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Worries about pedophilia


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  • 2 weeks later...

You have my permission to feel good about yourself again, Terrified.

Why are you having trouble giving yourself permission?

Seriously, it's more important for you to find out why you're worrying so much. That's more important than what you're worrying about, now.

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Hi Terrified,

I think it was Montaigne who once stated:

My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.

Terrified, in our office we see hundreds of teens every year. While most have severe emotional and behavioral disorders, some do also go thru what you're going through. One thing that stands out to me is that many have what is called a "fluid sexuality" in which because of their age, they don't know whether they're straight or gay or bisexual, or whether wearing the sister's clothes is OK, or any other of a host of sexual concerns. They come in with terrible anxieties and feeling dirty, misplaced, confused, filled with self loathing at times and generally lost. Many will experiment repeatedly until they find what suits them-- and this can take a few years or until they're into their early 20's.

Given that executive function (reasoning abilities) in humans doesn't fully develop until they're around 25, it seems a bit too early to be branding yourself, especially if you haven't acted on your sexual fantasies (and I would not recommend that you do). This is one reason the legal system struggles with teens who commit adult crimes-- the argument is always about their executive function and age.

Good luck and I hope this helps,


Edited by David O
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Hey thankyou David, that post made me feel much better. Just wondering, does trying to mb to a memory (can't remember if I finished or not) not count as acting out?

Not acting out means that you don't engage in sex with a preteen or someone 5 years younger than you (this is the clinical definition). Clinically speaking, to mb to an image of a teen at your age does not constitute in my mind, an issue.

Edited by David O
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Instead of conducting all these tests you should research your fear. I have it too, it can be quite common actually amongst sufferers of OCD. Here is are some links for you to read.



Really, just go for a psych eval and get some meds and therapy. You are not a pedophile and neither am I. We should really stop making ourselves miserable over this. Just stop testing and this other stuff and read up and go to a doctor.

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