wasting my youth

[lifeless existence]

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Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence

[IrmaJean]

I do very much worry about stirring stuff when no one here is seeing a therapist, but at the same time stirring stuff hopefully moves something.

I am very concerned about you, Lifeless. You have nothing to offer because you...at this time...are simply unable to be kind to yourself. And that is really quite heartbreaking. I'd be willing to bet if another came to this board sounding just as you have here, you would offer him support, encouragement and suggestions. I really wish we could understand why you feel you're not worthy of such kindness.

I was contemplating earlier today about something which I've heard Nearlydead mention on more than one occassion. He has spoken of being just one beat away from crashing. How one whispered voice in a crowd would scream to him if its words were negative. I think perhaps this true to some extent with all of us. All of us have self-doubts and we can find ourselves creeping back into old patterns quite easily. Life is a battle on some level and we must always struggle with our own inner demons to stay in the light.

Come out here with us in the light, LE. None of us are perfect. You're so very hard on yourself. It's okay to be flawed. It doesn't mean you're unworthy of acceptance and love. You are worthy of those things as much as any of us are. Time that has passed can't be retrieved, but the future can hold hope...if you don't give up. Fight for what you want. There could be a woman out there waiting for you too. But life won't come to you. You have to go out there and make it what you want. I know I've probably said all of that before, but I know you're in there...

Have you reconsidered finding another therapist?

How is everyone else on here feeling?

Edited November 15, 2009 by IrmaJean

[nearlydead]

Life is a battle, it is not meant to be fun or happy. If man was always having fun and being happy, then we would never progress, strived to be better. I think thats why all the major religons promise paradise after death. Its just bull to keep the peasants alive and working.

Me and Lifeless are in pretty much the same position, we are at the lowest level of function,, we sleep, eat, and spend the rest of the time torturing ourselves.

I think we both know that we are the only ones who can truly help ourselves, which is in itself a cause for more pain, because who would want to rely on us for help, being as we are so shit at everything we touch.

Our penis's are small, a cause of shame. fear, ridicule etc. we cannot physically change that. Inorder to even begin to get our lives to a point of the average loser will require a minimum 6 months to lose weight, to be fit to fuck, or work, then we also would have to do voluntary work/training for some low pay/status job, then if we get a job we would have to work it for a minimum 2 years, then have to answer the questions, why have we no friends, why have we never lived with a woman, why have we no kids, why have we no career. I reckon thats a minimum of 2 years hard graft, torment, further loneleness before we even get to a point where we are fit to date. That is then when the work really begins, because when we get to that point we are still the mugs with the little dicks, and have to BELIEVE that we will get a woman who wont make mugs of us, or in Lifeless's case who will love him. And for what? can anybody on this site say they are happy? if so why are they here?

I identify most with Lifeless on this forum because I recognise the anger, pain and dispondancy in his writing, I have exactly the same thoughts. The only difference is I have had 13 years more suffering than him. I also have had some positive epeirences with women, which when I'm thinking rationaly give me some glimmer of a positive note.

When thinking postively, I can see actions that I could take to improve my situation, I could sort my sleep patterns, I could lose wieght, I could go to the doctor, I could go and try for a job, I could blah blah. But it is really a leap in to the dark that I have made before using mass effort and Im still here living the life of a mug, and I still dont have the balls to kill myself. Sometimes my logical side says concentrate on getting your head around suicide, because no matter what the religous say, it is the only garanteed way to end all this crap. The one advantage that suicide has.

The truth is, for all my talk of suicide, it is really just a fantasy world of escape. Thinking of an existence where all this shit is void, is about as good as it gets.

The reality is if Im not going to kill myself then I (and you Lifeless) have to move forward, and that means making a start, even though we dont believe there will be any benefit, only years of more shit, just different shit. Which means making small minute changes and building from there. I know this quote is not right, but I think it is the only possible route to self improvement for deformed poeple like us.

"I will change the things I can, and accept the things I cannot"

Which in my current state of mind translates as.....

"You're gonna have to work hard again, and lifes still gonna be shit"

[IrmaJean]

can anybody on this site say they are happy? if so why are they here?

I don't know if you mean this particular area in the forum or not, but I am very content with life right now. I still fight the self-doubts, but I feel strong and happy. I'm here because I feel very powerfully from deep within that I want to help others in some way...or at least try. I want to be proactive in creating a world with more kindness.

"I will change the things I can, and accept the things I cannot"

You're a smart guy, ND. I hope that you and Lifeless can continue to offer one another support.

[Recluse]

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Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse

[iwish6]

irmajean. im in the same boat as you. i constantly think of my size throughout the day but i continue to fight it and continue to strive for a better mental life since i know i cannot change the physical. the pain that is going thru me causes me to be depressed and i feel like i am not the same. at times i have boosts of energy. this energy spawns from positive thinking and reminding myself of the love b/w me and my gf. i hope that i will get better (fully have no worry of my size) that is my true goal. and of course knowing that i can please my gf during intercourse. all iknow is that i can easily slip into a greater depression if i let it.

yet i cannot imagine the pain and suffering that the rest of you are going through (LE, NE, Recluse). i believe that i am no where near the level you guys are at. i have a loving family, girlfriend, friends, and im still young. i have time to change myself and the way i think about myself. im sure therapy could help but im preety sure their gunna say the same thing were saying. i dont think ill see a therapist. id rather talk to you guys over a vid chat or phone or something since we can relate to each other. if i was ever as down as you guys i might think up of new ways tofind happiness. to find the beauty and love in life. there is no substitute for the joy/love that a relationship and family can bring but there is indeed other beauty out there that can make you happy. travel. hitchhike. become a wanderer. buy a camera and take pictures of the beauty in the world. learn to live off the land. work when you can. support yourself and only yourself since a lot of you feel like you cannot even find another to support for. sleep in places youve never slept before. meet new people. make new friends along the way. listen to there life story. a homeless person? the land will be your home. never being restricted to the tensions of life and society. imagine that... no restrictions. you do what you want. it is so easy to get caught up in society and miss the simple pleasures all around us.

this is where i currently stand and the thoughts going through my head.

