not angry at all tho!

[dangerdog17]

hey-

i read your article about small penis syndrome, for sure i got it. im 40, never had a real girlfriend, and i visit prostitutes (but ALWAYS have had safe sex, in fact, i never had unprotected sex with a girl!)

i work out all the time, and i almost never see guys with a small penis in the gym, ever. maybe you see 2 a year, out of the hundreds and hundreds of guys walking around the lockers naked.

i have confided in a few girl-friends that i have a small penis. their replies were amusing. i told 5 girls i think. 2 said, 'what about surgery?' then they realized it was shallow to say that, and tried to console me.

2 said, 'ive never been with a guy with a small penis, thankfully.' yes, they added the THANKFULLY. pretty embarrassing.

1 girl told me she was in love with a guy with a small penis, and he dumped her. and she told me to just go get a girlfriend.

now, the problem is, i figure about 50% of the girls want a bigger penis, 50% do not care. the problem is, that means you have a 50-50 chance the girl is not going to like you when you pull down your pants. those odds suck. and that means, you have a 50-50 chance the girl will make fun of you afterwards. (considering how men talk about sex afterwards with their friends, i can only imagine its the same with women.) since this is the one thing i do not want anyone knowing, it makes it tough to date. maybe i should just fly to some new town, like new york city for the week, and try and meet girls i will never see again! lol.

i have been with prostitutes who have laughed at me when i pulled down my pants. again, no joke. but the majority of prostitutes have told me i am fine, size wise. but i am paying those girls to make me happy, so it is still stressful to consider if they are telling the truth.

i was once on a date with a girl, who i finally built up the nerve to try and make a move on. she goes to talk to one of her friends, and she says to this girl, 'im a size queen.' needless to say, i never tried to make a move on that girl. and later on, she sort of confided in my she had feelings, but i could not do a thing, because she is a size queen.

BUT the most important thing is this. i realize im screwed. im trying to get as ripped as possible, to see if getting rid of my 'fat pad' will help my penis get bigger. but chances are slim there. i have humiliated myself and made a few appointments with plastic surgeons, and most told me they could not liposuction out the fatpad.

even with the fatpad gone, i will not be the average size i personally observed. i do not know what it is like around other places, but where i live, the average size is probably 7 inches. i am not a scientist, and i am reading some website about penis sizes. i am telling you, i have personally only seen a handful of guys with a small penis in all my years at the gym. maybe that means men with small penises do not work out? who knows. but in the gyms i have attended, the average size is 7 inches. and i have seen hundreds of penises which are bigger than mine, and those guys are flaccid. their flaccid penis is bigger than mine at full mast. that sucks as well.

i am not angry with girls, why should i be? i just been dealt a cruddy hand is all. i do not go to social events where i am expected to bring a date, because i cannot get a date. (i have no clue how to get girls to like me!) i have asked a few prostitutes to go on dates with me. if you want a dedicated date, it will cost you 1500 bucks or so. if i get rich, i know i am going to use that option.

but i am objective. i meet hundreds of girls a year, i get dozens of phone numbers. i just do not call them anymore. i have been on dates with girls, and because i do not know how to seduce a girl, girls have asked me if i was gay. that was humiliating as well.

so even tho i meet girls, dating is pretty much done. but the reason i am posting this, is because i just want to clear up that im assuming other men with my condition do not hate or are angry with girls or life. i have tons of friends, i work out regularly, and those things boost my endorphin levels. and i keep myself busy, so i am not reminded of the fact i might very well be alone my entire life.

but i do not blame girls for my problem. i do not blame anyone! of course i wish i was a player, a 'cocksmen' or even just a romantic fool. but i compare it as if you are paralyzed from the legs down yet you want to run a marathon. as much as you want to run that marathon, (on legs, not in a wheelchair) you cannot run the marathon, because of an unfortunate stroke of luck.

its the same thing with a small penis. i WISH i could have girlfriends, could have a wife, etc. but its too stressful. so i can either get angry, depressed, etc about it. or i can try and ignore it, get rich, and try and work around not having a girlfriend.

but getting angry with anyone is as pointless as wishing there was a way to make my penis bigger. basically, im doomed if i do, doomed if i do not. so since im doomed either way, why get angry with anyone, except myself and my dastardly genes!

if you are angry and depressed. i suggest you immediately- like TOMORROW start working out 1 hour a day minimum, 7 days a week. this will cheer you up, and make you think clearer.

working out is just as effective as any anti-depressant! that is a fact! so get to the gym ASAP.

you have to think objectively. and if you are getting emotional over YOUR problems, you need to work out so you can swing your head back to objectivity. objectivity is great.

do not get me wrong, it SUCKS to not hook up. it sucks every day! but working out and keeping busy helps me get thru it. and i am never angry with anyone other than myself.

[David O]

Good morning Dangerdog17,

Welcome to the "family"-- I think you wrote a courageous, bold and revealing post.

Our worries as men and about our penis size have spawned unusual beliefs. For example, police in the Democratic Republic of Congo recently arrested suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men’s penises. The rumors spread quickly via radio and TV talk shows, and soon there was a frenetic reaction that resulted in calls that males should not sit in taxis by other men who may be wearing gold rings. Believers claimed that a sorcerer had to only touch another's genital area and their penis would shrink. The final catch... many men wearing gold rings would use the unfounded threat to extort money from other men by either promising to restore their penis to its natural size or shrink it if they didn't pay up. The fascinating part of the police report was that when victims were straightly informed that their penis was still there and that nothing had changed, the "victims" claimed it had shrunk significantly and that now they were impotent. Their impotence had become an ingrained (and only after a few days of this going around) belief so powerful that the men refused to have sex with their wives, fearing that their their shrunken penis might not satisfy their partner.

