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Anticipatory Grief


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Hi. By summer's end, my wife will have moved out after 15 years together and two beautiful daughters. It's amicable enough ... we are friends who just grew apart after not having too tremendous a spark to begin with.

While I'm fairly at peace with our decision, I'm anticipating what feels like a hammer we are about to swing down on the neat, orderly house of cards our daughters (10 and almost 8) live in. Since mommy and daddy don't fight and we do do a lot of family things together ... there won't be any sense of relief from hostility or anything like that. I doubt they've noticed too much that we haven't have any public (or private ...for that matter!) displays of affection for a good couple of years.

I've got some anticipatory grief over this. We will, I believe, work this together in as amicable a way possible. Yet I can't stand the thought of how hurt our girls are going to be. Totally crushes me, even though our separating (with little to no anticipation of avoiding divorce ... having been in therapy a long while already) is ultimately in their best interest too.

Any thoughts on how I can stay focused these days while my heart for my children is slowly, steadily tearing under anticipatory grief?

Thanks for listening/reading.

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