skyblue Posted July 24, 2009 Report Share Posted July 24, 2009 It's been over a year since the flashbacks of the sexual abuse that happened to me as a child began. I don't know why I'm having them. It was over 20 years ago and only happened once. I was ok for 20 years. I never needed any kind of therapy, it was never spoken of again after it happened. I knew it happened, I never forgot about it and it would be uncomfortable around the person or when others spoke of the person but I never had nightmares or the feelings of shame and loss and incredible fear that I am having now. Is it normal to be ok for years and then be affected by it? The nightmares (not of the incident, but the same "feelings") and the flashbacks of how I felt the day it happened are overwhelming.And please, don't tell me to see someone about it, it isn't possible. I'm disabled and have no transportation of my own. My parents would have to take me and they would know why I was going. It would kill them, we've never spoke of it so that just isn't a possibility. I just need to find a way to get back to the way I was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mabear Posted July 24, 2009 Report Share Posted July 24, 2009 Hi skyblue,What you have described is very normal. many times we repress the emotions attached to the memories. The problem is that those emotions are still there, they do not go away, and have to come out sometime. We don't always get to choose when or where. However, I like to think that our brain knows when we are mentally strong to deal with them and subconsciouly releases them knowing this. I take this as you have become very strong and are ready. I do wish you had a professional you felt you could talk with. Maybe it is time to discuss it with your parents? Unfortunately, without dealing with the emotions, you won't be able to go back to the way you were. Maybe if you stuffed them again you could delay things for a while, but ultimately you will need to deal with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 Hi Skyblue,One possible explanation for the flashbacks of this trauma is that something has triggered those memories and feelings. It could be something you read in the news or saw on TV or something you heard someone talking about. Anyway, Mabear is right that these things happen from time to time.If you are not able to go for help there are things you can do to help yourself. For example, we have a self help book here on our web site. The URL is:http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/center_index.php?id=353&cn=353I urge you to read the materials and use the items having to do with relieving anxiety and stress. Let us know how you are doing with it., please.Allan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skyblue Posted July 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2009 Thank you very much for your replies. I will read the information. Thank you so much for pointing me to a tool I can use to work through this myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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