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cyblue
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Don't know if anyone here can help with this one...

So my pdoc took me down to 5mg of Lexapro (from 10mg) about four weeks ago. Last week i was cycling up for several days - had a couple days of 'normalcy' and am on the downward cycle now (and how). i am afraid that if i call pdoc now, he will simply re-up the Lexapro - which i'm not too keen on doing as it made me sleep too much. Do you think he would do that even if i mentioned that i was up for a while?

Shoot - i guess it doesn't really matter, does it. it'll all run its course eventually...maybe i shouldn't even call him.

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Yea the cycle will run it's course, by the way how long is the "course " gonna be? Days, weeks, months? The Dr. is the one person that should be like your best friend.Dr should know everything. I don't mean call him daily, just when things aren't working out right.Dr is the key out of your hole.He can't get a rope if he doesn't know how deep you are. He would be guessing.Take his guessing away and tell him everything from what you are feeling, to how the drugs are affecting you, to how your relationships are going. I was lucky once and had a fantastic psychiatrist, it took him about 6 months to find the right meds for me.In that 6 months he learned who I was, and began to tell me the good in me that I couldn't, or wouldn't see. Between the meds and the therapy, I went back to work better than ever.Until the meds quit working.Then we started all over again with new meds. It is a roller coaster. My biggest asset? To talk to myself, to verbalize something audibley is a powerful thing in your mind.To keep repeating it, can keep yourself in check. To do the things we are supposed to do, and not let bpd stop us from our schedules.

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Hey cyblue,

I keep a journal, talk to myself, and read quite a bit about my issues and how others are dealing with similar problems.

It seems to me that you are far better off than you might think because you're recognizing what's going on with you. Keep it up, and talk nice to yourself.

practice positive affirmations and kindness to yourself. That seems to help me some, but I still have that self-esteem-eating monster nipping at me all the time. It's tough, but you can tame it. Maybe even get rid of it all together.:)

take care-:)

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Hi cyblue, i definitely agree with the "it still sucks" statement.

It can definitely be a battle but one we still have to fight, it can really take it out you can't it?

I used to like the highs, well before they get out of control and then it all gets a bit too much. Complete Sensory Overload !

When i fall ( and i fall fast and hard too.) i just don't know how long it will go on for, that is where a journal has been a comfort to me. I actually found an old one the other day, i don't know about you but when i fall i forget everthing that i have tried to learn. In therapy i learnt that you will go down but eventually you will come out of it again, it never feels that way when your down there though does it?

Anyway, i just wanted to say that you do what you have to do to cope. A journal is a great way to go, it may be a life line for you.

Good luck,

Tracey

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i called pdoc this a.m. he told me to up the Lexapro back to 10mg. Said to give that a week or two and to call if i went 'up' again. we may have to tweak one of my other meds, too.

Doc asked if upping the anti-depressant has helped in the past. i told him that i've never called in the middle of a cycle before...just rode it out. Last night was really difficult but i am still here today.

Just along for the ride (and journaling the journey).

Thanks for the replies and advice.

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