nearlydead Posted October 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 I have some expierence with meditation, using it to slow my heart rate. I did this for a time when through SCUBA I got into Apnea Diving, or breath hold diving. I used to be able to slow my heart rate down quite a bit, enabling me to dive alot deeper on one breath. But what is the "mindfulness" part?I've been posting all day, today. I have thought of nothing else but small penis, small penis all day. I think im driving myself mad to day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recluse Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) no longer relevant Edited November 3, 2009 by Recluse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nearlydead Posted October 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Well, as a forty-something guy who plans to return to the dating scene eventually, I'd like to say my idea of dating is much like Nuckin's, and I tend to aim a little younger than 70. :-)Of course, you don't have to do things that way, but it's not quite as ludicrous as you make it sound. If she asks why you're going slow, you could just say that you want to get to know her better. If she thinks that makes you gay, perhaps the problem is in her perceptions.SHADY PINES RETIREMENT VILLA'S ANNUAL DISCOSaturday Afternoon, May 31st 2009All welcome, especially friskey 40 somethings with that old style magic!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recluse Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Or you can tell her you are gay and ask her to try and change you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeless existence Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) ---------- Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recluse Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) 234234234234 Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeless existence Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) ---------- Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recluse Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) 123423423142344 Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeless existence Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) ---------- Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recluse Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) 2342134234234 Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Yeah, but I was describing what I actually do with women. So, while it's certainly possible that women have spread rumors that I'm gay, it has never caused me any problems. Lots of variables, maybe different size cities or more restricted social groups, but I've never encountered that particular problem. It's difficult to generalize from my one experience, of course: my dating history is hardly typical. I was just saying that there are still guys who go about things that way.And I don't mind people taking the mickey, by the way; I have plenty to spare. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeless existence Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) ---------- Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recluse Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) 23423423421 Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Well, I understand the difficulties of small-town life (or I think I do), but you're also assuming that everyone believes every rumor that ever starts. Surely other men have been falsely accused of being gay, and survived it.See, LE, you made the point elsewhere that it doesn't matter what you believe, but only what your potential partners believe. Yet, the only people who know what they believe is them. Your concept of what they believe has to be filtered through your own prejudice that you're just not good enough, and that's killing you, I know. I just wish I knew how to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeless existence Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) ---------- Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 I have never loved anyone, not even my parents. I think I am incapable. That is so sad, Nearlydead. Why is that you think you are incapable? I feel dead inside.Is there anything that brings you joy? I know I asked about hobbies, but do you take pleasure in things such as listening to music? Maybe indulge yourself in some of those activities?I'm glad that there is more support here today for everyone. I'm not sure I would recommend hiding part of yourself from anyone that you might be dating. Hiding this part of yourself, I would think, would reinforce the ingrained idea that something is wrong. And that is a perception that it would be advantageous to change.Also, Nearlydead, why give so much power to the negative opinion? Doesn't each voice have an equal value...positive or negative? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeless existence Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 (edited) ---------- Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nearlydead Posted October 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 "That is so sad, Nearlydead. Why is that you think you are incapable?"Didn't grow up in that sort of home. I was close to friends, but still got shredded. It is not something I think about, look for, or miss. Girlfriends have said it to me, but I don't understand it or even care. Women can say it, but 6months later they can completely change their minds. I have lived 10 years in complete isolation, I say "thankyou" to the girls in the supermarket checkouts, thats my in the last 10 years. I dont really feel lonely. Prison solitary would be a walk in the park for me.The women who have humiliated me to my face and to my friends helped ruin my life, imagine how much worse that would of been if I had loved them. Its the one thing that I am grateful for."Also, Nearlydead, why give so much power to