Socially awkward

[Ob1one]

I have aspergers but when it comes to being social I'm not nearly as bad as I used to. But, when it comes to moments when there's feelings like someone says something like I'm really proud of you or one moment in my life that actually touched was in a camp where a good friend told me that when he fought in the army he'd want me covering his back. But when those moments come for me its awkward because I don't know how to react. I'm not an emotional guy. So when someone says something like they're proud of me I say thank you then all I'm thinking is okay what now? Or Heaven have mercy if someone is crying on my shoulder which does happen then I'm thinking okay how long should I stay here? Should I just wait it out? What if something comes up should I leave? No I can't leave? should I be shedding a tear though I don't feel any in there.

As an aspy its difficult for people to share their emotions with me and then me to respond is very difficult. I can't imagine when I'm married and my wife wants an intimate moment shes giving me googly eyes and I'm staring at the moon because another thing about being an aspy is that they have a hard time looking into peoples eyes even though many people have that problem.

Also this one is another problem unrelated so this is kinda a part 2. Well I guess this does count as socially awkward just in a different way. So I sing for a praise and worship team and sometimes I feel like the female side see me somewhat as a gigolo. It's like I'm a man and there are about 4 very beautiful women there plus 2 guys so sometimes I feel like some of the women are uncomfortable around me because I'm a man so its like they'd think I'm looking or thinking of them inappropriately when I'm not. It's even worse because one of the women there I love and she doesn't know it so it makes it even more difficult knowing they may be nervous around me when I want them to be calm and loose and know I'm there to help or talk because I really just want to bond with all of the male and female praise and worshipers. How really do you act around women to make them well not worry about things around you just to make a more peaceful environment. I know I also wouldn't understand this being yet again an aspy. Don't worry I don't convince myself that I have these problems because someone said I'm an aspy that's not the problem, normally I'm not thinking about aspergers I'm just telling you this to understand my mental (somewhat) condition.