Some cultures have the most bizarre practices to enhance their penis size-- the Topinama of Brazil use venomous snakes to bite their penises to enlarge them for six months! The Indian Sadhus men hang small weights to increase the length of their penis! The Dayak of Borneo pierce the glans of their penis and insert items into the holes to stimulate their partner. In Korea, Viet Nam, China, Cambodia and other Asian countries, tiger poaching has been attributed partially to the belief that the eating of dried tiger penis will both increase libido and enlarge the penis.

No matter how many times we men hear that women are much more interested in a man’s personality and looks than the size of his penis (hundreds of research articles on this phenomena exist and some date back to the 1940's), us men remain dense and anxious, and can't seem to believe this. In some regards, we may be no more rational, realistic and logical in this department than the Asians who eat dried tiger penis, or the Topimana whose penises are bitten by snakes to make them swell, or the Sadhus who use hand weights on their penises to enlarge them, or even of those Congolese who believe in sorcery!

I would never want to diminish or discount someone's very real issues of having a micropenis and what it means, and I think that men do suffer greatly when confronted by this. However, what maybe does need to be said is that we fail to understand at times (and this is a gender issue) that most women, by the time they see our penis, are already attached to who we are and have already made up their mind about us, regardless of penis size! While the women have arrived at a conclusion that their partners penis size sexually satisfies them, many men hold rigid, inflexible and nearly obsessive thoughts that don't allow them to listen carefully to what their partner is saying, and so they are no more advanced in their thinking and beliefs than men from the Congo area, Asia, Brazil, India and other cultures.

One interesting finding in much of the literature was that women are significantly more satisfied with their partner's penis than the men are-- so maybe, much more is between our ears (where the real aphrodisiac lies) than between our legs. But, many males will never know b/c their need to be right (I'm 100% sure I have a small penis) is greater than their need to be happy, and as such, avoid sexual contact and intimacy. As a consequence, is it possible that most men with so called "small penises" reject themselves so no one else can do it or before anyone else will?

Does anyone else see this differently? I realize this is a sensitive subject, so I ask only that in your responses, you be respectful if you disagree.

Edited August 19, 2009 by David O

[IrmaJean]

I hope that it is okay for me to reply in here from a woman's perspective. My personal opinion would be that if a woman ever treats you the way these women did, dangerdog17, then clearly you haven't found the right woman for you. Loving anyone completely means loving and appreciating their whole person. So that means every part of you...regardless of shape, size or appearance, is a part of you and makes you who you are. And that would be everything to love about someone. Love ,to me, is really about knowing someone and appreciating who they are. Everything is a piece of your puzzle and should be cherished as such. This goes the same with personality traits as well. That's my opinion about it anyhow. There are women out there who won't pass judgments about your anatomy, but will appreciate everything about you because it makes you who you are. Keep looking and maybe one day you'll find the loving mate that you deserve.

I can relate in a way (I understand that it isn't close to the same thing) being fairly flat-chested myself and having all the images of supermodels with perfect bodies everywhere. I think it becomes easy to slip into a pattern of comparing ourselves with others. Inevitably, there will always be something that we perceive someone else having as better than what we've been given. I think in the end it comes down to accepting ourselves for who we are and respecting that. For myself personally, the size, shape and appearance of a man's penis would not matter either way. Being that it is a part of him I would love it. What would matter to me would be the way of his heart and what kind of person he was. I would never ever make fun of anyone for that. I'm sorry that you have run into so much insensitivity during your lifetime, but don't give up on us women just yet. There are some out there who will love you for all of you.

I hope I have not written anything upsetting. I understand that it is very painful for you. I am very sorry for your pain. Talking about things can be helpful. I hope everyone feels better.

[David O]

Irmajean,

Thanks so much for your honest and sensitive reply. It's a strange thing we have all around. There are men whose penis size is an issue to them and no matter how many times women iterate that it's the hue, texture, color and complexion of the heart that matters, all they here is PENIS SIZE MATTERS!

I remember an interview with Julia Roberts several years ago. At one point she complained about the shape of her nose and her lips. In other interviews with stunningly beautiful women around the world, even millions of doting admirers could not convince them that they were beautiful in all ways or that the body part they complained about was incomprehensible to the world. The cover of Sports Illustrated or Vogue, or even being crowned Ms. Brazil or Ms. Italy or Ms. US somehow does not remove a self imposed blemish.

I have what I consider to be the most beautiful wife-- beautiful in ways she never could imagine. She is 5'3" and weighs about 112lbs. She is also brilliant (an accomplished attorney), soulful, spiritual, warm, gentle, kind, compassionate, fascinating, fathomless, an excellent conversationalist, witty... the list is endless. But, she will occasionally ask me if she's too fat, or whether her behind is too large, or something else that directly contradicts what is tangibly and visibly not possible.

All of this to say that it seems our own beliefs too often supersede reality. I'm not suggesting that a small penis is not an issue, what I am saying is that we need to sometimes separate reality from perception by replacing heat with light!