To Allan

[sadgreeneyes]

Hi Allan, I just need to say I did confront my abuser for the last time today in a serious way I have never done before. And wrote him that is real life.

I needed to do it to take control over my life and it was important for me to tell him or I wouldn´t feel better and he would still think he is the one who has control. I just want to say that it makes me feel much better because it makes me feel "I" am the one who has control now. And to know he knows it makes me feel powerful. It makes me doing much better coping with this situation because I am not sitting and waiting anymore like I am sure he always has thought. He doesn´t have control now.

Is it wrong of me to feel so powerful taking control and telling him the truth? because I feel very relieved by doing what I did, to take control over my life this way. It feels good.

Edited August 12, 2009 by sadgreeneyes

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Sadgreeneyes,

No, you are not wrong to feel strong. It is always better to take positive action. You siezed the initiative instead of waiting around for him. Good for you.

Now, forget him. Do not wait for any response. Close the book and do not let him regain control. Leave it and move on with your life because you are now ready to.

I am very proud of you. You have my full and complete support.

Allan

[sadgreeneyes]

Hi Allan,

thank you!

The truth is I am not ready to move on and forget how he treated me, but I am ready to keep NC and do my best to take care of myself. I still have emotional pain and I just wanted to sound strong for my abuser. And to feel more powerful. I feel powerful, but it doesn´t mean I´m not struggling. I will struggle a long time. This strong side of me was first of all to show my abuser I am in control. It will take time before I can forget what he did to me. I am a person who usually ignore my true feelings and pain and I did for a long time think he might talk to me and change, I was in denial. It is more now I start to see and feel the truth and I can feel my pain is coming closer to the surface and it is painful. I don´t expect any response from him, but at least I then see how little he really cared for me. Maybe when I see that it will be easier for me to move on. I think that is the reason for telling my abuser the truth too, so I can see how little he cares. Then I don´t have to feel bad for moving on either.

I will do my best

Hi Sadgreeneyes,

No, you are not wrong to feel strong. It is always better to take positive action. You siezed the initiative instead of waiting around for him. Good for you.

Now, forget him. Do not wait for any response. Close the book and do not let him regain control. Leave it and move on with your life because you are now ready to.

I am very proud of you. You have my full and complete support. :)

Allan

Edited August 12, 2009 by sadgreeneyes