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old coping ways


nightfalls
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I don't know what I should do, I feel so overwhelmed, I have all kinds of stress and I can't fix it fast enough. I have new stress too and now I feel I'm going back to old coping ways and I know it does nothing in reality to control the stress but I just can't stop feeling like I have to do this. I have to limit this and not eat that. like it is some desision that matters my day will be messed up if I am not trying to limit the amounts. There is a powerful feeling that I can't not think about or crave but I am scard that I will not always have full control and that I will get more stuck. But what is more stuck? I don't like the guilt, or failure feelings, I don't like the perspective I see or the constant longing for whatever it is? it is such a constant back and forth conversation in my head like an arguement of my life debating myself I'm tired and I hate it. I guess I just needed to say it.:(

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Nightfalls,

Is it my imagination or have we not heard from you in a while??? If I am wrong, please forgive and if I am right, welcome back. Oh well, you know what I mean. :o

Of course, it is all too common that many women begin to believe that controlling food is the same thing as controlling life. Well, its no the same at all and eating has nothing to do with control except for the "fear" of loss of control.

Stress is stress and all we can really do about it is meditate, do yoga, exercise, watch funny tv programs, try to laugh with friends and remember that everyone else is in the same boat. By the way, everyone else is in the same darned boat. The specifics vary but the sense of stress does not.

So, just stop obsessing about food and live your life. Do the exercise thing and talk to us and keep talking to us and keep on talking to us. None of us are alone: we have one another.

What do the rest of you think???

Allan :(

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Hi Allan

Thanks for the welcome back it has been awhile you are right;)

I do feel the fear of loss of control of my life and I hate that, I am afraid that the choices I make today will haunt me down the road and I don't want that. Really I just don't want to think and think so much of a topic any topic at all. So what if I can't get off the food topic? then what do I do, If I can't stop obsessing? I know we all have stress and that we all have something to deal with I do get that. I don't know why it always seems like something is off with me, like deep down I'm not ok. any thoughts?

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Nightfalls,

Whew, thank you for telling me I was right and that you have not been here for a while. You know, the "old forgetting stuff." :) But, I guess I am not THAT old???????

Anyway, enough with the jokes.

When we obsess it is usually to hide something deeper that is bothering us. I have no idea what could be behind your obsessing and you need to go over that in your therapy, if you are in therapy.

Nevertheless, I advise people who are obsessing to do the following and it can help:

Do NOT try to stop obsessing. The more we try to Not think of something, the more we Will think of it.

Instead, think of something Different and Pleasant. Think of and picture a favorite place, maybe a forest you have been to, or the beach, or some very happy time or event. Then, picture that in your mind, see it, smell the place. Make plans for a happy vacation. Do not worry about cost, because it cost nothing to use your imagination.

Try this and see how it goes. Remember, do not try to stop thinking, just think of something different and pleasant.

Allan

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