Blossom Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 I have a huge problem....I'm displaying some of my work in an art exhibition this week and have been looking forward to it for a long time. However, one of my art tutors invited my mother to come to the open night and I really don't want her to come because we don't get on and I know she'll ruin the night for me.. The only reason she wants to come is because she doesn't want to look bad for not going - she told me this herself. How can I get her to not come???:mad: finding my way 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted May 26, 2009 Report Share Posted May 26, 2009 Hi Invisible,Wow, that is a tough one to try and solve. I really want to hear from the others.I guess you could call her and "order her" to not come? I do not know how yu would feel about that? What do you think? Or, let her come and just grin and bear it. What do you think and our other members.By the way, maybe she really does want to come because she is proud, regardless of what she told you about her reasons. Is it possible?Allan:confused: finding my way 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blossom Posted May 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2009 (edited) That's definitely not a possibility - she doesn't like me fullstop. All my family cares about is looking good in everyone else's eyes and they put on an act that everything is super but it's not. I hate my life. She's just gonna come whether I like it or not. It's stupid because everyone thinks she's a 'lovely woman' but she's not. Noone would believe me if I told them the way she acts around me. I can't stand living with her anymore. Edited May 26, 2009 by Blossom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Proverbs31:28 Posted May 27, 2009 Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 I am prepared that I will likely be inthe minority here but my answer is colored by a lifelong toxic relationship with my parents.If your mother's presence will serve to cause you unneccessary angst, pain, anxiety, depression, concern, whatever, you have every right to not want her there. You also have every right to express that to her and ask her not to come. I am guessing this is a public exhibition so I am not sure if you can actually keep her from coming, but, I think if you take control and let your wishes be known, she likely won't come. She may sulk about it and curse you to everyone under the sun, but I doubt she'll come. IF she does come, personally, I would ignore ANY attempts she makes to affect you. If she is anything but cordial, walk away. Give her NO foothold whatsoever. Turn your interest and attention to other guests. Keep yourself occupied and out of her way. Should she do anything to cause a scene, SHE will be the one every one stares at, comments on and secretly judges- not you! If, however, she manages to be cordial and behaves herself, "reward" her with your time and attention. Perhaps she will see that you really do catch more flies with honey and she'll change her attitude. Not likely, but then, you can always do as suggested above!Good luck and congratulations on the exhibition! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted May 27, 2009 Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 Yes, congratulations on the exhibit, Invisible!!If negotiating her NOT coming doesn't work, is there anyone who can be there with you to support you? Two times I can think of, I've had a friend accompany me to be my "body guard" in a miserable social situation like this one. It made a world of difference just to have someone there that cared about me and listened to me "debrief" after it was over. Then I didn't have to go crazy all by myself.Carry in a laptop & we'll be there with you!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blossom Posted May 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 I already asked her not to come and she sulked and insulted me lots. But she's still coming!! I'll just have to pretend she's not there:eek: I know she'll behave herself at the exhibition..it's afterwards that I'm worried about. I know she'll end up comparing my work to everyone elses and she'll ask me why mine isn't as good blah blah blah!!! I'm bringing my cousin who she loves to keep her distracted. I think that's all I can do lol. Plus all my friends will be there aswel so I hope it goes ok. Thanks everyone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted May 27, 2009 Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 Hi Invisible,Pretending she is not there is a good idea and using your friends as a buffer is also a good idea.I'm a little confused about one thing (not unusual for me ), do you live with her or she with you??? If yes, that must be awful.Allan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blossom Posted May 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 Yeah, I live with her and believe me it's not fun.. But I'll be moving out when I start college in September! She behaved herself after all. she only stayed for about 5 minutes because it was too hot for her in the exhibition hall. That was fine by me!! I had the best night ever and lots of free wine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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