13 yr old pedo?

[worrieddd]

hey everyone,

i know you've all probably heard enough of this kind of stuff here, and some of the threads were pretty reassuring, but i just have to be sure.

im 13 (14 in a few weeks) and im a guy. for the last few weeks i have been getting mild 'feelings' when i think of CP or something like that. it started when i saw a nice girl 9 or 10 in a magazine wearing a bikini and i felt slightly turned on by it. i didn't realize this was pedophilia until i read that 13 yr olds can become ones. and in the weeks after i tried testing myself with the photo and thinking of CP to see if i get aroused. i did mildly, but it seemed to take an even longer time with girls older than me. I don't mastrbate all the time, but bfore this when i did i dont think i thought of kids, only adults and girls my age. i don't look at porn, and i do have a crush on another girl my age. the idea of having sx with kids is wierd to me, but not as disturbing as it seems to others. i do want it to stop.

not so long ago i also had gay fantasies and was able to reverse them by mastrbating. it seems that the fact that im not supposed to fantasize about kids is part of it. im not sure. its all very confusing:confused:

i haven't told my parents about this and a really don't want to but i have asked my mom for a psycologist, for other reasons. (previously[and still now] i had the tendancy to worry about health issues like having brain tumor,etc. in fact i might bring that up in another forum too)

thanks(hope nobody hates me after saying this about myself)

Edited May 27, 2009 by worrieddd

[Scareddd]

Hey worieddd,

First off, I would like to say good job for getting a psycologist, I highly encourage you to talk to him/her about what you're going through.

Now, I'm not an expert, but I think it is safe to say that your still a kid, and I don't believe that you are a pedophile.

You, like most people in your age and older (including me) think that when they see something, like the symptoms of a pedophile, then they believe it matches whats going on in their life.

But, in case you haven't looked this up, to be a pedophile you need to be 16, and have these thoughts for over 6 months. This doesn't fit your discription of yourself .

Its perfectly normal to feel mild attraction to people who are younger than you. Remember, having these thoughts don't define you as a person.

Hope this helpped

Scareddd

[worrieddd]

yes thanks

i do know that you have to be 16, but what says i wont still have these feelings? basically i will compare a kid to an adult and find im a bit more aroused on kids than women. but still not much for both:confused:

[mscat]

yes thanks

i do know that you have to be 16, but what says i wont still have these feelings? basically i will compare a kid to an adult and find im a bit more aroused on kids than women. but still not much for both:confused:

Your body is going to continue to change and grow . Nobody can tell you for sure how your going to feel in the next few years. What I'd like you to understand is to allow yourself to wait, and grow up some more. With time and maturity , things do change. Just because your feeling this way now, does not mean it will be the same for you in the future.

Do not label yourself either. What you can do is to work on self control, and continue talking to your therapist honestly and openly about your feelings no matter what .

[worrieddd]

Your body is going to continue to change and grow . Nobody can tell you for sure how your going to feel in the next few years. What I'd like you to understand is to allow yourself to wait, and grow up some more. With time and maturity , things do change. Just because your feeling this way now, does not mean it will be the same for you in the future.

Do not label yourself either. What you can do is to work on self control, and continue talking to your therapist honestly and openly about your feelings no matter what .

sorry, i should have made this clear. i don't have a psycologist yet i have only asked for one. i dont feel depressed or extremely anxious about this, its more like a cloud that hangs over my head. does it make it worse if i dont feel as horrible about it as some other people do? i mean at first when it occured to me that i might be one, i felt pretty sick but i feel like i can only be that way so long, so im not as deppressed about it as before. when i thought i was gay at one point i felt more depressed about that than i am now feeling about this.

thank you for the good advice though:)

[silentmist]

Worrieddd

Be careful what you read on the issue of Paedophilia, especially in the mass media. The mass media makes fortune after fortune out of making people afraid by pushing thier buttons. Paedophilia is one of the primary money spinners for journalistic publications.

If you want to have one of the most reliable definitions of what a Paedophile is then the publication I would reccoment would by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Illness (DSM). One of the diagnostic criteria for Paedophilia is that the person must be over 18 chronological years of age. Personally I think there should be a criteria that includes emotional/cognitive age as well.

You are NOT a Paedophile. Period.

Don't worry about labels. Every psychologist worth thier salt will tell you that labels are tools, not the end product.

[worrieddd]

thanks, everyone:cool:

i think its almost gone:).....hope it wont come back:rolleyes:

[Michael_L]

Chill, buddy. You are only 13. When I was 13, I was fascinated by CP too, and actually engaged in sexual contact with my 6-year-old cousin. So, I can tell that you are far from a paedophile simply by comparing you to myself. If you still fancy little girls over your fellow teens when you come of age, maybe we can talk.

[worrieddd]

when is exactly coming of age. because i think i have finally gotten past the period of feeling aroused by everything, however i still get stronger feelings when thinking about girls a few years younger. it might be just because im afraid of being a pedo, but they are still somewhat stronger than girls and women older. i feel like i lost my ability to feel attracted to girls and women m age and older

Edited September 1, 2009 by worrieddd

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Worrieddd,

I agree, you are only 13 years old. You seem to have some type of obsessional disorder about this, meaning, it's a thought you cannot get away from. Is that true???

