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giving up


AndreaB
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I want to give up so badly. I can't fight this depression anymore. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted. I just can't do it. I want to stop taking my meds and going to therapy I'm so close to giving up but at the same time I know I can't I have to keep going no matter what. I just can't seem to cope no matter how much talking or writing or thinking I do so much pain in my head and it's my voice saying horrible things about myself. I pray but that doesn't always help I cry scream eat cut all that and none of that helps. I'm at the end of my rope lord what am I going to do? How do I survive another day in pain?:)

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Andrea, first, let me say "thank you." Thank you for being there for ME when I was in this same spot! Thank you for caring enough to encourage me on when I felt I couldn't take another step. Now, let me repay you. Let me encourage you and support you. (((HUGS)))

I know that there is nothing that I can say which will make you think differently, feel differently, see differently. But, I also know that, when the pain is so great we feel all we can do is give up, we fail to see any good on our own. You, my friend, are a wonderful listener and have great wisdom and strength. I pray on your behalf that you dig deep down, find that wisdom and cling to it. You are insightful and caring and loving and I pray on your behalf that you look deep inside yourself and see what others love about you so that you can love yourself enough to take the coming days moment by moment.

When we are depressed and discouraged, even when we pray, we struggle. We don't remember "how" to pray or what to ask for. All we know is that we want to be rid of the pain! Remember that God is STILL the Great Physician. God is STILL in control. We often struggle with being "out of control" when, in reality, the only way God can be IN control is when we are OUT of it! You know, as I write this and pray for you, a video I saw recently comes to mind. I think it is very fitting for you and I hope you are encouraged by it as much as I was! (BTW, I love the line where the guy says "God, I have let you down so many times" and God replies "It is I who holds YOU up not the other way around!")

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXut0HxncvY

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Hi Andrea B

As you will have noticed, I too felt as bad as you are, but... am feeling much better than of late! I was one step & on the verge of ending it all! I came inches away from meeting up with Death! Like my signature picture states, waiting for death!

You have to fight this Andrea! You was put on this earth for a reason and maybe one day, I may have to swallow my words, but for now... live for today, as you don't know what tomorrow may bring!

'Don't let yesterday use up to much of today... You can't change the past, so don't ruin the present by worrying about the future!'

Life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so... love the people who treat you right... forget about the ones who don't... believe that everything happens for a reason... If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life, then let it... Nobody said it'd be easy, they just promised it'd be worth it...

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Andrea,

If you are feeling so very bad that you could be in danger of harming yourself then it is time to either go to the hospital emergency room and check yourself in or call 911 and let them know that you are suicidal. I know this idea never sounds wonferful but we would rather have you safe and getting better in the hospital than risk losing you. Yes, in the hospital there are thing they can do to help because it is a safe environment.

Allan (worried)

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thank you all for such the kinds word of support and love. Thank you proverbs for the prayer it helped me because now I know someone really does care and wants me to get better. Thank you paula for saying I should live everyday and that I shouldn't let the depression get me down. Amanda thank you for your wonderful words. Proverbs you're right when I feel out of control I do forget how to pray but I have to remeber that God is in control and he holds me together. THANK YOU ALL ONCE AGAIN!!!!Allan I'm ok for now don't be worried if I feel like I'm going to harm myself I will call 911:D I feel so much better and loved!!!!

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