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Cure?


goose
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Good question! I think that if you get the right treatments (not always meds although this is an option for some), such as social skills training, cognitive therapy, exposure treatment to gradually increase social contacts, and group therapy for practicing social skills, that yes, one can overcome most of the symptoms of the disorder.

One problem I've run into is that of gaining and maintaining the client's trust since people with APD will typically begin to avoid sessions if trust becomes an issue in therapy or they begin to fear rejection from the therapist. Most people suffering APD have extremely negative and unrealistic self images and confronting and overcoming these views can be quiet challenging. If the client doesn't see success, they sometimes begin to believe that the therapist will start to judge them and eventually even reject them.

Have you had any of these experiences in therapy?

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Goose and everyone,

I agree with DavidO about the issue of "cure." The fact is that life goes on and, therefore, we always go through period when life can become challenging. It is inevitable that we will face losses, financial difficulties, health problems, quarrels, and other difficulties, therefore, how can we speak of "cure" and what does that word mean, anyway. Instead of the word "cure" we need to think in terms of "coping better." Don't you think??

I look forward to responses.

Allan:)

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Hi Goose and everyone,

I agree with DavidO about the issue of "cure." The fact is that life goes on and, therefore, we always go through period when life can become challenging. It is inevitable that we will face losses, financial difficulties, health problems, quarrels, and other difficulties, therefore, how can we speak of "cure" and what does that word mean, anyway. Instead of the word "cure" we need to think in terms of "coping better." Don't you think??

I look forward to responses.

Allan:)

"coping better" terrific. Although I know Allen is correct, it is a challenge to cope and do it in healthy ways, instead those that are self detructive . Trading coping methods that are unhealthy, one way for the other. example. I laid off drinking, yet, now I am overeating. I stopped overeating, but now , I am smoking a pack and a half a day. And so on >

Is this mean I am cured ? no . I know I do this in real life all the time . Coping , :) I numb out, don't remember things, or what I am doing a lot of times . I SI , what is thought to be a form of coping, however, sometimes , severely SI, which is I believe diffferent then just a little SI, A major SI that can Kill me, however , as long as nobdy thinks it is to die , it is still SI, I do it to "cope" yep, great, thats wonderful.

I want to die, so I cope by severely Si'ing, and not saying it , the words. what a joke. I understand the concept, of copoing, we ALL find and need ways in our lives to survive when having a difficult day. some of us sleep too much, sometimes, we turn to fast driving, or road rage, aggressive behavior, taking out our frustations onto each other or ourselves, COPING.

Positive coping, going for a run, or to the gym, something like that, see if it works , get all that energy out . In a positive way. Do not beat somebody up, just channel it in a way to that it does not hurt anyone or yourself.

Personality Disorders , are deeply engrained behaviors a person has in them that are maladaptive, which causes significant stress in a individuals life . Their are several personality disorders. Some are pretty scary , and are the kind of peopple I would not want to ever meet.

They say people with Personality Disorders can change and get over them > hummm .Stil waiting to "get over mine? " or out grow it? wonder when that will happen?? I do not think about it much, cause it has been said once too many times over yrs, by different Dr's , yet what I've read about it , it's suppose to be cureable , and that has not happend , YET. WTF. pissess me off . Hate the labels or the term . Guess I like the idea more about how to cope better in positive ways .

Thanks Allen.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Mscat,

Just to clarify, we aim to cope better but all of us fall back to doing self destructive things sometimes. The idea is to reduce the number of times we fall back. There is no perfection in this life. In fact, striving to cope better and knowing you are trying is often more rewarding than to what degree you succeed. In other words, it's the journey that is most important.

Allan :D

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I just feel that if I am making this huge effort to manage my condition and I do cope better. Why then should I still be labeled with a 'Personality Disorder'.

Much as you might say to disregard the label, when it has been assigned to you it is ever present in your consious or unconscious mind. I do not resent the diagnosis - I agree with it, it makes perfect sense of how I am.

Perhaps it is the word 'disorder' that I dislike, I would prefer personality trait.

Goose

p.s. I have just realised that wanting everything to be perfect is part of avpd. So I shall now tip-toe away and keep my mouth shut .................?????? :-)

Edited by goose
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Meh. So you've got a label pasted on you that says "Personality Disorder"?

Just get another label, and if you can stand looking a bit messy (I had to avoid the word 'disorderly'), write whatever you want on the new label and paste it over the old one. ;-)

I don't expect any of us will ever be perfect (though some of us will continue to try in vain), but at least we can call ourselves whatever we want. It even helps us to make it come true. You are who you are. That may mean life will always be a struggle, but hey. That's about par for the course. The only reason for getting a diagnosis is to help figure out what to struggle with. You're not required to paste it on your forehead.

