This is what Therapist was doing in session!

[mscat]

I am still quite angry with my therapist for his actions , yesterday :mad: And i do not know how to deal with it.

I got to my appointment on time as scheduled at 10am . The therapist arrived shortly before i had, due to a meeting. He's usually there earlier in the morning on Wednesday's. When I got in the building, he was talking to the front desk woman, no big deal.

I waited for him, he needed to use the restroom, again no big deal. The session starts out by him talking about his meeting, and stuff, which is fine, because I liketo know what is going on, and what changes may take place, due to the CA budget cuts .

He assured me that their was not going to be any changes and there still would be therapy at the same place. I start talking , and a lot of times, most of the time, I have bad eye contact.

But, I happen to look up to where he is sitting, and see that he's on his computor , looking at a long note> I stop talking, and ask him, WHat are You DOING?

He's reading an email, from a elementary school Psych . Since I asked him, and HE WAS doing THAT , instead , he proceeds to explain that it was a serious matter about a child , who possible is going through what I had as a child, So i am like, what , I went through a lot of stuff as a kid, he said a little more.

BUT, I was and still am pissed that he's reading EMAIL during session. I tell him , that he's more interested in helping little kids, I quite taken back about himn doing that, he says he reads his email BEFORE , in the mornings, got there late today, SO he's doing that , when he is with a CLIENT?

HE"S a ASSHOLE. He is now arrogant too. Because he's been working there for a long time, and feels like he can do whatever he wants, and nobody would take his position , because we live out in the Rual areas.

Do I have a right to be mad ?

[NioRaman]

If you pay a co-pay or isn't fully covered by your insurance, I'd dispute the charge simply because he didn't provide a service to you. You should be very disappointed at him.

[smallstar]

Hi again ms cat, yes I would say you have good reason to be angry with the therapist. I mean there is no way he could be listening to you while reading his email. If you wanted to talk to yourself you could have stayed home. I mean that basically shows his lack of caring as to what you're saying and that makes it kind of hard to provide therapy. I'm sure you would be less angry if he had you wait 10 minutes for your appointment than to see him on time and be treated like that. And he really should have apologized to you, admitted he was wrong and I'm sure you wouldn't be as mad. But regardless, yeah, you have every right to be mad, I would have been shocked and probably hurt. I wouldn't want to go back. Do you have any other options for therapy? Or is he your only choice?

[mscat]

It was just was email, and he did tell me how serious it was > But, that was not the point, he shouldn't be doing reading it while I was talking:confused: He knew it, but then told me about it, and stuff.

I've been seeing him a long time. And he does not usually do that kind of stuff usually. I am thinking I ought to to just let it go.

I called him on it, he knows I di not like it, and he BETTER NOT try that shit again. He also brought up a difficult topic ofr me too, that i am grappling with, so he did hit a nerve on a totally different issue. Which makes things even more complicated.

Now that he is aware that even though I do not always look at him , I do see and notice when he's not listening! That really made me think that he ignoring and uncaring .AT first.

The therapsit I see has seen me through some very rough times, and I know it would be too difficult to start over with somebody else at this point. I am going to tell him next week not to ever do that shit again>

[finding my way]

mscat, I think you are showing some positive traits of self-assertion here with your therapist. No, he should NOT have been doing that in your session, and you are strong enough in yourself to tell him so. I would expect that he would listen to you and respect your speaking up, from what you have said of him. We can hope so, until we are shown something different.

[Mark]

It's not a matter of whether you were paying for therapy or not or how much. It's just a matter of whether this sort of behavior is acceptable or not. And, frankly, that is not acceptable behavior for a therapist to engage in during a therapy session. It's not a terrible crime like sleeping with a patient or anything - it's important to keep it in perspective! - but it is still not a good thing for him to have done as it communicates to you that he is not listening or paying attention to you. When he does that, he breaks down the rapport between you and him, and when the rapport breaks down, he becomes ineffective.

[silentmist]

I often wonder whether therapists deliberately do something or say something to try and provoke anger. Something they know will push your buttons and see how you express yourself, perhaps to see if you can be assertive and able to confront someone you trust.

I'm seeing a consultant psychotherapist at the moment and she is saying some very strange things to me, being quite argumentative. Provoking me into arguing with her and then she'll suggest that I'm not suitable for therapy because i'm argumentative.

I just wish they would let you know what they were doing at the end of the session so your not left feeling non listened to after the session.

[mscat]

I often wonder whether therapists deliberately do something or say something to try and provoke anger. Something they know will push your buttons and see how you express yourself, perhaps to see if you can be assertive and able to confront someone you trust.

I'm seeing a consultant psychotherapist at the moment and she is saying some very strange things to me, being quite argumentative. Provoking me into arguing with her and then she'll suggest that I'm not suitable for therapy because i'm argumentative.

I just wish they would let you know what they were doing at the end of the session so your not left feeling non listened to after the session.

Not suited for therapy because your arguementative> what a bitch . She provoked you. Tell her that she has helped you feel that way, provoking youto the point where you feel like you need to argue>

Anther thing that makes me extremely uncomfortable is when the therapist writes down what you say> taking notes, makes me think I am nuts .Then wonder who and what he's going to do with the notes? Proof of my insanity?

I already have a low trust level, and sensitive to what people's actions are. Especially during therapy. The ironic thing is that I show very little eye contact. It is a fault of mine. However, I am very aware of what the therapist is doing, and if he is actually paying attention!

[mscat]

I had therapy today, I go every Wednesday morning at 10:00 am. I took the time beforehand and printed out my thread on here. I wanted to show Steve, my therapist the feedback I got from here, + how I felt about his behavior.

Before I gave him the copies, he guessed what it was about. I feel so much better now, showing him the feedback and how i felt afterwards from last week's session.

I told him I had gotten over it, which is true. He was cool about it. He thought the comments were good, and did remind me that it was coming from my perspective. He said, do they know you have been seeing me for yrs? I said yes, however, really, what difference does that make? He means that he's just too comfortable talking to me? He said he was listening and can "walk and chew gum at the same time":rolleyes: Yep, he can be a smart ass !

At least he knows how I felt about his behavior, and that it was not apreciated!

THank you for helping me through it.

Cathy