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Hi forgeting, if you are having troubles expressing yourself to another person, how about writing a letter? You don't necessarily have to send it or let someone read it, just put your problems and thoughts in writing. That way, later on, you can go back to read your letter to see if there is anything you need to do or you can laugh at how bad things seemed at the time and toss it.

You mention that you are failing at everything and I don't believe that kind of thinking is helping you. I know it doesn't help me much to think of myself as failing. When I think of myself as a failure I actually feel a whole world worse so it's best not to think so negatively about yourself. If you find these negative thoughts difficult to ignore then I suggest you focus on performing an action or activity. David Allen calls this "intelligent dumbing down".

In Stumbling on Happiness, by Daniel Gilbert, it's argued that negative thoughts arise because our brains are constantly trying to anticipate the future in order to control our future experiences. Negative or scary thoughts - made by either ourselves or those around us - are tools to encourage more proactive, "beneficial" behaviour. So, it's natural to think negatively, but sometimes these thoughts can get out of hand and bring us a good deal of misery.

Should you decide to share your problems with your doctor, the essential point is that the consequences of doing so may not be as awful as they seem right now.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Kaudio and Forgeting,

Kaudio, I liked what you wrote to Forgeting. Thanks.

Forgeting, here is a quote from you:

I thought to talk to my pdoc again but I am so nervous to try and open up about this. I feel like it will make everything SO much worse. I don't want worse, I don't think I can handle worse or really much else. I don't know how to talk about feelings and thoughts that are embarassing to say I'd rather not talk about it at all, but I think I can't handle it alone either.

In my experience over many years as a therapist and as a person, I have found that even when we fear that talking about it will make things worse, once we summon up the courage to open up to the therapist and talk it feels like a great relief and feels much better. In my opinion, when we keep things hidden out of embarassment and fear they become much bigger than they are. Once we bring out into the fresh light of day, it becomes very small.


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  • 4 weeks later...

You feel you have it really bad right now and your really stressing about it.

I have it a lot worse but I recovered. When I was stressed or anxious I would have both panic attacks and extreme pain but I am better now.

If your feeling really stressed out do what I told more then one person who has anxiety or stress problems. Meditate.

What you do is sit down breath in through the nose and out the mouth. One that worked well with me was Good and Bad energy. When you meditate imagine the air your breathing in through your nose as white representing good energy. when you exhale through the mouth imagine it as black representing negative energy and put all your focus on it.

In addition to meditation another thing you can just fit into your day is classical music. Don't listen to hard rock-Heavy metal. classical is constructive for the brain it helps with stress.

Lastly you should get into something like martial arts like karate, Kung fu, and Tai quin do. I don't recommend Tai chi to people with anxiety disorders but if all your having is stress I think tai chi would be very good for you.

You should really do all of these. The first one calms you when your in a bad state of mind. The second one soothes and helps the brain. And the last one is a good way to get rid of stress and the most effective way.

I recommend this to everyone who has stress to anxiety disorders it's very affective I hope you try it and I hope it helps.

One more thing when it comes to talking to a therapist don't worry about it. They are calm and patient also if you have trouble explaining something about yourself they kinda help you finish what your trying to explain they help you along. Also if you have some sort of religion get a therapist of the same religion. I'm Christian and I got a Christian therapist since we shared the same views things went a lot smoother.

That is all I hope I helped you.:D

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