Everything "smaller"

[nearlydead]

Sorry I was not clearly discerning between my definition of the difference between long-term relationship and girlfriend. I have heard and read about guys like us having girlfriends but from what I have heard from women, they are not open to anything long-term due to dissatisfaction.

There's two blokes married with children on this forum who have small penis's. I'm not saying the majority would want us, nor am I saying that only the desperate women would want us. There are plenty of women out there who would want us for a long term committed loving relationship, regardless of size.

If you asked Seinna Miller, would you prefer to marry a drug addicted woman beater who has a big cock, or a fairley average bloke with a small cock, who do you think she would choose.

Trust me there is a lot more than just being a good fuck, to starting, or keeping a long term relationship alive.

Recluse, you say that you cannot have a real relationship with a women, yet I'm not sure if you have even tried. Is this relationship an assumption, something you've been told, or have you expierenced this in a GF/BF situation of your own. Just asking?

Lifeless, I know your intelligent enough, not to truly believe that you can NEVER have the relationship YOU want.

[lifeless existence]

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Edited October 24, 2009 by lifeless existence

[Recluse]

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Edited May 7, 2010 by Recluse

[IrmaJean]

Yes, you can feel secure with yourself. I believe you can. The trick is how to get you to believe it. What I meant by that statement was that it is the secure with self part that is attractive and not that the physical attributes are not attractive.

Just wanted to mention that the amount of noise a woman makes might not necessarily reflect on the amount of pleasure she is feeling. Maybe she is shy and inhibited? I'm very quiet...

And, yes, Nearly Dead, I copy and paste as well for quotations.

Why guilt? It's mutual sharing. It's seems as though you equate it as it's your duty to please. Maybe if you simply allowed yourself to enjoy the experience there would be less pressure and things might go better. Do you think? If you expect that you will fail at something, you probably will.

For women great sex is only part of the relationship thing. And quite often its not as important to them as we think it is.

Yes! This is very true. It's certainly true for me.

Why is her satisfaction the only thing that matters to you? Do you not deserve to enjoy yourself as well? Again, I would say try to focus on the moment and the emotions and pleasure in the moment. Maybe you were trying too hard to perform and please so it took the spontanaeity of the act away.

I'm not offended, BTW, with swearing. I have 3 older brothers and my H swears with the best of them. If it is helpful, then by all means...

Maybe there is something deeper there that has nothing to do with sex.

I know it's different, and don't answer this question if you don't want, but if you knowingly met a woman with my condition, would you think any less of her? Would you see someone like me as sexually deficient? Again, why so hard on yourself?

There has to be some way to break through the black and white and find some gray. There are a lot of possibilites to be found in gray.

Edited October 27, 2009 by IrmaJean

[nearlydead]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nearlydead

Did they not moan with pleasure from being penetrated by your fingers?

Man, I think you just invented the deadly "Small Fingers Syndrome"

Quote:

Originally Posted by nearlydead

Has every woman you have ever slept with broken up with you, or did you break up with them?

Yep, that will kill your confidence stone dead. Have any of these women come right out and said anything about your size, or was it the usual "I really like you but" story?

Quote:

Originally Posted by nearlydead

Have you ever had the "it upsets me that my penis is small" talk with a woman you have had sex with?

.

So you found out you were small really late in life, the vast majority of us find out when we are much younger. ( I was 14/15, then confirmed by my first sexual girlfriend at 16, who then proceeded to tell everyone) That first day finding out your small is a day that we all have to live with for the rest of our lives.

confidence is very attractive to women, thats why they have such a great radar for it. Which is a problem for us small men because confidence or self esteem is something which men like us can only fake, and is easily broken by a careless or thoughtless comment.

The Boxer short moment is where my particular battle is at the moment. I just dont seem to be able to cope with that moment when they first see or touch me, and is also the root cause of my ED. Confidence and self esteem are the true golden roads chaps.

