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ok. I got one: I can't stop smoking

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Ok, Here is something that's been bothering tremendously. I am plague by this addiction of smoking, which is totally isn't fitting with my lifestyle for one, but also , as we know, isn't good for me all around...

So, everyday, I smoke. Everyday, I think, this is disgusting. Everyday, I think "today I stop smoking". Everyday, I think : This is gross. It smells gross, I feel so much better now that I have stopped. I can am stopping smoking. I am strong...etc" But, in reality, Everyday, I don't smoke for a couple of hours, and then get back to it when a pang shows it's ugly head.

I have stopped smoking before. For a long time. So much so that it disturbs me and annoys me, and makes me feel as though I am letting myself down, that this time seems to be impossible.

So, somehow, I am pretty sure somewhere I am telling myself that:

"I can't stop smoking".

And it's pretty easy to find evidences that I can't: Everyday, I can't handle it it seems, and get back at it. when a little bit of stress comes along, or boredom...

It seems that I have a much less harder time when I want to stop for someone, like a new potential boyfriend that doesn't smoke. This is how I managed to stop the last time and remained smoke free for 12 years. Yeah, I know, I can't believe that I started again!

I have watched the 'the easy way to stop smoking', read the book. read stuff on the net as well for motivation... Argh.

Anyway. As per evidences that I can. Well, there are evidences, of course. And I remind myself of that everyday as well:

- I have suceeded before

- I have accomplished some goals before

- I can take care of myself and do what's best...

But, still it doesn't seem to solve this problem. And it's beyond me now. So I turn to you for help now... How can I turn this around?

thank you! :confused:

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I love your fire quote!:) Was that always there?

OK, I'm not a CBT pro at all. I just want to share something my therapist said that worked for him to stop smoking. For him it was a matter of self talk and identity. He started saying he was a non-smoker that smoked for a while. And it worked! Maybe it won't work quite like that for you, but you could stop calling yourself a smoker that can't quit.

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Hi tour, I don't know how you would feel about this, but I took chantix to quit smoking and it really does work. The side effects can be icky at first, but they do fade. I did quit with chantix, but stupidly I stopped taking the medicine shortly (like 2 weeks) after I quit, and started smoking again after a couple of weeks. You're not supposed to just stop taking it lt stop taking it like that though, so that's why I think I started smoking again. I am going to start taking the chantix again myself, but follow the directions this time. I know quitting smoking is really hard, but you can do it, you already know that.

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I too have quit for many years and then picked it up again, and then quit, and then...... Most of the times I stopped were because I just didn't go buy any and didn't have any around. And for me it was too much effort to go get in the car and drive the 10 blocks to the store to get a pack. Laziness does have it's bonuses at times.

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Hi, I applaud you for your decision to quit smoking, tour. As I read your post I noticed that there is a bit of concern about your self-worth associated with your smoking. You are not explicit in expressing this concern, but you do mention that your smoking disturbs and annoys you, among other things. This is normal because people generally do feel bad when they set a goal for themselves and do not make any progress towards meeting them. But, as this forum is called the Cognitive Reframing Help forum, there is an underlying message here: the way we see the problem is the problem.

If I have not begun to grate at your nerves for assuming the role of Captain Obvious :(, you need to take another look at your smoking habit without making any inferences concerning your own worth. You have a smoking habit. Really, this sentence says everything necessary. The fact that you quit before and started again does not mean anything. Sure, you could say that since you quit once before, you can quit again, but this does not properly express your intentions. Why am I quitting?

To put it another way, with pen and paper, take a moment to answer this question: What if I quit smoking? What's in it for you? Will you smell better? Live longer? Enjoy better oral health? Reduce your risk of developing cancer? Will your friends and family thank you? Will this bring you a step closer to that multi-million dollar modeling career? (I said 'What if', so that includes your WILDEST dreams!) Once you are satisfied with your answer to the 'What if' question, what is the very next physical, visible action you must take to achieve this 'What if' picture? There are many approaches to modify your smoking habit that you can read about online, which ones are you interested in trying? Can you try one? Or can you try more than one at once? Do you need to ask a pharmacist a quick question? See your doctor? Jot down all the things that result from brainstorming the possible next actions.