[maverick]

I'm in a similar situation to many of you guys. With me it's got nothing to do with my penis size, because I'm actually over 6 inches long with an average girth. My issue is the fact I have some asperger's traits, I also probably carry an auristic gene, my brother and mother does, which means I probably do. This means, if I have children there's a very strong chance they will be autistic or mildly autistic. For this reason I've decided not to have children, which rules out being with any women also.

I don't have sex because I'm too aloof, and I never liked my face.

So don't all assume that it's all a bed of roses for someone with an average or big penis. I think first and foremost women like a guy who can hold down a job and be responsible.

[Recluse]

345785785435

Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse

[iwish6]

im sure everyone thinks differently in our situation. some people are simply more depressed than others. before whenever i thought about it the more depressed i got. but for some reason the more i think about the fact how someone wouldnt date me just bc the size of my shlong now seems ludicrous. of course everyone wants great sex...thats a natural fact. im not sure wether ill be any good in bed but fuck im sure as hell a great guy out of bed. we all deserve better. we deserve to be treated better. we all have to believe and realize that...esp for most of the guys on this forum. i am a great guy. i deserve better. change the things that you can. you control the happiness in your life and how you look at things. people may laugh and say i have a small penis...well shit i do haha. ill laugh right back and tell them "now tell me something idk mutha fucka."

"Not being able to meet ones needs obviously will cause psychological distress and that is the burden I have to carry" - RECLUSE

definitely Recluse! we as humans want to be loved. everyone wants to to be accepted. its natural human nature to think this way. im not sure if ill be any good with the penetration business than a larger guy. and this teriffies me. not being able to meet my loved ones needs...esp sexaully since society is so focused on this. but hey what can i do about it except try my best. take me as i am. my body isnt going to change anytime soon.

this is how i currently feel about the situation and i hope it only gets better

[Recluse]

50873489573465

Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse

[lacyjay87]

I'm in a similar situation to many of you guys. With me it's got nothing to do with my penis size, because I'm actually over 6 inches long with an average girth. My issue is the fact I have some asperger's traits, I also probably carry an auristic gene, my brother and mother does, which means I probably do. This means, if I have children there's a very strong chance they will be autistic or mildly autistic. For this reason I've decided not to have children, which rules out being with any women also.

I don't have sex because I'm too aloof, and I never liked my face.

So don't all assume that it's all a bed of roses for someone with an average or big penis. I think first and foremost women like a guy who can hold down a job and be responsible.

we desier conversation and intamacy (not jus sex) having a job and holding it is a bonus!!!! we love men who can take care of themselfs!

[tock.is.clicking]

Hey, Welcome. I have the same girth measurements as you and it has ruined my life at 26. A 4 inch length is on the small side but it is within normal range. Girth is what is important to a woman, what both of us are lacking. I too am very good looking and women like my personality and find me attractive. This is a curse because I know that they would ridicule me to my face or behind my back once it came down to sex, so I no longer go out and do things if women are going to be there. I wish I could give you some more positive advice but since I was 14 I have heard girls and women say bad things about small dicks.

I also have trouble with erections due to the fear about my girth and its inadequacy. It's one thing to be below average in length because it is harder to tell exact lengths but if one is below average in girth it is obvious to the woman on first sight. I have had sex 4 times in my life with a hooker and that is it and I am 26 years old. I have kissed a girl once in my life at 21. A higher percentage of things I have read from internet research say that size matters to most women. These days, women consider average to be small. When women say size does not matter, they are referring to average size and girth.

Mines 8 inches (measure length from the tip to base top penis at pelvis?)

I can assure you it is not the only thing females see in guys.

I've had shit all luck in finding relationships (plenty of girlfriends no meaningful relationship)

and am still a virgin (my viginity more related to symbolism and choice -- what a stupid idea that was)

Women like confidence and I am definitely not confident anymore so don't date much lately

If you are content and accept yourself for who you are then women will have reason to accept you too. Give them something to appreciate.

your overplaying the size card. there is a whole desk of cards

Yes many women are scummy, irrational, condescending and selfish,

especially those that you get i a club

but in life good people (the type of person we want to meet) take the good cards with the bad cards.

Focus on highlighting your positive cards, dress well, interesting life experiences, humorous stories, hobby skills.

When you find a good woman she will miss you and throw the bad cards out of the deck afterall everyone has bad cards in their decks.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Recluse, Lacyjay and Tock,

Recluse, what is your reaction to what Tock and Lacy have said about what is most important in a man? And, please don't say that "they do not understand because they don't have the problem." People have empathy and that means that they do not have to have the problem in order to understand and even have empathic feelings.

One more thing, Recluse, isn't it possible that you are putting too much emphasis on over hearing what some dumb women said behind the backs of men? After all, I have heard the types of "locker room" comments men make behind the backs of women.

By the way, I believe we do understand but we want soooo much to help.

What are you thoughts?

Allan

[Recluse]

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Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse