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good guys finish last


OCDmom
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Why is it that I feel that in order to survive in the real world I have to become bad? Because I've been looking at my father's life and the lives of other people. My father has been a good provider to his family, but working in the corporate world changed him somehow. It's like he's picked up some bad habits along the way. He sometimes says things and then forgets ever having said them and it gets to the point that he is upset and defensive about it. I have experienced this and so has my mother. So it got me thinking: is it really like that in the corporate world? Do good guys really finish last? Do they ever finish at all?:confused:

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Hi OCDMom,

This has been the age-old question! I was a political appointee to 3 governors in 2 states nearly 20 years ago, and I was at one point a CEO and at another point had oversight of 3 psychiatric hospitals at one time. I greatly enjoyed the "power' and prestige with the positions and often exercised some muscle to get things done. I know that in this setting, productivity and performance are often superseded by politics and psychology. In the end, it wasn't always (sometimes it was tho) the honest and good guys that were promoted or whose ideas were most sought after, it was the chameleons, the politically savvy, those in the know and those who were connected well that seemed to rise quickly.

It doesn't have to be this way tho, it just seems to be the dominant formula or the one most seen by others.

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The issue does not necessarily involve the good and the bad, but what skill sets one has. People may have great ideas, but they lack the social skills or preparation to represent their ideas to others, and the humility to recognise that they need help. When such circumstances exist, I agree that it is truly regrettable, but it is also quite a leap to conclude that these sorts of events are good or bad.

Your father may very well be a wonderful man. He has learned to handle the stresses of corporate life, for better or worse, provided for his family, and contributed to the community. Certainly, there may be a lot left desired that your father can work on, but it is really up to him to come to that conclusion. Thus, if your father behaves in a manner that the rest of the family cannot approve of, it is best to consider him as in a world of his own, and to learn how to deal with him on that basis.

When your father 'brings his work' home, he runs the risk of being jaded in the sense that he also brings ideas from his workplace to the family. This may have its benefits as the family can benefit from whatever he has learned. However, the two contexts have their differences, and not all that one learned in one context will work in the other. Once you can appreciate how your father blurs the two contexts to the point where he becomes a source of snarky remarks and poor behaviour, then, over long periods of time, he becomes something of a twisted – even wounded - beast.

Such beasts are everywhere. They lash out at those closest to them in ways that are hurtful and offensive, but they are the ones who are small and weak. Worst of all, they cannot appreciate that they can do better. It's a pity, really.

To answer your question, I think everyone finishes. How people finish makes all the difference though.

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Yeah, my thought is, the business world may not reward "good guys". Good guys may have to reward themselves.

Another way to put it is that there are many "good/bad" scales. On the scales that are used by the business world, some people do better than others, some traits are rewarded more highly than others. On other scales, a different set of traits are important. It's up to each of us to choose which scale we want to be measured by, and then do our best to improve on that scale. But it's your choice what scale you want to use. If you want to be the best darned hippy there ever was, that's perfectly fine. Just don't expect to succeed or be happy in the business world. :-)

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Thank you for your replies, everyone.

Kaudio, I like what you said about my father---wounded. THAT's what he is. And you're right, he did everything he could, but that doesn't mean that there won't be anymore issues.

I am just resentful of all those people who play dirty just to get 'ahead.' For instance in my country, the voice over artist industry is being monopolized by the same people. These people create workshops not to welcome new talents but to prevent the competition from getting ahead of them. I tried inquiring into one of these workshops and they never mentioned that they would help place me with voice over projects. They only mentioned that the graduates of their workshops are offered jobs for hosting events. They never said anything about the graduates possibly getting tapped for the same job offers that THEY are getting. There was even a youtube video which showed these guys doing a voice over, and they called it Filipino Dubbing 101. The funny thing is, the title isn't appropriate. What tips? What advice? What comments? It's just a video clip of voice over artists in action (if you would call them 'artists').

From what I've seen so far they are nothing but self-preserving self-profiteering guys who don't care about anyone else but themselves.:mad:

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