One stratergy is at that moment to announce that you are going the the bathroom to wash your nuts, it makes them think you care:) Then run back into the bedroom screaming and waving your arms as a divertion then dive straight under the bedclothes, buying you valuable time. I hope you and Recluse use this masterpiece on your future conquests.:cool:

Edited October 25, 2009 by nearlydead

[Recluse]

0482489 7982379823723

Edited May 7, 2010 by Recluse

[nearlydead]

Nearlydead, I have never tried to have a relationship so my knowledge is limited to research I have done. At the age I am, I am only interested in dating and getting laid. I may be interested in having a long term relationship when I am older but am not sure that would be possible. I admit though, I have no experience with girlfriends or relationships at all so like I said, all my knowledge comes from research which may or may not be accurate.

FECK ME! Recluse, you really really need to get out there and get a girlfriend and see for yourself, since you are only half small, I am certain you will be surprised at the quality of sex you could have, and deliver to a girl. To sit at your keyboard and tell me that long term relationships are impossible, when you have not even tried for a date n lay relationship is just mental.

check out this link, there are american versions of this too. Theres a fair bit of B/S but there have been documenatarys on this company on the TV, and apparently it works.

http://www.puatraining.com/

[Recluse]

Hey thanks for the link, I'm open to whatever works at this point.

[lifeless existence]

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Edited October 24, 2009 by lifeless existence

[nearlydead]

Lifeless, I'm not saying this to piss you off, but could it be that you actually may be suffering from Dr A shwarts () version of Small Penis Syndrome. ie Its all in your head, and not a phsyical reality at all.

Now stick with me here, as I know my piss would boil if you were asking the same of me. The reasons I ask are:

1. You state that you never found out you were small, untill after you had slept with a 2 or more women. Only measuring yourself afterwards, and comparing yourself to average. Have your peers ever commented negatively on your size in the showers?

2. No woman you have had sex with has ever commented to you, or as far as you know to your friends about your size. COULD this be because the women thought there was no problem to comment on? Could the usual story be true?

No, none of them have come right out and said anything. I just got the usual story. Not sure why they continue to think we actually believe that b.s.

3. You said that a urologist would probably say you are normal. You also said that you were below average, but have never posted your size.

Basically you are an unconfirmed kill. It is you who have decided that your size is small, having confirmed that decission as right from what you have read. I think the sex you have had did not go they way YOU thought it should go, and then looking for answers, have measured your cock, found it to be less than average, and then got into a tunnel vision of who you are.

Has anyone ever said you were small, either erect or flaccid?

Another thing is that throughout your posting on this forum, you have constantly refused to aknowledge that anyones position, regarding size, relationships, expierences etc could be correct. Myself and Irma both think you are seeing things as totally black OR white with no shades of grey, or indulging in all or nothing thinking. Always backing up your position as correct with an example of what you have heard, seen or read somewhere. Could you only be taking on board nothing but bad news?

Then theres the just straight up absurd.

Example: You stated that the women did react positively to you when you were stimulating thier clits with your fingers, but they did not respond at all when you penetrated them with your fingers. That just plain wrong, for the following reason.

I would agree with you if it were just one or two women. Again, none of them made a sound. The chances of every last one of them being shy and inhibited are slim to none.

Example: We're supposed to be big, always ready, have rock-solid erections 100% of the time, last indefinitely, and give our partner multiple orgasms.

If you truly beleive thats want women want, and how men should be, or even thats what the media is portraying then you are just plain wrong.

Example: Absolutely not. Just like my small penis, your condition is something you didn't choose to have happen, have no control over, and cannot change. If I met someone with the same condition, I would give my all in an effort to make sex as enjoyable for her as I possibly could.

Even though you yourself could accept someone else's short commings, problems, imperfections, you insist that no woman can or has enjoyed a sexual relationship with you. That just sounds plain wrong.

Do you see how some of what you say sounds so obviously wrong. If you can accept you may be wrong about some things regarding you size, then you have got something you can improve on, which could actually make you feel a little better about yourself and your situation.

Of course, advice given between us three is pretty much "the blind leading the blind.

