lifeless existence Posted October 30, 2009 Report Share Posted October 30, 2009 (edited) ---------- Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recluse Posted October 30, 2009 Report Share Posted October 30, 2009 (edited) 3245345345235 Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted October 30, 2009 Report Share Posted October 30, 2009 Therapy is one way; there are others.It's a learning process, that's all, and you don't quit learning at any point in your life.Well, unless you refuse to. ;-)Believe me, the vast majority of people here are recovering from one kind of developmental loss or another. We're affected in all sorts of ways, but the ray of hope for all of us is that we can learn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeless existence Posted October 30, 2009 Report Share Posted October 30, 2009 (edited) ---------- Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recluse Posted October 30, 2009 Report Share Posted October 30, 2009 yeah, I meant the emotional maturity part as well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recluse Posted October 30, 2009 Report Share Posted October 30, 2009 having my issue has prevented me from maturing the same way others my age have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeless existence Posted October 30, 2009 Report Share Posted October 30, 2009 (edited) ---------- Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeless existence Posted October 30, 2009 Report Share Posted October 30, 2009 (edited) ---------- Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted October 31, 2009 Report Share Posted October 31, 2009 Years of intensive therapy that I can't afford (unemployed and uninsured). Not to mention that I don't want to live with the pain of loneliness throughout the years of therapy it would take to fix it so that someone would accept me. What are the other options? Anything quick? I've reached the end of my rope. Maybe what you need to believe is that you're acceptable just as you are. And you are acceptable...just as you are. You're in a difficult place emotionally right now and there are also some aspects about yourself that you'd like to work on, but these things do not make you unworthy of acceptance...they make you human.That's why the rest of society considers us all to be abnormal. It's not okay to have these kinds of problems. It's not desirable. That's why so many of us are alone.LE, I don't think any of us here consider you or anyone on this particular board to be "abnormal". Everyone has difficulties. Everyone has traits that might be perceived as undesirable. But loving someone is about loving the whole person. Anyone who sets out to find "the perfect mate", a person who posesses all of the most desirable traits in their eyes, will likely be searching for a very long time. At the end of the day, real and enduring love is a love in which partners understand and recognize one another. And that means accepting "imperfections" as well. Once you feel in your heart that you are worthy of such love and acceptance, you will invite it from others. You project on the outside what you believe on the inside. You have to be open to believing in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robyn Posted October 31, 2009 Report Share Posted October 31, 2009 I think they do understand that everone has flaws. The point they make, and this echoes my familys experience, is that some flaws are worse than others. Mainstream society suggests height, wealth and size are integral to your 'coolness' or 'worth'. Having a lisp, a bald patch or big ears, although not desirable, are rarely 'deal breakers'.What I would like to convey is that there are women who dont describe to this 'mainstream' mode of thinking and can be versatile and understanding. Because they are a minority their voices get drowned out so ND, LE and others quite logically distrust the idea of their existance. So its up to us to shout that bit louder! If others had done this in the past my own family would have had half the battles they have had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted October 31, 2009 Report Share Posted October 31, 2009 (edited) I was talking in general about the acceptance of flaws. I would never even consider any particular genital size as a flaw. I would consider it part of the person and something that should be valued as such.Mainstream society suggests height, wealth and size are integral to your 'coolness' or 'worth'. I've never cared too much for what mainstream society deems as acceptable...as far as "coolness" or "worth" goes. I remember one time when a friend told me that I should wear makeup because that was what "society expected" of me. I told her that I didn't want to be the person that society expected me to be...I wanted to be me. I think when you believe in who you are and you value yourself as the person that you are,societies' "suggestions" about appearance and such no longer define you or have so much power in the choices you make. Edited October 31, 2009 by IrmaJean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeless existence Posted October 31, 2009 Report Share Posted October 31, 2009 (edited) ---------- Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted October 31, 2009 Report Share Posted October 31, 2009 It only takes one...if she is the right one for you. But, again, you won't find her if you give up on yourself.It helps to do something which makes one feel useful. Maybe volunteering like we talked about before? You have to get out there and try or things won't improve. I hope that you are still willing to try. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeless existence Posted October 31, 2009 Report Share Posted October 31, 2009 (edited) ---------- Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted October 31, 2009 Report Share Posted October 31, 2009 There's always a place to try. You just have to keep looking and you'll find it. Maybe you'll surprise yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted December 1, 2009 Report Share Posted December 1, 2009 Hi Nearlydead,I applaud you for using David Burns Feeling Good Handbook. It is true that using CBT on your own without psychotherapy can present challenges. That is why I suggest you try psychotherapy with a psychologist trained in CBT. Actually, I really think any type of psychotherapy with a really good and well trained psychotherapist will be helpful to you.Very fixed ideas are very resistant to change and that is why you did not find the handbook helpful. But, do not give up. In this case you are better off speaking to and working with a professional.Allan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted December 10, 2009 Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 I was just wondering how all of you are doing? If any of you are still around? Nearlydead? Recluse? Lifeless? Brokenman? iwish6? Vinwalt? Robyn, how is your brother feeling? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recluse Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 (edited) 34532523534534 Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeless existence Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 (edited) ---------- Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recluse Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 What Lifeless said about sums it up. I'm sure I will vent here in the future but I have it out of my system for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 I'm glad to hear that you are keeping it together, Recluse. It's great that you were able to make connections on here. LE, I know you are feeling very down. I'm very sorry about that. I hope you get the right help this time around and can find your way out of this horrible depressive state you've been in for way too long.It's good to hear from both of you. I hope things improve for you very soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Hi Lifelessexistence and all others here,Lifelessexistence, here is your comment:This is a hopeless situation. We're small, most women are disappointed with us, and it can't be fixed. I want to repeat what others have said here. What they have said is that all that matters is having one woman who loves you and is satisfied with her sex life with you.Not all women are the same. Not all women value the same thing. All you need is one woman who experiences you as big enough for her. She is out there. Despite what you think and despite your past experiences, that one woman is out there. You need to regain a sense of being hopeful.Allan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nearlydead Posted December 15, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2009 Hi all,I still log in once in a while, hoping that someone has posted a miracle cure.My rotten little maggot is causing me even more problems, resulting in me having to have my penis circumsized. I can have the operation performed on the day, and then be released from hospital the same day. However they require that I have a friend or family member available to release me from the hospital. Being a total recluse I have absolutely no one I can call on. The embarrisment of explaining that to the doctor was excruitating. He could not understand how I can know no one, family, friend, neighbour, workmate. So at the age of 45 this poxy maggot is still causing me more grief than ever. I have to go into hospital, have nurses and doctors poke about looking at this thing, knowing I'm small and explain to more people face to face why I know no one, and for what, I still end up with a useless little cock, except uglier.I curse the day I was born with this thing, hopefully I will die on the table, but I know I'm not that lucky. You guys in the US are so lucky to have access to guns. One clic and all this shit stops. The only true cure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted December 15, 2009 Report Share Posted December 15, 2009 ND, you're hurting yourself again. I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through this and felt embarrassed. I get the sense that you may be taking the discomfort of those feelings out on yourself. What aspects about yourself do you like?I hope the procedure goes well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recluse Posted December 15, 2009 Report Share Posted December 15, 2009 (edited) 23453453452345 Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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