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I Need Help Please


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What are you supposed to do if you started therapy cause you wanted help and you thought it would help but as expected like everything else you do you can't do that right and you wind up leaving your appointment feeling worse than before you got there and you hate yourself and want to die even though the dr is really nice to you? I am sitting in my car now and don't even want to go home, I am so sad and I don't even think the therapy will help and he thinks we need to increase the therapy when he already wants you to go twice a week? I just don't understand.

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Feeling bad doesn't mean it is not being helpful, it may mean that the doc found the right topic to work on and that makes you uncomfortable. I am currently learning thru my own therapy that it usually gets harder before it gets easier. Sucks, huh! Your statement about wanting to die is probably part of why he wants to see you more often - to help you get thru this difficult time and provide as much support as possible. I'm just guessing here. Hang in there - we are here to support.

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I don't know. I am just so confused and upset right now. I feel so lost. I don't want to go home, but I have to, I just wanted to get some help but it seems like I can't, I get so confused when he's talking to me, I can't remember what he asks me, I wind up looking like an idiot. I don't think my mind can handle all the anxiety at the same time as trying to answer the dr. It is so intense I can't bring my mind to what's going on. Even if I'm willing to talk to the dr, answer what he asks me I am just so full of anxiey I can't get past it so that I can think. It's been about an hour and some of this anxiety and tension is just now leaving my body. I just wish I didn't have to go home, there isn't anywhere I want to go, I would stay in this car forever if I could. I am so hopeless right now.

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I am home. I am okay, I just sat in my car for quite some time, I was just so unable to think I couldn't drive. I didn't know what to do or where to go, I only had one option really, so here I am. I don't know what happened to me, it was just horrible, I didn't know what to do with myself I really didn't. Everything just seems so useless and pointless now. I am scared and I don't want to go back to therapy, I never wanted to just drop dead more than I did tonight. That's why I just got in the car and sat there. It was all I could do. Eventually I had no other choice so I drove home. Actually about an hour and a half after the appointment my phone was ringing with a call from home. I didn't answer it, but that was my cue to start the car and remember that whether I want to or not I'm still stuck here so my only choice is to drive home.

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Hi Star,

I hope you're ok. Please message soon and let us know you are. Things can seem hopeless but we still have to keep trying. You have all of us here to support you. You can share your thoughts and anxious moments with us and hopefully find some solace in the fact that you are not alone in how you feel. Your moments of anxiety are shared by many here so suffer too. They need your voice just as you need theirs. I hope you made it home and are feeling more calm.

Squiggle.

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I am glad you are home and okay and that some of the anxiety has gone down. Is there something you can do this evening to relax and distract even for just a little bit to help your body recover. Anxiety like that will take quite a toll on your body. Please take care of yourself this evening and know that we are here for you.

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Yeah, I don't know what to do. I am really sorry, I really didn't intend to worry anyone, I was just so confused I was hoping somebody would be here to help me, and you were, so thank you. I really don't know what happened. I am hoping that when I get up tomorrow that I don't feel like this. My mind just can't focus, and it's been so long, the appt was over at around 7:30 or so, but I am definitely feeling better than I was, I think I will have trouble sleeping tonight but I just wish I didn't feel like this. It's just so awful, I need to get help so I go to therapy , I go to therapy which causes an overload of anxiety to the point where I can't process a single thought. I kept having to say to the dr, I'm sorry I forgot what you asked. I thought I was going to tear the skin right off my arms. But thanks everyone for caring, and I really am sorry if anyone was worried, I was just looking for someone to talk to, that's all, sometimes I just need some time that's all, but I am doing better, actually I feel like a real jerk now, and I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to do before, I was just scared.

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We worry because we care, that is nothing to feel bad about!! We are all in this fight called life together and we get thru it by being there for each other. I am glad you are feeling a little better please keep trying to relax and clear your mind of the appointment right now, you can think about it later.

What about asking your therapist for only a half hour session for a while - an hour is clearly to much to start with and to talk about not such major stuff until you can adjust to the office. It's ok to go very slow!!!

Someone shared me with this once, I don't know if it will help you feel better but it relieves my feeling bad when I have to reach for help. If everyone gives and noone recieves, noone can give.

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Thanks mabear, that is helpful to hear. Thank you for talking to me tonight, I just hope this doesn't happen everytime I go, I would have to stop going. Is it okay to ask the dr for less time? I didn't realize I really had a choice there, I don't know how long I was in there for, it felt like an eternity, I just kind of sit there until he says ok, next time blah blah, than I leave. I wouldn't mind it being a shorter period of time, especially if that would help. I just want to try and hold on to some of the hope I was feeling earlier this week, tonight I lost it all, but I'm sure I'll get it back. It was just a long day. I was off from work, so I had the whole day with my parents which takes enough out of me, than to go to this appointment and have such a hard time just put me over. But tomorrow's another day. Can't be worse than today, hopefully.

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The appointments are yours - you set the time, the topic etc. Sometimes it is necassary for the therapist to nudge or guide, but in this case I think telling them your reaction and asking to slow some would be a great place to start. The therapy is for you, not them. You also have the right to stand up when you are experiencing too much anxiety and say I need a break for a bit or if really bad like today that you need to go for today and will return at the next appointment time. This is very good for the therapist to know.

Your hope will return, you are in control and are very strong. Hang in there, you will succeed. I will catch up with you tomorrow. Get some sleep!!!

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Smallstar,

Sounds like Mabear was really helpful to you. That is great, Mabear :(

We are always here for you and do not forget that. In fact, we are happy to be here for you.

So, you get really nervous when at your therapists office. Have you told him or her about that? As a therapist, one of the things I did to help very anxious patients to relax was to ask them if they wanted to meet my therapy dog, Mingo. For those who said yes, I would have Mingo come in. Mingo was a wonderful Golden Retriever. She would sit on the patients lap and allow the patient to pet her, over and over. Mingo would just lie there, loving the attention. I cannot tell you how many people were helped by Mingo. Some of them bought their own dogs and that helped them remain calm when home or outside.

Anyway, there were times when a patient just could not stay in the office for a full fifty minutes. We had an agreement that, if they told me they were too nervous or tense to stay, that they would just tell me and they could leave. It worked really well and all of those people were eventually able to stay the full time.

Talk to your therapist about that.

Hope you feel better.

Allan

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