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possible split personality? Help!


nora_neko
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Hello!

This is my first post, I'm hoping that someone will be able to help me figure out if my thoughts are the sign of something that needs to be addressedas to me, the way my mind works is obviously what i have always known!

Basically, i am increasingly more aware that the part of me that makes decisions and makes me act in a certain way seems to be working on it's own, as if i have no control over my personality and conscience. I always say my brain has a mind of its own (excuse the expression) and I frequently feel anxious that I may do something which I either did not consciously decide to do, or would normally go against my morals etc. I dont trust my own mind and i feel like i'm teetering on the edge of quite literally losing a grip on my sanity.

Over the past few months I have become more and more selfish and have less and less regard for other people and their feelings. I'm very flippant, and when something bad happens to me, i tend to get over it extremely quickly with a sort of 'oh well it's happened now, nothing i can do' sort of attitude. I always think of the consequences of my actions, but i feel almost indifferent to what will happen. I know that this is a trait shown by killers and psychopaths, and I've always felt from the age of about 15 that my mind is so instable that i could easily just snap one day and I may do something like this. I dont feel as though people are plotting against me or anything, I just dont care about them and dont feel remorse for anything i do.

I'm not a horrible person, I'm very selfless in my everyday actions, I love my family, have big respect for my friends and am very bubbly, outgoing and would describe myself as very happy. However my mood can go from happy to indifferent very quickly.

I also find that I enjoy losing control, either through drinking or drugs, crime, devious behaviour and getting fights. I like to do things without boundaries or limits, and the consequences are plain to see but i just...well, dont care i suppose. I have a full time job, pay all my bills, live in a house with my little cat who i love and have a normal social life....i just seem to be losing any kind of compassion for people. However, this is not all of the time, as most of the time I do feel for people and have good morals.

What kind of thing do you think this shows signs of, as I couldnt really find anything online? Hope someone has a suggestion!

Thanks :(

xxx

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