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Minimum sexual 'requirments' ?


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This is a subject that interests me quite often.

I've been a recluse or withdrawn now for all of my adult life and a good portion of my teens. There has been very little outlet for my sexuality over the years, in total I have less that an hours worth of experience and I'm 32. I've never actually had 'proper' sexual intercourse either so I don't know what it's like to climax with somebody.

Is there a 'minimum requirment' for someones sexuality to mature, does it 'consolidate' by a certain age or level of experience? I'm asking because my sexuality is all over the place, i'm finding all sorts of woman attractive. It's very frustrating.

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I need a little clarification to answer your question. Do you mean, if you don't have intercourse by a certain age, will you lose the ability to do so? The answer is no.

If you are worried about being too old to learn different types of sexual behaviors, that is also not true. You can learn to experience pleasure in all sorts of different ways across your lifetime.

Can you help me a bit more so I can better address your concerns?

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You seem very reluctant to specify what types of women you are referring to, because of shame? embarrassment? I know it's hard to discuss sexual issues- most of us feel uncomfortable with these topics. But, I am still left wondering, why are these women individuals that you should not be attracted to?

Also, what sorts of issues have prevented you from entering into a stable relationship? Do you notice particular patterns? Have you been in relationships that failed for different reasons? Or, do you have trouble initiating them in the first place?

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Guest ASchwartz

Have you tried or thought about trying psychotherapy?

Also, what about your self do you find ugly? Usually BDD involves one specific physical characterstic but it seems as though you find everything about yourself to be ugly.


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Hi Allan :)

There are so many reasons why i think i'm ugly, some of them are related to how i see myself physically, some are about how i feel i'm regarded by others, I also perceive a lot of avoidant behaviour from people and think i hear people ridiculing me and laughing/sneering at me. I like to believe that I have BDD and that i'm imagining all of this but i'm not sure. i hope so.

I've been thinking like this now for 18 years. it's very ingrained.

I've requested some therapy and I've been refered to the local Cognitive Behaviour Psycotherapy Unit, I'll be seeing them in June. They've sent me some pychometrics to fill out for now.

P.S. according to a book 'the broken mirror' the typical bdd sufferer will have several preoccupations with thier appearance

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Ok ok ...

let me put it another way. I've heard of the term 'sexual needs', I guess what I want to know is this, do we have sexual NEEDS or do we just have WANTS ? and what might 'typically' happen to a persons thinking, feelings or beliefs if those needs or wants are not met? how do you think that you would be affected if you didn't have a sex life?

xaq :D

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  • 2 weeks later...

If anyone reading this is a nun I'd like to hear from you. How do you feel you have been affected by a celibate lifestyle? ... is it voluntary ? ... what meaning do you assign to recreational sexual behaviour ?

Monks too if your out there! ... and even if your just one of the more typical readers who havn't decided to dedicate your entire way of life to a biblical routine.

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