the negative opinion? Doesn't each voice have an equal value...positive or negative?"The negative opioinion gets shouted the loudest, hurts the most, and gets the most laughs. the negative opinion is the shame and the humiliation. The negative opinion of small size is backed up by facts as discussed.Positive comments on me and my size have less value, because thats not what hurts. Positive is easily dismissed because their is no supporting eveidence that a small penis makes a man more desirable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recluse Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 (edited) 123424234234 Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeless existence Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 (edited) ---------- Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recluse Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 (edited) 242342342341 Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 (edited) That's two days in a row I lost what I typed. Yesterday my computer crashed and today I hit a button and POOF everything was gone. I'm a 2-finger typist...ND, I had to laugh when you wrote about Star Trek and fairy tale romance. Am I really projecting myself on here that much? One of my hobbies is writing romantic fanfiction stories for Star Trek. LOL. Tries again...The negative opioinion gets shouted the loudest, hurts the most, and gets the most laughs. the negative opinion is the shame and the humiliation.Your mind seems to focus on the negative. There must be some way to turn the volume down...an exercise perhaps...so that you will allow the positive to also have a voice in this. I wonder if having grown up feeling unloved might be playing a part in this. I know you say you don't feel as if you've missed anything...but sometimes when emotions are too painful to bear we can disassociate from them as a means of self-protection. I think maybe you have been doing this a lot in order to survive. I'm just speculating, of course. I'm just a cashier...I'm very sorry that women have treated you poorly in the past. I personally would not put much weight in the opinions of those who treat others in this way. If she's being mean to you, she is likely mean to others. It doesn't reflect on you so much as it does her.Positive comments on me and my size have less value, because thats not what hurts.So you want to inflict pain upon yourself in this way? Do you feel that you deserve this type of punishment? I'm curious about how you felt when women told you they loved you. Did it feel good to hear this? Or did it make you afraid? Ambivalent?LE, it sounds as if you are have difficulty relaxing. I can relate! When this happens to me, I have scenic DVDs that I watch. Maybe not your thing, though. Does your mind run a lot? I have some obsessive tendencies as well as my anxieties, so it is sometimes difficult to settle my mind down enough to sleep.Hobbies are limited then? I think anything that gets the endorphins going right now might be advantageous. When I was feeling depressed, I'd try to focus on pretty things. Write a poem or something. I suppose that's girl stuff, though, huh? What about exercise then? A walk outside? A jog? I had a list of things at one time. Maybe I can find it.I 100% agree that isolation is not good. People need to connect with others. Maybe try getting out in some way or at least put yourself around people and give yourself the chance.LE, once before I asked you if you would accept someone with my flaws and you said yes. (I knew you would) I can't help wondering, though, if I deserve understanding and acceptance and gentle care, why not offer some of that to yourself?Recluse, do you ever get out with your friends anymore? Edited October 28, 2009 by IrmaJean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nearlydead Posted October 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 "ND, I had to laugh when you wrote about Star Trek and fairy tale romance. Am I really projecting myself on here that much? One of my hobbies is writing romantic fanfiction stories for Star Trek. LOL."Hi Irma, this explain's everything!"Your mind seems to focus on the negative. There must be some way to turn the volume down...an exercise perhaps...so that you will allow the positive to also have a voice in this."As usual Irma, you are bang on with your observations. All of us have to shift our focus from the negative to the positive. We need one of the pro's to explain "an excercise" that we can practice. I read David burns book about CBT. The book is based on 10 types of twisted thinking. black and white thinking, discounting the positive, etc. All this helps with thoughts, but when your thoughts are backed up with reality it tends to fall down abit.Basically how do I give more wieght to positive small penis thoughts, which have very little evidence as being true, V,s the negative thoughts that are generated from proven sources, and by greater numbers of women.Its because of this, I equate any "cure of the mind" with the story of "The Empore's New Coat" Emperor goes out to meet the people wearing his invisible new coat (his new found confidence in his penis) only to meet a woman you then tells him he is just a naked fool. Who are we really kidding here?Anyway this is my last post today, my Dielithium Crystals are worn down, leading to a Short in my conduit. Live long and Prosper Irma:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 (edited) Hi Nearlydead,Please beam us aboard once you find your new supply of crystals.Is there a way we could get to read your fiction? I know I would enjoy it.Allan Edited October 28, 2009 by ASchwartz additonal comment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeless existence Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 (edited) ---------- Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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