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Malign despite looking in the dictionary and the thesaurus I can't find a meaning for 'meh' - could you enlighten me please :D

I shall now try to take a leaf out of my daughter's book. She has dyslexia, and she fully embraces it, uses it unashamedly to her full advantage. Shouts about it from the rooftops, tells everyone that she is special - doesn't take herself too seriously.

My daughter today along with 50,000 others got her leaving certificate results, she did very well (an A1 in English despite her dyslexia). She has been bouncing around the house like a demented bunny all day - she is an inspiration.

I'm still thinking about that new label for my forehead, mmm what shall I choose????

Goose

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It must be a word: Homer Simpson used it! :-P

(I also hear it will appear in a new edition of one of the big dictionaries.)

It's just a vocal shrug.

I think "Demented Bunny" would be appropriate. :-)

It would also be a great name for a rock band.

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It must be a word: Homer Simpson used it! :-P

(I also hear it will appear in a new edition of one of the big dictionaries.)

It's just a vocal shrug.

I think "Demented Bunny" would be appropriate. :-)

It would also be a great name for a rock band.

U always crack me up , way to go malign :D

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You could have interchangeable labels, some for good days and some for bad days. You could think of it as a warning to others. ;-)

But I think we need a picture of how 'Demented Bunny' looks in practice. Your goose is great, but she's too prim and proper to be 'Demented Bunny'.

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I'm always considering people's Avatar and signature... what it means to the author and what it conveys (intentional or not) to the world. Some of our signatures are diminutive and meek others a bit more assertive... Would Nelson Mandela suggest:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”

My apologies if this post sounds a bit calloused and insensitive, this is not my intent.

Edited by David O
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I would like to paraphrase David, because he's so good at paraphrasing me:

You, too, can be a Demented Bunny!

I like it.

Goose, malign has actually done something quiet brilliant here and it slipped thru and (I wish I would have thot of this) none of us caught it. He approached your issue (and that of so many) from an inventor-explorer's eye: by changing knowledge and perspective ( which is what Gutenberg did when he saw how grapes were pressed to make wine-- wallah, along came the printing press and movable type!), he changed the rules.

For example, how can 2 people stand on the same piece of newspaper, directly facing each other, unrestrained, but still not be able to touch each other? Think about this for awhile then scroll down.

Put the newspaper beneath a door and close it with each person on the other side of the door! A mental lock stops people from looking at an issue creatively and therefore a solution seldom emerges. We are frequently imprisoned-- caged by the need to have the right answer when a different answer may be the ticket.

On another note: Malign, so is that Goose or me that should have a signature that says DEMENTED BUNNY? ??? :):D

Edited by David O
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If db stands for "el diablo or the devil (or does it mean dead beat?).... my family would agree, but only to el diablo! I'm sort of like Clark Kent when at work and here. But in shorts, sandals and my claasic Cubañera shirt in the weekends, they think I'm el loco sin cabeza (the man w/o a brain)! I always liked Don Quixote from Man of La Mancha (Man with a Blemish).

I think, however, that what they react to (they are American and I'm 1st generation immigrant with very heavy cultural Latin American roots and views) are my mannerisms, enunciation, word mixtures and confusions at times, worldview and comments (think Ricky Ricardo with a baritone voice). I talk too much, can't sit still for too long, sleep <5 hours per night, tell tall tales all day, and can't sing or dance for sh!t!!!:):D But, I have mucho fun!

hahhahaha... just caught it-- db means demented bunny!! hey, been up since 4AM and it's already showing! I should go to work now.

Ciao baby!

David

Edited by David O
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I could take this show on the road as a motivational speaker:

"Learn the Way of the Demented Bunny!

Unleash your Inner Wabbit!

Just send me $9.95 plus shipping and handling and I'll give you an in-depth look at the latest trend in therapy: Demented Bunny Behavioral Therapy."

I'd give seminars like "Hop Your Cares Away" and "Have You Got a Wild Hare In You?" People would flock to my teachings; I'd go on talk shows; meet the President.

But then the medical community would denounce me as a charlatan. The government would investigate my finances, and I would be ruined.

And all of you would have known me when ...

[Portions of this story adapted from the Who's "Tommy".]

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What have I started?????:)

I think that the original 'DB' ie. my 18 year old daughter Sinead should feature in any dvd or video you produce as an example of how this is manifested. :)

Seriously the humour in this thread has totally overcome my original worry about a cure. Thanks for that malign.

Goose

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Goosey, the only reason for injecting any humor into it at all, for me, was that I believe that humor is the cure. ;-)

Sinead, of course, would be required to demonstrate proper technique, and you and 'finding' could help me with publicity. There's room for everybody in DBBT.

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