Help me cheat on Self Esteem homework?!

[karai]

Hi,

My T. gave me a self esteem homework a couple of weeks ago and I am supposed to write 3 things everyday for 3 weeks that are "good things I like about myself". Well, for 2 days I could think of nothing. I eventually could put something on paper, but for every item I could list, I could think of 3 negative ones! At my last session, I told him I was going to cheat and ask other people for answers; of course he wasn't very happy about that but told me to keep on trying. Okay, my next appointment is in a few days and I have been working on this everyday without much success. All I ask for are some suggestions to list down. Unfortunately I'm serious. I want to complete the assignment so as not to disappoint my therapist, but there is no other way I can think of doing this but by cheating. Pathetic, I know! Either way I disappoint him, but I figure at least cheating will give me some answers I never thought of! Okay, bad idea but I'm desperate! No laughing people, this is very difficult for me! A compromise: I will come clean and let him know that I cheated--how's that? Any takers? Thanks.

[malign]

But the assumption that you're going to disappoint your therapist is based on the idea that he has some expectation of you either way! That's not his job. Just like a teacher, the most he can hope for is that you tried (and that you didn't cheat. :-P) Whatever you come up with is just to find out where you stand right now, so he knows what he (or rather, you) has to work on.

It's okay (well, it must hurt a bit, but there's no shame) that you can't think of good things about yourself yet. Keep working on it.

[mscat]

Karai,

The assigment has to come from you. It is all about how you feel about yourself . Nobody can do this for you. Your therapist wants to know and help you understand that you have very good , positive , nice things about yourself.

I can guide you, however will not help you "cheat" Let's say, maybe you did something nice for someone? something minor, even if it were to let someone go ahead of you in line, or slow down when driving and let anther person pass.

Maybe you took the dog out for a walk, or cleaned your room or something, then you go back and reflect lon how it made you feel abut yourself? Sometimes it is the small things that can boost self esteem. it does not always have to be something real big.

[karai]

Hi malign and mscat,

You guys are so smart, and right! Yeah, I guess I have to do this on my own; I never thought of it from my T's point of view. I guess the enormity of the assignment (initial 25 items list, which I didn't mention earlier, plus the 3/day for 3 weeks= 88!!!!) really got me hung up on the quantity of it all! You both got me looking at this assignment differently. He did say that even the smallest thing counts too, but I still can't think of any! However, I will take your suggestions to heart and try to complete my list on my own. Thank you so much. Take care....

Edited June 3, 2009 by karai

[finding my way]

If you really are just staring at a blank piece of paper, how about listing the things you like about other people? As a place to start. That at least gets to your values, your likes and dislikes. Just an idea:)

[silentmist]

I think the danger of exercises like this is that people can end up just making stuff up in order not to dissapoint whoever asked us to do the exercise.

In my opinion, if we feel there is nothing that we like about ourselves then we must stick with that as far as the exercise is concerned, otherwise it just become a superficial peice of work that isn't about you anymore, it's about what others want from you.

When I'm asked to think of something I like about myself my mind goes completely blank and then the more I try to think of something the more frustrated I get until I loose my temper. I don't do this one anymore (the exercise).

[Ob1one]

Well for me this thing is easy because I do this for myself because it does make you feel better about yourself. When you start doing it it gets easier. Its kinda like when you complain a lot your always thinking about the negative or the glass is always half empty and you always need to think about how things are bad. But when you try to start being more positive even if you don't really think things and good and you keep doing that then you actually start to become a more positive person and seeing things as the glass is half full. When that happens you can start seeing positive things in yourself and you just keep doing that it helps your self esteem because instead of seeing 3 negative things you could see three positive things.

So in the end its just really a good exercise that is just really good for you, its nice you could wake up say something positive about the yourself and get on with your day.

[karai]

Thanks all, for your input!

You've all helped a lot and I have been able to at least think of 3 things since yesterday!

I do think this is a valid exercise. It's just that there is really nothing good about myself that I can think of and whatever I write down seems so stupid and yes, like I'm just putting stuff down to fill up that blank space! However, what I do put down is true to me, in other words, what is positive about me, but I don't feel positive about it--does that make sense? So far, this homework hasn't made me feel good about myself. I guess I'm just thinking of getting the exercise done. Maybe later when I re-read what I wrote, it would make some sense as to why I wrote what I wrote. The comment made by my T. for the first week's list was that most everything I wrote, I have a "but" at the end of it. In other words, I countered whatever good thing I wrote about myself with a negative thing or explanation. Didn't even realize I did that! Guess I got a long way to go....

Thanks for all your comments and help...

Edited June 4, 2009 by karai