Sad and heartbroken

[SweetSue]

I feel so stupid it took so much effort yestday to go and see the shrink at the hospital, and now i just want to depart from the insanity of it all

Lets just say the docs suggestions of ways that could help have made my brain go into overdrive big time.

The thing is they think it will be necessary for me to be a inpatient on a voluntary basis, But the wierd thing is they said if i didnt agree then they could section me. Where is my choice in that.and can thry do that ?

Managed to sweet talk my way into a couple of days freedom on the grounds that i needed to arrange child care.

Plumiting to a all time low and wonder in desperation how i can go through with any of it, and if i really want to be around anymore

[smallstar]

I'm sorry things are so difficult right now Jessica. I am sure you still want to be here though, if only for your children. I know going into the hospital is very scary but maybe when you get treatment you will feel better and be better able to care for your children, which I am sure is your first priority. I know this will be hard for you and them, but hopefully in the end it's worth it.

[malign]

Jessica,

I know it's scary. But as someone who did just that, put myself in a hospital voluntarily, I can maybe talk about some of it.

I went in in an emergency situation, where I felt I was at least a potential danger to myself.

I didn't have small children, and my wife was home to take care of our teenager.

The results of the stay were mixed, you might say, but I'd say they were better than staying where I was, at the time. The results of almost any short-term solution tend to be mixed, in my opinion. It's what you do in the long term that determines the outcome.

So my situation is different from yours, I know. But I wouldn't dwell on their threat of forcing you to go; I think that was more to impress you with how important they thought it was for you to go.

What I would focus on is, would it help you, and are you to the point of needing it? You joined here for a reason; you went to see a doctor for a reason. Is that reason important enough (are you having enough trouble coping) that you need to go, for yourself and your children?

That's the important question, and I can't answer it.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Jessica,

I really do not know if they could hospitalize you or not because I am not there and do not really know your symptoms. If they believe you are a significant threat to your own life or to others they could involuntarily hospitalize you for observations for 72 hours. But, they must have very, very good reasons for this or it will not hold if you go to court.

Frankly, I know the thought of the hospital is scary but I am someone who is not anti hospital. Yes, there are those times where it may not help much, but, after all these years working in mental health, my experience has been that the vast majority of people I worked with were helped a lot by the hospital.

You do have to provide childcare for your children. Then, the hospital becomes a place of safety and where you can be helped to feel better.

Of course, I am not saying that, when you are done, you will come out feeling great about the experience. Some people liked it, some hated it, some were neutral about it and some found it something necessary they had to go through.

I think a lot depends upon the staff and the hospital.

Speak to your doctor about the hospital and ask what to expect.

Allan

[SweetSue]

hi there allan

Thankyou for the advice, and i apprieciate the reply.

I was diagnosed with ptsd some 15 years ago. Thankfully after years of treatment it subsided to the point i could atleast lead an average life.

my symptoms then are pretty much the same as they are now, i get really scarey flashbacks that seen to last a life time and leave me dissorientated and very confussed even to the point that sometimes i dont even recognise my own children.

i suffer with convulsions, (not epilipsy) severe anxiety and very bad deppression. Recently i have been getting hallucinations, not very nice ones and the voices in my head sre becoming ever more unbearable. i do not do drugs

I know that it needs to get sorted and i am determined to beat this again just seems a long way to climb when your looking up from the bottom of a mountain,

any tips would be welcome

thankyou

jj

[Guest ASchwartz]

Jessica,

Why is it that when i am out and pass a gtoup of people, genuinly feel asthough they are talking about me and are laughing at me in someway, or they are judging me in a bad way.

I cannot think of a better way to express what you are feeling. That is beautifully stated.

Please remember that mountains are climbed everyday, even the ones that are most daunting.

In terms of tips to help yourself in a self help kind of way, use meditation, listen to soft calming music and or the sounds of nature and imagine yourself in a beautiful and calm place.

If the hospital becomes necessary, tell yourself positive and true things: you will feel better and emerge stronger.

