Worries about pedophilia

[TerrifiedUser]

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[TerrifiedUser]

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[David O]

We got your back!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TerrifiedUser]

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[David O]

Haha, great picture, that certainly made me smile, thanks. The exercies did help, I do strangely feel better now, knowing I can contain these thoughts better than expected. Stay with it, no matter what. The next thing is to write in surrounding your issue (obsessing and worrying altogether and not just about CP) only at the specified time. So, let's say that your worry period is from 5-6PM daily, then you can write in to the forum the last 15 minutes and tell us how it went. If you write in at other times, do so to help others. I've seen your response to others and it is solid, compassionate and understanding.

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Again thanks// Aaaaaaaaaaaaand you're welcome! Now go have a fantastic weekend!

Edited January 9, 2010 by David O

[TerrifiedUser]

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[TerrifiedUser]

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[David O]

Terrified,

Why do I like your spunk so much. Looks like I'm gonna have to come over with a Pitt Bull from one of my friends and just have it near your keyboard. Your job will be to feed it, walk it, discuss your concerns with it for 60 minutes daily, and walk it again when it gets restless or wants to type:eek:.

I can tell you're gonna be a trouble maker now,

David

[TerrifiedUser]

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[TerrifiedUser]

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[TerrifiedUser]

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[TerrifiedUser]

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Edited July 11, 2013 by TerrifiedUser

[malign]

Define "okay", Terrified.

None of us can be certain of anything. Most of us don't spend every waking moment worrying about it. What I'm saying is, the quality of the way you worry seems excessive enough that it's worth addressing as a separate issue.

I really feel like your self-help work on the anxiety isn't really doing the job. Can you find someone to talk to about it, please?

[TerrifiedUser]

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[malign]

This is my point: I don't know whether the police might come knocking at my door some day, about something. {It happened to me: my wife filed a protective order to get me out of our house; I had the pleasure of discussing this with three police officers at 5:30 a.m. one morning.}

The point is, if it happens, you're innocent. So what's to worry? They're just doing a job, and you're not a criminal, so you're not their concern.

[TerrifiedUser]

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Edited July 11, 2013 by TerrifiedUser

[TerrifiedUser]

I was wondering malign, what are your opinions on the matter now?

[malign]

Well, if they searched your computers last time and didn't find anything, then it's not that you "thought" you were innocent, you were. It's unfortunate that they shook you up with their investigation, but if they didn't even make any charges, you must've been pretty darn clean.

So no, Terrified, my opinions haven't changed. Get help for the anxiety. Let the other thing take a backseat. I'm not telling you to "stop worrying"; I know that won't work. I'm just saying, if after treatment for anxiety, you still think you have a problem with the porn, address it then.

[TerrifiedUser]

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[TerrifiedUser]

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[malign]

You can't have pedophilic thoughts, you're 17! :-)

And no one cares what you might have thought, once.

It's what you do, now, that counts.

Forgiving yourself for stuff you never even did would be a good place to start.

And getting help for the anxiety so you don't keep manufacturing stuff to worry about.

[David O]

Good morning Terrified,

Glad to hear from you.

I have one quick, brief and very pushy/aggressive question: Why are you on here, on the forum on this topic, today, yesterday, the day before and the day before and the day before???? Porque chico! PORQUE!!??

Drawing others into your ruminations keeps them alive, thriving and active-- you must keep doing them at the allotted time, daily. If I was your therapist, I would be yelling at you by now (with love and compassion of course).

Terrified, I wrote this on another post and thought it relevant here:

The most basic insight and one that likely affects 75-90% of those who I see and probably many of us who write into the forum is just this (and all of its’ cold reality):

Most unwanted behavior occurs because we, in part, want it to occur and put ourselves in situations where it is hard to avoid or don’t make the complete effort to remove ourselves from the settings that trigger it:eek:. The would-be dieter has more than 1200 calories of food on hand;); the smoker trying to quit has a whole pack on him/her instead of just 5 cigarettes; the recovering alcoholic has hidden the booze in the closet in his own bedroom or in the basement in an old crate; the gambling addict whose tried to quit 15 times keeps a role of quarters or dollar bills socked away somewhere in his car;… the list is endless.

Most people struggle with this idea and so they create arguments and all sorts of private logic, mental gymnastics and cognitive/emotional distortions to not have to face it-- but it is a hard truth I've had to face and one that most of those who are or have been in therapy have also had to confront, but usually in less harsh terms.

Compassionately and with much annoyance and humor,

David

Edited January 22, 2010 by David O

[TerrifiedUser]

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[TerrifiedUser]

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[shye1]

Hey dude. Just wanted to say I understand what you're going through. Anxiety is tough. At your age I had bad anxiety about a few different things. I found once I got over one anxiety, I'd find a new one to obsess over fairly quickly. I see that pattern in you. Try to keep tabs on that.

You got to learn how to get a hold of your thoughts sometimes. If you can't settle your mind, change your scenery. Get up and go for a walk. Shake it off.

You've been through some pretty hard things in your life so far. It doesn't surprise me that you're feeling like this. Maybe talk to a Dr about anxiety and even OCD. It seems like you have it. I have it a little, well maybe more than a little. My best friend has it big time and has taken meds to get her life back on track.

You said you're very creative. What is it you like to create? I guarantee you if you invested as much energy and thought into your art as you do your fears, you'd create something amazing. I imagine it would be very healing for you. Thats the blessing and the curse of OCD. On one hand you're wildly imaginative and inventive and on the other hand, well, you're wildly imaginative and inventive.