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Needing some advice, urgently!


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I will try and get straight to a situation that has been bothering me for some time now. I have been having problems with a girl acquaintance that I know.

As some of you are aware, I ended up back in hospital a few weeks ago. After a 3wks stay in there, I was allowed home on the condition that I try and rest and stop worrying about everything/everyone(easier said than done).

After being home for just one day, I received a visitor, which was this girl acquaintance. (You will discover why I call her a girl acquaintance, after reading through the finished post). First of all, she asked "how I was?" I told her fine considering my stay in hospital, along with my conditions on being let home. After about half an hour, this girl then started telling me her own problems. (this I could do without but... didn't have the heart to tell her)

To cut a long story short, this girl kept phoning my house phone/mobile phone at all hours. she wouldn't leave me alone, even though I had just come out of hospital. If I ignored her phone calls, she would then come up to my house banging on the door. I didn't want to report her to the Police, as she was going through a rough time of her own, and only had me to talk to, so she said?

Eventually, I told this girl in as nice a way as possible, that if she was a friend like she said she was, then... she would not burden me with all this? I may as well of talked to a brick wall as far as any notice was followed!

It got to the stage where I even took her to the hospital, after her telling me that she felt Suicidal and her having two young girls aged 6/7 yrs old, that she was contemplating throwing herself of the bridge in front of her children. The hospital wanted to admit her but, she would not go in.

She had also started drinking everyday from waking up to going to bed. I was at my wits end. She was having problems with her marriage as well as family problems.

This has made me more depressed than I was and have told the Crisis Team, who visit me on a daily basis. They have told me that I have got to tell this girl once and for all, that she will have to try and get professional help, as I am not qualified in this area. I explained that I have already tried this and the girl is refusing to accept the help she needs.

How do you tell someone who rely' on talking to someone in a worst position than their self, that without being cruel, you can do without all the hassle that this lot is causing you?

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thank you.

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Guest GingerSnap

I have known people like this and they don't take a hint. They use you as the sounding board and I would think they would take my advice but they didn't and they are back with the same problems. I would tell her in a nice way and if that doesn't work, I would not be so nice - just frankly tell her that I am not in the position to handle this right now and I needed to take care of me right now - she'll most likely just find someone else to torture - aren't these people called "emotional vampires"? There just becomes a point where you have to draw the line and not feel guilty about it. You deserve this, don't feel guilty.

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