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Non receptive love


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Now if you read any of my other posts you know that I want a love but I want it to be the right love and it seems impossible etc.

I love this one women because when I look into her eyes its just like, I get a smile on my face and my heart jumps a beat and I feel all mushy inside but strangely in a good way. I know we all hear that story about love and your sitting their going "Get to the point."

She doesn't love me and I have a hunch she dislikes me. Not like she can't stand me but its just like she's compatible for me but I'm not compatible for her. Including that she likes another guys a lot and I'm not sure why. When I see them talking and giggling I actually feel I get a bit jealous. In fact when I see myself getting jealous I actually start laughing at my self because I'm jealous. I can't help but to laugh at myself when I see the guy(Me) who's the asperger who doesn't need anyone getting jealous over a girl.

I want to know how I can get over her because she has the other guy and I still have no one. Well no girl one. I have another friend at practice who gives me my daily dose of testosterone because if hes not there I'm surrounded by a group of girls talking about nails and high heels and I need a little bit of football talk or something manly lol.

So how do I get over the love of my life. I don't want to get in the way of her and her other friend just because I'm a little jealous, I'm not that kind of guy. And if you love her you have to sacrifice things for her even at your expense. I figure she isn't my true love and if she is God will make a way for it to happen. For now I just will be on my own... still......."small tear"

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The heart fluttering and pleasant emotions have to do with a release of chemicals in your body...so basically the biological wheels are turning if you have been experiencing that. True love is much deeper than only that. That is only a beginning.

If you really like this girl I'm wondering if you have initiated anything with her? Asked her out on a date to see what her response is? Or does she have a serious other? Are you merely admiring her from afar? If she isn't involved with anyone maybe try approaching her to talk or asking her to dinner. What you have been perceiving about her might be incorrect and you'll only find out more if you try.

As far as "getting over" someone, well that can be quite challenging sometimes. If that is what you feel you must do than I would recommend having as little contact with her as possible. Try to keep yourself busy with your everyday life, do things that give you pleasure. Talk football with your other friend. Try just being yourself and one day if your heart is open to it, you might find your special someone. Be a good friend. That's the best place to start.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi OB1one,

I agree fully with what findingmyway and irma have said to you.

I want to add another idea just for consideration in the form of a question for you to think about: Why want someone who feels unavailable to you for any reason? If you sense she does not like you, and that is what you wrote, and if she is interested in another guy, why bother giving her any thought at all? You want to "get over her." But, what is there to get over? There are so many wonderful women in the world who would be happy to get to know you.

What I am saying is that it often happens that people seem to want what they cannot have and do not want what they can have.

I have worked with so many men and women, over the years, who reject people interested in them and only lust after those who are no interested.

I believe this happens for a reason: It is a way to avoid intimacy. There are many reasons, all different, why people fear intimacy and you would need psychotherapy to figure it out but, I bet, lots of women have wanted you (or maybe a few women). I have heard all the versions for rejecting another person: They are not pretty enough, handsome enough, rich enough, thin enough, fat enough, etc, etc, etc.

Open you self up to people who really want you.

What do you and others think????


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Those are interesting thoughts. I've always felt that some just enjoyed the chase more than the catch, but maybe it really could be a means of avoiding the actual closeness of an intimate relationship. Perhaps it feels easier to admire someone from afar than to build an actual reciprocal relationship with someone available to you. The chase makes the entire notion of romance seem dream-like in the mind and keeps one from facing the reality of it all. But simple realities can be a beautiful thing too, OB1one, if you allow yourself to be open to them. And sometimes when you least expect them, you find them.

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