Question

[SweetSue]

hey donna

The cpn your saw dosnt sound very knowledgable or helpful. Is there any chance you can get a second oppinion ?

Its dosnt seem right that he dosnt know how to refere you to a therapist or counceller for one to one sessions. its common practise in there line of work surely ?

Seriously his mannerism is out of order, i would complain, and insist on seeing someone else, Someone that does give a damn what you are going through. It is your right.

Ive had a few run ins with cpns some come accross as over bossy and there way or no way. There are some good ones though.

take care, hope you feel a little better soon, hun

sue

[mscat]

Donna,

What a mess I do not even know what a cpn is.... But whatever they do, this guy is NOT helping you provide services at all. Your back to where you were ....

How frustrating . One thing that did caught my attention was your Laxative abuse. Because I went through a bout of that myself , what happens is that if you drop to low in weight , and are still doing that to your body, your electrolyes will be thrown off so badly it can send you into a coma , worse brain damage , and never wake up again. When you mentioned that BMI is low , this is serious as well , on top of the Lax abuse , you really ought to NOT be doing this to yourself ..... I got to a point where I had to stop the lax abuse , it kept throwing my electrolye's off and sending me to the ER , on several occasions , + i had to always be monietered be a Dr. for potassium levels. Just heads up for you hun.

The ED I had lasted over * yrs , which placed me in a wheel chair. Bad thing about it , was I really never new I was that ill. But always cold. That I knew.

I have BPD as well , but the ED went the other way, meaning I am a fatty now, LOL. Gave it up after my son was born, however , The ED had it's bad health effects to this day, over 20 yrs later. lost a bunch of teeth and messed up my teeth, actually LOST teeth, and messed up my stomach.

Anyhow, It sucks that it seems like the people that are suppose to be helping you are going around in circles. That is unfair .It is lke they have no idea what to do.

Treat the ED , or the BPD ? What do you want to be treated for first? What is most important for you ? Don't you have a say in this ? Personally, I absolutely hated group sessions , during ED . I still hate them. DBT is the same damn way as well.

I am a stay to myself person. I do not find any help at all in group sessions, listening to others talking about their problems.

But that is just me. ....

[SweetSue]

hey cathy

cpn = community psychiatric nurse

Edited October 25, 2009 by SweetSue
spelling as per usual

[Donna]

hi Sue,

There doesnt seem to be anyone else to see, i live in a large city but there isnt anything, i once asked to see someone else but was told that that they would all say the same.

Ive decided im just going to discharge myself because it was a waste of time and cost me quite a bit in taxi fares because while i live in a city my actual locality is a small village and there is no bus route.

Though im pretty certain they do have things other than the group therapy because it was mentioned to me a cpl of years ago.

hi mscat,

I dont want help with the Ed, it sounds kind of twisted you probably understand ,and i know all the risks and have had health problems arrythmia,hallucinations,cold,bruising etc in the past when my weight and bmi (13 i think) was considered extremely low but i need it and although it can make life hard it also makes me feel better, the ED psych eventually agreed she wouldnt admit me and believed it would be safer for me to get help with the BPD first, provided i maintain a certain weight/bmi (extremely hard) be weighed regularly by my gp (ive managed to stop that lol) and try to work on my r/ship with food :confused: but its open ended and i can go back to the ed hosp if i want.

My weight is high now 93lbs and bmi 17 (which is very difficult for me to accept) and my health is better recent tests showed my heart is ok b/p much higher bloodcell counts pottasium levels etc much better so im not worried about my health.

although i admit i am slipping and getting back into some bad habits again.

The laxes i slowly cut down on as i was advised to day but without them i have problems bad stomach pains,blockage (sorry if thats tmi) etc unfortunatly i cant even use the herbal ones as they do not help,ive tried psyllium husk instead but no help so im back up to 20 but thats better than the 40 a day i was taking. Im rambling again sorry!

i think maybe the cpns etc believe im a 'lost cause' or dont really need help and it's pointless them wasting their limited resources and time on me.

people who know me think im not being honest with the so called 'proffesionals'' and thats why i dont get anywhere but i have been very open and honest which is not easy in fact i find it very stressful and tiring.

its not helping that people are judging and doubting me, for once i have gone for help off my own bat and not for other people and it makes me angry because i am very frustrated with them so my moods are getting even lower if thats possible! i know people mean well but they dont realise they are making me feel very alone and it will result as always with me pushing them away.which will make them angry then me colder..and the cycle just continues

sorry for whinging but im feeling bad today havnt slept again and rambling here keeps my mind occupied and is a place to vent.

thankyou both for replying it means a lot, especally when everyone else doubts me

[SweetSue]

Hey Donna you dont live near me do ya ?

I have to get cabs everywhere as well, we only have a post office and a pub in this village, the bus route is (well i dont know, i have never seen one round here). theres a village scool that my maisy goes to, theres 40 kids in the whole school, age groups 4~11

you cant sneeze round here without the whole vullage knowing about it. i only came home last night and already the neighbours curtains are twitching.

There must be something we can think of that could help you, theres got to be a way that you can get the hhelp you need. Maybe one of the Pro's on this site knows of something ?

Have you tried, phoning that nhs helpline direct, they could suggest something.

Proffesionals, have a habbit of reading into things wrongly, not all, but some. It dosnt help when they dont believe you. All I can say is, keep seeing them, email them , phone them, heck just turn up at there offices till someone takes you seriously. Maybe if you make a bit of a nuesance of yourself they will help you. They usually will, i saw that often enough when i was in hospital, if you create a fuss, you get sorted out quicker, it souunds stupid, but it is kinda true.

Donna we are all here for you, hopefully someone can give you some cool advice that can help. We are listening and will help anyway we can, even if it is like me, just waffling on and not making much sense. I hope you dont feel quite so alone, were here for you

Take care hun

sue

[Donna]

thanks

originally i called nhs direct when i was having a particularly bad day and was scared,she told me to contact my gp who would put me in touch with a counsellor.

im not very good at making a fuss or being assertive no matter how much i tell myself i will, the only time i can do that is if i get really angry and frustrated and it's never productive,just convinces people im totally mad ungrateful and a pain in the backside lol luckily it takes quite a lot for me to get that way with anyone i dont really know, i tend to feel a bit intimidated by anyone whith some form or authority and more of a sorry to bother you type person.

i think i will go back to my gp though how i'll get the confidence to actually say anything im not sure.

[SweetSue]

hey donna

youll find the confidence, you are much stronger than you think :-)

good luck at the gp's hope that they listen to you, and help you this time

take care

sue