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How do I get over this?


anonymous15

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Hi, i'm 15 going to be 16 in a few months and i hav a problem about something...

whenever my parents arent home, i end up having an urge beyond my control to go on the internet to look up cute preteen models, and i'm not sure why but i get aroused by it, i dont MB though...i try to stop going on there because i know its wrong and i might be addicted to it something just happened a few days ago too... i was on a trail at a national park and at the end of it there was a river and there were a lot of people and i saw a small girl there with no top on... she looked like 7 or 8 and i culdnt help but look at her and i was getting arroused by that too and i was annoyed by it, trying to get over this... i need help please

also this isnt related but people i know call me a pedophile because i've dated girls that are 2-3 years younger than me, and i dont see any problem with that and its annoyin what they are saying about it =[

please can i have some advice on how to get away from all this?

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Hello anonymous,

I can understand your problem as it sounds just like me. For a long time, probably starting around the same age, I did realize that I was attracted to young girls. However, I did go one step further and would MB to the images.

Also, your story in the park reminded me of a time I went to the beach, and there was a young girl who was rinsing off the sand in the open shower, and she removed her bottom. I was aroused when I saw this and felt bad about it.

And finally, I have the same reputation among my friends for dating younger girls. This probably made it worse for me as I feel like it kind of reinforced the fact that I was a pedophile.

I don't think anyone can simply tell you to just stop looking, and to stop being aroused, it's not that easy. I feel that it is ok to admire the beauty of young girls, there's no harm in that. Check out some books by David Hamilton and Jock Sturges to see what I mean. However, there is harm when the admiration turns sexual, which is our cases.

As for me personally, I do feel like I care about these young girls and would never want to see them hurt. After watching some shows on TV about how messed up some women have become due to sexual abuse as a child, it has reinforced the fact that I could never do anything to harm a child. Not to mention, it is very illegal and that's a good reason for me too.

I'm not giving you any professional advice, but just sharing my experiences and opinions since I am dealing with your same issue.

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Just one more thing, it seems like you're smart enough to realize that you have an issue, and it sounds like you know the difference between right and wrong. I'm sure it may be hard to take control of your urges and your desires, but it sounds like you're also smart enough to realize the negative impact if you were ever to let your urges take control of you.

One technique that I've found to be a bit helpful to me... and I'm sure not everyone will agree with this... is that I've been watching regular adult pornography and then MB to that, which will help associate the adult porn to pleasure. Immediately afterwards, I would view the CP material, and now with a different mindset, I don't have a desire to view it anymore and I've found myself able to let it go and delete it.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Sillyrabbit,

Your idea about watching porn to control pedophile types of urges is indeed silly because its kind of akin to using heroin to control the urges to drink alcohol. :) I am joking but I am not joking. I do not recommend watching adult porn for any reason. There is nothing healthy about it.

My recommendation for sexual problems of any kind, type or variety is psychotherapy.

I do not mean to offend you, Sillyrabbit, and I hope you are not offended. What do you and others think about my idea of psychotherapy??

Allan

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Yeah, I suppose you have a good point, and I do like the analogy that you used. Watching adult porn can be addictive as well.

But there is one thing that has opened up my eyes a bit however. Recently I've been reading stories about people who have been sexually abused as a child, and it has really made me sympathize with them. It has also allowed me to see what kind of effects that this has on a child and what happens when they grow up to become an adult. I do not want to be the same monster that these people have had to deal with, so I feel that I am able to disassociate children as sexual beings as a result.

I agree that psychotherapy would be the best treatment, but I am still having a hard time pushing myself to do so.

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  • 4 weeks later...

ok i'm back after a while and the urges have completely gone away probably because i have an amazing gf now; and before, i wuld look at those pictures even when i had a gf but i dont anymore somehow... it might have to do with the fact that this is the first gf i've had that is older than me but i'm not sure if thats what it is... it's something unexplainable and i'm glad that the urges are gone, thank you for your help :)

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