[lifeless existence]

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Edited October 24, 2009 by lifeless existence

[Recluse]

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Edited January 8, 2010 by Recluse

[nearlydead]

"I'm under attack by someone who claims to be in the same situation. Why are you so insulted by my being able to back up my position? And then you accuse me of being here just to post "bad news" as you call it. If all that you say is true, how come you don't have a woman in your life, smart guy? Why are you here? I've spilled my guts. I've written a lot of very personal stuff that I'm very uncomfortable having shared, especially now. This forum isn't what I thought it was and I've made a grave mistake in coming here. "

I am in the same situation as you, but my problem is different from yours.

I was trying to get you to test your own beliefs, to see if they are actually as real as you believe, by pointing out that there are many ways to interpret a situation. Which is what myself, Irma and others have tried to do.

There are a whole host of reasons why I dont have a woman in my life at the moment, not least of which is my own issues concerning size. We have all spilt our guts here about a very personal subject, and all feel embarrased for our own reasons. We are here talking, listening, sharing and venting in an effort to better ourselves or find some comfort.

I was not attacking you, but rather challenging you to give yourself a break, which you then take as an attack, and because your anger is never far from your mind, you have reacted by attacking me "Smart guy" "are you gay" etc. The same reaction you have shown others who try to offer you help.

The trouble with anger and voilence is that it is "easy" I also use it as a sort of comfort blanket. But it also blinds you to what is really being said. As illustrated below:

"Could you only be taking on board nothing but bad news?."

"then you accuse me of being here just to post "bad news"

I recognize your anger, and much of your thinking, as I have come to many of the conclusions about womens thoughts, feelings, views, models of behaviour as you. Which I could also back up convincingly, as you do, with facts, figures, anecdotes etc. However, by challenging those very same conclusions, I have managed to remove or lesten some of thier negative effects on myself. Which is what I was hoping you would take on board. Im not cured, I still have loads of my own shit to deal with, but I am now willing to consider other peoples opinions a lot more carefully than I have done in the past, which has led to some progress for myself. I would hope the same for yourself.

Dont let your bad temper, and a few idiots clumsey posts allow you to make a grave mistake by not returning here.

P.S. "Are you gay?"[/i] No I am not, and even if I was, I would not be interested, but I'm flattered. (OK, calm down, JOKE:) )

[Recluse]

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Edited January 8, 2010 by Recluse

[lifeless existence]

1234567890

Edited October 24, 2009 by lifeless existence

[Recluse]

not relevant

Edited November 3, 2009 by Recluse

[IrmaJean]

I think that perhaps what ND has done here with you LE is to try to push you a little in order to find an opening. Sometimes a defensive reaction can mean that something is there to discover. I also think that being in a depressive state can lead to extremely negative thinking, so that is possibly why you are having difficulty seeing things in any other way. Try taking a look at what set you off about ND's words and think about why. Jump outside of the box and look back in at yourself and see what you discover. Anger isn't necessarily a bad thing. So long as everyone stays respectful to one another, that is...Anger is informational in its own way. No one is trying to say that you're wrong. Right or wrong isn't really the point, I don't think. The point is how to feel better. Maybe post more about your anger and where that's coming from.

I still very strongly sense that you are a good person, LE. I think that ND was trying to help you in his own way. I hope that you aren't sorry for posting here.

[lifeless existence]

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Edited October 24, 2009 by lifeless existence

[IrmaJean]

I don't for one second believe that. He's in there.

Get those emotions out. Talk about them.

Edited October 27, 2009 by IrmaJean

[Recluse]

Lifeless, out of curiosity, do you still have friends and a social life at this point or did that deteriorate. I still have friends but choose not to be social very often anymore. I am the only one of the 5 male friends that I have who does not have a girlfriend so that also makes socializing more difficult. I am fortunate in that my friends are usually willing to hang out when I call them.

[lifeless existence]

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Edited October 24, 2009 by lifeless existence

[Recluse]

no longer relevant

Edited October 25, 2009 by Recluse

[Recluse]

no longer relevant

Edited October 25, 2009 by Recluse

[lifeless existence]

1234567890

Edited October 24, 2009 by lifeless existence

[Recluse]

no longer relevant

Edited October 25, 2009 by Recluse