A Strange Question, A Comparison?

[Guest GingerSnap]

OK, this question has bothered me for awhile and I have never seen it addressed before. When my husband was growing up his family got television before mine did like 5 years before (so, I'm very good at entertaining myself). His mother used to watch romance shows all the time and he was, of course, there with her as an only child for his first 7 years so he likes to watch romantic movies, they make me barf, and I have been asking him, "Is that what you wish you had?" and he says "Yes." and, well, I have a few different responses which I won't share. For the question, you're thinking, finally, I know that someone can condition themselves by watching porn to certain "tastes" but, what about watching romantic movies would it not have a similar effect in having unrealistic notions about real life which is obviously not romance movies . I am very serious. What do you think?

Edited August 27, 2009 by GingerSnap

[paula]

Hi GingerSnap

For the question, you're thinking, finally, I know that someone can condition themselves by watching porn to certain "tastes" but, what about watching romantic movies would it not have a similar effect in having unrealistic notions about real life which is obviously not romance movies . I am very serious. What do you think?

I suppose your husband could be thinking if this was reality and not just a movie? In my eyes generations have changed and we have moved on so... we have got to move on with the times. People are only as loving as they want to be and will only accept love when they want to. I hope I'm not going off the subject to much?

[David O]

Good question Gingersnap,

They're just beginning to publish research in this area and what is being suggested is that things such as aggression, watching aggressive video games, porn, and other similar activities stimulate the brain's reward centers. The dopamine's involved in this rewarding affect in the same areas of the brain that's rewarding for drugs, alcohol, gambling, food and sex (Rock and Roll is still not there tho). It is now being suggested that bullying also releases Dopmaine into the pleasure centers. This is a simplified explanation, my thinking is that at some point we will reading about other chemicals involved also.

The sad truth is that porn may actually have a greater stimulating effect on Dopamine than romance.

Hope this helps. Ciao

[IrmaJean]

I really enjoy romances, but only if they are believable and done well. Most, to me, are not.

I've read studies which indicate that the romantic phase of love is a stage that is fueled by dopamine released in the brain. Dopamine creates feelings of bliss and euphoria. I think this response is at least in part a biological response put in place in order to perpetuate our species. You feel high and focus your attention on this one person. You might not behave in the same way you normally would.

As to your question, well I would see escaping into these types of movies as more of a fantasy type of thing. It's something I might do myself after a particularly stressful day. There is a desire in me for a gentler type of world and watching the movies might be a way of dreaming for an hour or so that things can be better. I should admit that when actor and actress are "clicking" together and the chemistry is right, I find them pleasurable to watch. I prefer a romance that focuses on love, rather than sex, though. Love, to me, is more about hope.

David O: The sad truth is that porn may actually have a greater stimulating effect on Dopamine than romance.

I think that would really depend upon the person and what the individual personally finds pleasurable. Men are usually more visual from what I've read so might, in general, be more stimulated by porn than most woman. Romance to me is more of an "idea" and porn is more "concrete", so naturally I'm going to go for romance.

I guess I'm off-topic, but I find this stuff interesting. My H prefers to watch violent type of movies. What I wouldn't give for him to be a big fan of romances, lol. It's fantasy and must be kept in perspective, I suppose, but watching doesn't personally make me expect the world to be that way. Maybe it's the same for your H?

[Guest GingerSnap]

My husband thought that perhaps his forcing his fetish on me against my will and not releasing me might have been triggered by the turn on of the violent movies. We had problems with our younger son with Down syndrome wanting to hurt me (really bad) and one night I got up in the middle of the night and destroyed all of the games and movies he had with violence in them - you bet it made a difference and I keep him monitored all the time. We're getting ready to have a yard sale - anyone up for some violent or romantic movies? Time to "get real". Thanks

[JaneE]

I can relate, I think.

My husband likes French movies... which imho, are just more intellectual versions of porn. They feature quite explicit sex scenes and a lot of angsting about 'relationships' (ie lovers, usually young). I detest romantic movies, I detest porn, and yes, I detest these French movies too, for all their 'artistic' value, nice scenery and all that supposedly great stuff. It just seems like a glorified "chick flick" to me, and I can't stand it, all the snogging and naked people pretending to hump just seriously gags me. How is this supposed to be intellectual???

The worst of it is he wants to watch this stuff with our son, who's only 9? Help!!

Movies are a big sore spot in this household. He hates everything I like, which is mostly kids' movies, albeit the more intelligent ones (no Hannah Montana, lol); fantasy or scifi. He just wants French people dragging their slimy arses around.

So... I hear ya.

Jane