suggested a neuropsychologist for him. He went for several months before saying he'd learned all he could. We also saw a marriage counselor for two or three years. Not much progress. Last year my T diagnosed me with a dissociative disorder and we started doing EMDR. I began experiencing extreme anxiety, sleep difficulties, etc. as part of the process of doing the internal work, and my relationship with H was definitely destabilized. T's partner, senior in the practice, is an expert in trauma and dissociative disorders and he agreed to see my H and me for relationship stuff. H is primary and his insurance is billed. So we signed releases so the two docs could consult. Here is my issue. This guy is an egomaniac. He is published and cited in the literature and a professor. He is chronically late - has kept us waiting for 40 minutes more than once and 20 - 30 minutes is probably the norm. He said that is the cost of having a late afternoon appointment (H doesn't want to leave work during the day), that the accumulated latenesses of the day build up. I think it shows disrespect for clients and incompetence in his timekeeping responsibilities.Last December both H and T were late and I sat in the unstaffed waiting room for over 1/2 hour. H had been late a previous appointment and cooled his jets while T and I met for at least 20 minutes until I suggested we check for him. Then the 3 of us met for 5 - 10 minutes and H's insurance was billed. T said in future if either of us was late, just to come back unescorted to his office. The appointment in December was the last time I went to this doc. My H had gotten distracted at work and when we got in touch with him by phone, T noted the time (about 5 minutes after T had been available for the appointment, i.e. 40 minutes after the scheduled time) and said we could not meet and he would bill the full undiscounted rate for a missed appointment ("no show"). I think this is outrageous. Since insurance was not billed and I was there, he should have met with me and kept the focus on relationship issues with my H, his primary client. H works 10 minutes away and he could have gotten there, late, but in time for a good chunk of the session. Then insurance could have been billed. As it stood, we got no services and I paid full price for the privilege of sitting in the waiting room for over 1/2 hour. It was T's decision to dismiss me and bill. I have all kinds of rejection and abandonment issues and I promptly dissociated. (My mom used to get me to confide in her, then use it against me and tell me I was nothing, cf a "no show.") I wasn't quite sure how I got home. That night I hallucinated a voice saying "Nobody is ever going to help you" and experienced flashbacks. After getting the bill I asked my H to ask his T to reconsider. T said no, it was his policy, I wasn't the patient, etc. but I could call him to try to change his mind. I wrote a letter and the only response was for him to collect the $135 from my H at his next appointment.At that point I found the man so triggering I discussed the situation with my T and asked for a no contact boundary to keep down my fear level in the office. A few weeks later the great man saw me in the waiting room and apologized (perfunctorily) for not responding, saying he could get back to me in whatever way I wanted. It was all I could do to look at him and say I wanted nothing from him. I was shaking. T later said he hadn't succeeded in communicating the exact nature of my desire for no contact to his partner.Now I am wondering if I should report him to the licensing board. I understand the reactive nature of my response to his behavior, but I still think what he did was grossly unfair, unprofessional, and even dangerous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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