TerrifiedUser Posted January 31, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 g Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David O Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 Hi Terrified,I remember when you began this thread and now, >100 posts later (in comparison to most threads this is large) and many, many responses later that try to allay your fears, you seem to still be struggling, so I thought to suggest something... go to a pay phone and call the police and tell them what you've done. Ask them how serious of a crime this is and what would happen to you if you got caught following this one incident. Talk to 2-3 cops just to be sure you have a sampling of what they consider criminal behavior.So many people have suffered greatly from so many problem, most of which never happened!Good luck and write back to let us know how this goes.David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerrifiedUser Posted January 31, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 g Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David O Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 This is why you call from a payphone somewhere away from your place, that reduces your need to build up the confidence and also gives you complete anonymity. make it a bref call-- maybe less than 3 minutes. Give them a short 30 second version of your worry and ask for a brief answer as to how much of what you did is cause for alarm.Just also know that they may try to play a prank on you, to scare the hijeebees out of you and tell you it's so severe that they're coming to get you right now, this is why you call several police departments. If you truly want to avoid any possibility of you getting on the wrong website, buy an XXX video (used may be cheaper) and just pull it out and put it on your computer, now you have no trace (your main concern) and it serves as a way to meet your mb needs w/o placing you on sites where the temptation to see inappropriate materials is there.Keep in mind terrified, something I said much earlier, you can't want to not get on sites (out of fear) that are inappropriate and yet go on sites that draw you in. It's like wanting to quit smoking but carrying a pack anyway-- just in case!Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerrifiedUser Posted January 31, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 g Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David O Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 Terrified.... make the call or I'm buying a pit bull :eek: to stand by you while you make it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shye1 Posted February 2, 2010 Report Share Posted February 2, 2010 Hey Terrified. Yeah theres a chance you don't have OCD. It could be some sort of general anxiety. It's just the obsessive worrying about something, going over and over and over it in your mind, that I can relate to. Whether you call it OCD or not, doesn't really matter. You remind me of myself and my friend, especially the self-doubting. Like not remembering if you were attracted to someone. My friend used to ask me to look at her washing machine and tell her that it was spinning because she couldn't tell, or she'd see it and then doubt that she saw it 5 minutes later. Then after it stopped, she'd doubt that she even turned it on. Sometimes she'd wash the clothes again. It's funny now that I think back on it. I just want you to know that you will get through this. You're young and your brain is still developing. But I can tell that you're a cool guy. You just have some things about you that are different and that can be hard to accept at first. One day you'll appreciate these things about yourself. I hope you put it in your art. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David O Posted February 5, 2010 Report Share Posted February 5, 2010 Hi Terrified... did you follow thru and call the police? Let us know what they said and your reaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerrifiedUser Posted February 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2010 g Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shye1 Posted February 7, 2010 Report Share Posted February 7, 2010 (edited) Thats ok man. I'm curious as to whether the last stint where the cops came and confiscated your stuff has had a really traumatic effect on you (understandable) or does it run deeper than that? Are you punishing yourself for being sexual? Instead of enjoying some visuals on the internet and being happy and satisfied, it seems to evoke a fear that you've done something wrong and you'll be punished. Why is that? Cuz from the outside looking in, it really doesn't seem like you are doing anything wrong, I just wonder why you think you are. Is it guilt? Couldn't you find websites that are "safe" from cp and stick to those? What do your friends do? It sounds like a good idea to speak to the cops so they can help put your mind at ease, confront the fear. Edited February 7, 2010 by shye1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerrifiedUser Posted February 11, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 g Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David O Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 (edited) Good morning Terrified,I was wondering about how far you had gone in implementing others' recommendations?Calling the police anonymouslyDiscussing with your family physician the possibility that he/she would prescribe an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor). Some SSRI's are extremely effective for OCD and anxiety disorders. Specifically, Celexa, Luvox, and Paxil. Anafranil (Clomipramine) has also been very effective because it combines the SSRI effect with a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor effect. But Anafranil also has more side-effect issues. There is also evidence that OCD responds fairly well to Effexor XR. At doses of 150 to 225mg Effexor has the benefits of Anafranil without all the extra side-effects.......Buy the book Brain Lock (available at Amazon.com or half.com used) and using it in conjuction with the SSRI's mentioned above. I prefer that people listen to the tape because the author not only tells you what to do he shows you how to talk to yourself. A lot of patients don’t get an adequate response to an SSRI or Effexor XR even after 12 or more weeks and even doing the Brainlock techniques. Often adding Clonazepam (also available as Klonopin wafers-quicker acting sublingual) or Abilify usually low dose of 2.5mg (or other atypicals) can help get symptoms under control. Sometimes stimulants help because they increase your control of what you focus on. Doing the exercise consistently for 3-5 weeks as suggested 3-4 weeks agoTerrified, let me be honest-- we can't really help you here if you don't do your part/homework. Writing and having others write back only postpones the a need for a real solution--- and maintains the problem. Once again, I ask you to do as suggested by so many of us and then return to the forum to tell us how it's going-- in 2 weeks. My intent is not to sound harsh and cruel, it is out of a very gentle compassion and sensitivity to your suffering that requires such a strong and honest response. Others have also asked you to do this, so please do implement the suggestions. This will be my last response to you until you return after having implemented some or all of the plan, and my hope is that others will also stop responding to your posts so that you will be compelled to follow through on what is best for you and why you came here. I hope to hear from you in several days and to hear what changes you've made. With much kindness and compassion,David Edited February 12, 2010 by David O Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerrifiedUser Posted February 13, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 g Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schillaci Posted February 15, 2010 Report Share Posted February 15, 2010 Hi Terrified,Quite some thread to read in one go, I can tell you that! There are a lot of things I could say. You see, I lived through the paranoia that comes with sexual issues as well. But I'm unsure whether it would help you, or whether you'd even want to be helped by me. The issue stuck with me, so I understand I might not be the person you want to identify with right now. Still, if you want to talk to a "veteran", I'll be right here. In the thread or through PM.Much love,Schillaci Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted February 15, 2010 Report Share Posted February 15, 2010 Hi Terrified,When it comes to pornography and the Internet, you cannot be sure of anything. That is why its best to keep away from the porno. That's my opinion.Allan:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerrifiedUser Posted February 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 (edited) g Edited July 11, 2013 by TerrifiedUser Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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ThePetPerson Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 OK, I have not read the entire thread so excuse me if someone has already posted this. Do you enjoy the fact that it was possibly a child? Did you, at the time, think that you liked the fact that they may have been underage? Or did you just not care? Maybe you hadnt thought of age at the time? I personally do not think you are a peadophile. Of course, some peadophiles are disgusted with their behaviour but cant get over the pleasure of children. There is probably a definition of a peadophile somewhere but I dont think you can label someone through a textbook definition, you have to think about individual cases, no one is the same. I dont really have any suggestions about how to tell the police but remain anonymous. My only thought was to explain (without to much detail) to a child protection agency and they will be able to pass on the message Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerrifiedUser Posted March 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 g Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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