Now that you have a list of actions, pick one, do it, cross it off, and go to the next actions. As long as you are crossing off the actions for your plan to quit smoking, you know you are still following your goal. When you are not completing and crossing off these actions, you know you still have things to do. But, you can't expect yourself to slog through this list of actions without accentuating the positive reasons why you are doing them. You need to spell out the great reasons why you are doing what you are doing in order to keep pushing! Otherwise, this next action list is just any other list, a list of stuff that you have not yet done that may make you feel a little oppressed.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Tour,

You are getting excellent advice from everyone about quitting smoking. I want to add a couple of things that you may know but may not know. I have been surprised, in the past, by how few smokers are aware of these facts:

1. Smoking is not only a bad habit, it is also a very real drug addiction. Nicotene is a powerful drug and is thought to be as powerful as heroin. That is why stopping is so hard and why it is easy to relapse.

2. After people have quit smoking for a period of time, their brain starts to play tricks on them. That is when all the thinking begins such as, "Oh, just one cigarette won't hurt," or, "I can handle it now, I'll just smoke occasionally," or, "wow, that was a powerful dream, it makes me want to smoke," and there are millions of other examples.

You see, even if you have decided to quite, your brain cells have not and they start sending those messages and others to try and get you to resume.

3. Because it is an addiction, people need help with putting an end to smoking. Smallstar mentioned the drug, Chantix, and it does help many people quit. But, for some people, that drug, Chantix, can have side effects and one of those can be suicidal thinking. It does not mean you should not take it but it does mean you should discuss it with your medical doctor. You also have to ask how it might interact with other meds you are taking.

4. There is a program called "Smoke Enders" that has helped many people. It uses behavior modification to help people stop smoking. You work in groups and there is lots of support. I do not know the cost of this.

5. There is always using the patch or the gum and these are ways of getting nicotene into your system without smoking until you are off of cigarettes. It has helped some people but I have known people who use them and smoke at the same time, adding greatly to their nicotene intake.

6. There is also using the gum or patch while reducing the number of cigarettes each day. You keep a chart, and go down gradually.

In all, it is not easy and I would talk to my medical doctor about this. He may be aware of more recent medications and programs.

I quit thirty years ago and I can tell you that when you think you are over it a wave will come over you to take a smoke. That is also difficult because you are unsuspecting. But, I did quit and have never gone back.

Let me know how it goes,


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  • 1 month later...

Argh! I really feel for you!

My mother tried for .... like my entire life to stop smoking. She finally did but now she's got COPD (a kind of pre-emphysema). I think my stepfather said "it's me or the cigs" and she finally wised up.

I read a story once about a doctor who pasted the phrase "You will drown in your own lungs" EVERYWHERE. On his door, his car, his desk, the lamps, the fridge EVERYTHING. So he had to face the fact that he was slowly killing himself and poisoning his loved ones.


Try to think of it as denying those rich b@stards in suits the money your addiction gets them. Deny them the satisfaction that they killed another low-class addicted sucker.

I don't know. I'm very anti-smoking because I grew up in a house full of smokers and spent my childhood physically ill and socially out in the cold. I am very resentful of RJRNabisco/Reynolds whoever they are because they sold this evil crap to my mother and I smoked even IN UTERO. I feel on some level they ruined my childhood! What I wouldn't give to cause them just as much harm!

I have circulatory problems now and I blame them. Please deny them your money and please deny them the taking of your life and the sickening of those around you.

I don't know how to frame it any more accurately and logically than that.

I wish you the fondest, warmest good luck!


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Hi there, Tourdelove,

I am a smoker too :eek: buttttt, I smoke the real light 100's. Have you tried trying to smoke the lighter kind? hen gradually decreasing your intake a day? to less and less, and then try the nicorate gum? or the patch?

Yeah great a smoker giving anther smoker advice. I smoke about 4-6 at the most a day. Not much at all. Cause it bothers my heartburn which is probably an ulcer. ANyhow, I understand you. I still need to smoke , even if it is a little , I do it too. I guess if I were to try and quit I would consider my own advice.

Best wishes to you !

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