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Dark thoughts


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I've had dark thoughts lately like causing pain for enjoyment, seeing blood flowing down the walls, killing people just because I don't like them. I want to get rid of them pretty much. I've done meditation which gave me great control and wisdom but the thoughts are still present and the anger and malice is still there. I really don't like the thoughts because of my religion Christianity. I know its not that bad thinking about these things unless I couldn't control it and I can But I hate seeing myself as this animal and I don't want to lose control of this animal inside of me because I'm more dangerous than the average joe. Simply I can control myself and suppress my thoughts but I need some advice on getting rid of them.

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Brute force suppression of thoughts doesn't much work. The problem is that when you tell yourself to not think about something, you are engaged in thinking about that thing in order to not think about it, and thus you are reinforcing that thing and making it stronger. So don't try to just suppress the thoughts.

Distraction is helpful. Moving your attention and mindset entirely away from that which is troubling to you by changing your environment, or the task at hand that absorbs you into it. I like to bake things when I'm upset. Cookies mostly, but sometimes bread or cake. I get my own aggression out in the kneeding, which is physical work. And there is enough to do that I am focused on the recipe and less on my thoughts. and then I get to eat whatever it is at the end of the process and that helps too. Anything you like doing that grabs your attention and requires some concentration will work.

Anger is never really free floating - it usually has a target or an object. Something or someone that you are angry at. Can you share a little bit about what you're angry about? The reason I ask is because while it is difficult to just change anger feelings directly, sometimes if you understand where the feelings are coming from (what situations have generated them), you can do things to alter that source and the anger lessens becuase it isn't being produced anymore as much.

for instance, if you are angry at your parents for abandoning you (just to pick a common example out of a hat), you might try your hand at being a big brother/big sister to some child who has similarly lost their parent(s), and through that interaction, help yourself to be less angry by way of redeeming the loss for someone else. Doing good intentionally can be healing.


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