Allan:)

[worrieddd]

yes and no.

i do have a thing about worrying about things, but i am 14 now and teh feelings seem to have come back stronger.

school has been a useful distraction, but i still find myself 'noticing' younger people as well.:confused:

i can stifle it but i still feel it no matter what without thinking. i would never touch anyone. just the feelings, and sometimes involuntary peeping. not gawking just well 'noticeing' i guess

Edited September 15, 2009 by worrieddd

[worrieddd]

i dont know what this is, but its making me feel incredibly bad about myself. i dont want to look at a kid and feel turned on, but no matter how much i try to hold it back it just keeps coming on stronger every time i try to push it back. it seems like im finding younger and younger people arousing, and i feeling less and less for people my age and older. i know people probably think i'm a sick person, but there is nothing i can do about it. :'( i THINK i can see a psycologist in december, but no earlier than that.

heres a brief description of what is happening*graphic*

i seem to feel uncontrolled arousal from just the smaller undeveloped features of younger people most arousing, i dont go fro large genitals or chests. i cant stop it, i don't want to hurt anyone, i sometimes just unconsciously look around in the locker room, or swimming pool, and feel a little turned on. i seriously consider cutting of my penis, but that would probably have worse consequences. HELP PLEASSSE!!

[Scareddd]

Worieddd, its all good.

The exact same thing happend to me when I was 14. I know how it feels, and its the worst feeling in the world. You don't want to be a pedo. You don't want to hurt anyone, even though you sometimes fantasize of it.

Hell, I got suicidal during that period of "being afraid and feeling hopeless."

I went to a psycologist, and i turned my life around.

This is something i learned from that experience:

Trying to hold something back is like someone telling you "Hey, don't look at the pink elephant in the room." Of course you are going to look at the elephant, its human instict. Try to think as the thoughts as just "a thought" that you had, like any other thought. Brush it away, don't be hard on yourself, and tell yourself that there is something wrong with you.

You cannot control your thoughts. Your thoughts do not define you. Throughts are like someone flipping through channels on a T.V randomly. But some channels can be clicked on more than others. That does not mean you are a pedo, it means that you are obsessing about being a pedo, like I did.

You are NOT A PEDO. I will bet money on that. Hell, I'll bet my life on that.

Its just a phase. A horrible phase.

If you want, go read my story, its on the message board. Its called "Am I a Pedo?" I know you will find that you are more like me then not.

I hope you get out of this rut. But, i know certainly, that you will

Scareddd

[SweetSue]

Hi THERE WORRIEDDD,

IS THERE NO WAY THAT YOU CAN ARRANGE TO SEE THE P.DOC ANY EARLIER THAN DECEMBER, MAYBE YOU COULD HAVE A WORD WITH YOUR DOCTOR AND EXPLAIN THAT YOU NEED TO BE SEEN SOONER RATHER THAN LATER.

YOU ARE NOT ACTING ON YOUR FEELINGS, YOU ARE SEEKING HELP, THAT DOES NOT OFFEND ME, I THINK THAT YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING IN TRYING TO GET HELP..

SERIOUSLY GO SEE YOUR DOCTOR AGAIN, PLEASE DO NOT HARM YOURSELF, YOU HAVE YOUR WHO;E LIFE AHEAD OF YOU.

I WISH YOU LUCK, PLEASE TRY AND GET SEEN BY YOUR DOC , OK

TAKE CARE

Jj

[worrieddd]

thanks so much scaredd, i have read your thread and it was quite reasurring, its just that every time i realize little undeveloped kids turn me on i feel hopeless, and now im 14 and its in fact worse than when i was 13.

i never fantasize about it, the only times i ever think of images like that are when im trying to test or to try to reverse myself. i have no real desire to either, it just 'works' when i think of them i feel arousal, thats it. it just turns me on whether i like it or not. and sometimes now even when i see a provocative image of a model nothing comes on. meanwhile when im testing myself and saying NO NO NO BAD, i still get it. some times even when i just see a pretty, young girl it reminds me of stuff, and ive really never felt anything before.

i dont LOVE kids or have any romantic feelings toward them, otehr than the fact that i get that feeling when i think of them bare. i have no urge to touch one, or make contact, just plain arousal. and thers nothing i can do about it.

ive been to the doctor and they really cant do anything about it. ill just have to wai for the psycologist.

[Scareddd]

Step 1: Do not test yourself.

Step 2: You only like it because it is taboo, and you "shouldn't" like it. You are not a pedo.

I strongly strongly STRONGLY urge you to go see a therapist. Its worth every penny.

[worrieddd]

so i have finally been able to tell a psychiatrist about my problems, and she might prescribe something to help with this and all my other issues that you can find about my rants.

the only thing is that i dont feel much different than before. i feel ever so slightlty more relieved, but i still havnt been rid of these feelings. i hope it will get better with more visits but i dont feel like this therapy is helping -yet-. i think my psychiatrist is good, but im worried its not doing anything for me.

it just seems like it had a major effect on everyone else with this issue:confused:

i still hope it goes away soon, im glad to be back. sorry i havent really kept in touch.....

[lacyjay87]

Chill, buddy. You are only 13. When I was 13, I was fascinated by CP too, and actually engaged in sexual contact with my 6-year-old cousin. So, I can tell that you are far from a paedophile simply by comparing you to myself. If you still fancy little girls over your fellow teens when you come of age, maybe we can talk.

Did this 6 year old agree>? just wondering not trying to be mean or anything...