Allan

[SweetSue]

Hi allan

sorry taken so long to reply. am actualy in hospital at mo and have been for a while , you replied to questions and advice on another part of this web page. It has been hard and quite honestly its a ongoing battle to keep going , but thanks primarily to your innitial help (ptsd 13 july) and the support of a very good friend that i met on here (he knows who he is) i think and hope i am getting there. It is just going to take time patients and effort but a big thankyou for all of everybodys inputt and support . you have given me the courage to get the help i need.

Never under estimate what you do for others no matter how small or insignificant it may seem . Some times its the little things that can be true lifesavers

THANKYOU

Jj

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Jessica,

I am pleased we have been able to be of help to you. That is what we are here for. It always takes time, hard work and lots of patience to recover from problems.

Please stick with us, if you like. We are here for you.

Allan:)

[SweetSue]

Hi Dr Allen .

Out of hospital now ..... Thankfully.

Still not cured but atleast im still around, and deep down i know the only person that can get me better is me.

Thanks for your guidance it helped me through a pretty rough patch in my life.

Ive still got a long way to go and i realise its going to take me a while to get there but atleast im heading in the right direction.

Jj

[mscat]

Hi Jessica,

Glad your out of the Hospital now. Are you following up with therapy and outpatient care? How have you been feeling since geting out of the Hospital? I hope your doing well, and hanging in there. Hospitalizations are there for saftey and stabilization . and I hope that it helped you . PTSD can and is difficult, having to experience this myself, I understand how it wreaks havoc on ones mental health at times. I am very sorry

Having a family and young children to care for too, being a mom and responsible for their needs as well, and then to try to struggle with inner troubles is so hard. Keep writing your thoughts and feelings here, and we will try and support you. your not alone.

Cathy

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Jessica,

I want to join mscat in welcoming you back to us.

It always takes a long time to recover and that is true for everyone. I am glad that you are pointed in the right direction. I am happy you are back with us. Now, please be patient with yourself. Are you following up with the hospital recommendations?

Allan

[SweetSue]

Hi Cathy,

thanks for your replie, things are a bit crazy at moment especially since being released from hospital, adjusting to the sudden freedom is difficult and being home without my babies is killing me.

I guess the innitial high of being home has worn off, and the sad reality of what my illness has cost me has hit me hard.

Im supposed to start therapy later this week but i realy dont think im able to go as im too ashamed of myself to leave the house.

All i seem to be doiing these days is nothing, i guess at the moment ive just lost my way and things are realy hard. But thats just the way things are meant to be for me.

Jj

[JaneE]

Hang in there, Jessica!! Pulling for you across the pond, here. ^_~

Just be soooooo glad you live in the UK, where you can get help.

I don't have insurance so I'm kind of left floundering on my own, it's the American way. :-P

I can't imagine what it must be like to have a therapist to talk to, someone who knows some tools that they can teach you, to help you cope... I have no friends and no family, and I live with a man who hates me. It's very hard and I wish I had someone I could talk to.

But my heart goes out to you, and I hope you will be better soon.

I've been hospitalized a couple of times, but never voluntarily??

I'm not sure, actually! That has to be a positive thing, that you did it voluntarily.

Take care!

Jane

[SweetSue]

Hi Jane,

Thankyou for your your kind words,

Unfortunatley my freedom from hospital didnt last very long as i got re admitted today under section... oops

Im sorry to hear about your predicament and wish that things could be different for you. I understand what its like to be issolated and im sorry you cant get the help you both need and deserve.

I hope you feel better soon, i have made some good friends on this site who have helped me a great deal and offered good advice i am sure the people here can help you too.

Take care and keep in touch

Jj

[SweetSue]

Hi Allen,

Back in hospital again only this time under section. Guess the culture shock of being back at home without my babies is just too much to bear at the moment.

So much for heading in the right direction , it didnt take long for me to loose my way again.

The doctors here are ok though, even if i dont realy understand where they are coming from or in which direction they are taking me, i guess i dont have any option but to trust them this time round.

I kinda have to just stay possitive and hope that they can find the correct dossage of medication and therapy for me.

Just hope ive got the courage to go the distance

Take care

Jj