pokets Posted May 24, 2009 Report Share Posted May 24, 2009 Hi...I am in a right mess at the min, nearly got put on a section 3 on thurs, but cpn, dr and myself agreed that i wud use the crisis team, until tues wen they are gettin me an emergency app with psych. Crisis team have been non exisistent and i just keep on sh and its the only thing on my mind, i truly cant stop these thoughts and feelings I have started to use new form of sh as well as the cutting my body is a mess, and my head isnt far behind, i can see no future, i have lost interest in everything, dont want to see anyone, I cry, im angry, sad, hurt and confused...ME who the f**k is that. I am scared, wot can i do ????? I sat in bed last nite and was so close to take my sh a further step and end it all, finding my way 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mscat Posted May 24, 2009 Report Share Posted May 24, 2009 Hi Joe, I have been worried about you. I feel so badly that your struggling right now . I do understand how difficult things can get at times in our lives . i hope that I have NOT been a negative influence , on the SI for you> Allow the Professionals to help you. Do whatever it takes to get back on track and under contol.Was there something that triggered all of this? A stressful event? what happened? PLease write more here, you have not been on here for a while. And I am concerned. CJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Oh pokets, please talk to us! I'm so sorry you are in such pain.:(. Who are you? You are a sensitive person who has been through way too much. You are a person that we like very much. You are caught in a spiral right now that repeats itself and there is a part of you that wants to end it all by ending you. There is another way. You may need someone to help you. You need to step out of the spiral and let it go past you. It can happen. You will still be you if you do this. A million hugs to you pokets!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokets Posted May 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Thanku for ur replies...Cathy..No u havent been a negative influence on my sh at all, all these things come from my own thoughts feelings and the voices suggesting to me wot i can do to really harm myself.....I really dont know wot triggered it all , it has crept up over the past month or so very slowly then all of a sudden things hit me. Past ,future n present. To most they seem like small things to me they r huge, i dont feel i belong anymore anywhere!!!! I am desperate, thats really hard to say. I m not sure i want the help, i am so tired of living my days like this. I have fought most of my life against those who use n abuse me, but now im doing it all to myself. I havent got the fight i used to have, i really havent got anymore words to say.But thanku Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Well then take our quiet care with you, the stuff beyond words. Just breathing in and breathing out, looking out the window if you have one. We are with you:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mscat Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Thanku for ur replies...Cathy..No u havent been a negative influence on my sh at all, all these things come from my own thoughts feelings and the voices suggesting to me wot i can do to really harm myself.....I really dont know wot triggered it all , it has crept up over the past month or so very slowly then all of a sudden things hit me. Past ,future n present. To most they seem like small things to me they r huge, i dont feel i belong anymore anywhere!!!! I am desperate, thats really hard to say. I m not sure i want the help, i am so tired of living my days like this. I have fought most of my life against those who use n abuse me, but now im doing it all to myself. I havent got the fight i used to have, i really havent got anymore words to say.But thankuI feel so sad , reading your post because I understand what your talking about. Feeling like you do not belong anywhere i can relate to this well. the small things build up fast , and become HUge. The abuse that you suffered by the hands of others , are now turned against yourself. The patterns continue, as if your re living the nightmare over and over again. I also felt so much sadness and depression reading your post. I urge you to go and talk to a therapist. Are you dong that? I see that , and feel you are collapsing, and it scares me. I care about you, Joe. I know i am a million miles away from you geographicaly, however I feel for you and what your going through. The emotional pain is real, and when I read what you write I understand where and what you are feeling. It breaks my heart, and i am so concerned about you. PLease do what you need to do to get the support and help that you deserve! PLease do not wait until you really hit lower and lower. I think you need help now, and you certainly are worth it !Cathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokets Posted May 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 I have so much in my head at the moment. Disturbing thoughts r here with evengance. Im in no fit state to post, but i just wanted say thanku for the replies, and concern. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted May 27, 2009 Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 pokets I am thinking of you today:(. I know you have lost so much. We are here for you, if that helps in even the tiniest way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokets Posted May 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 Just to let u know i wont be around for awhile, they are putting me on psych ward today. CPN is picking me up to take me at 1.30. I am so scared, the psych said he will give me some new meds as well as the ones im on and try and get me stabilised. I hope u all take gd care.love xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted May 28, 2009 Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 pokets thanks for letting us know. Things can get so much worse if the medication is wrong. I am glad you are getting care:o Let us know how it goes for you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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