Does depression ever just go away?

[Kalima]

If you dont analyse depressing thoughts and 'challenge' them or try to fix them but just do things that avoid you thinking about them will the depression go away, or will it bite you in the butt at a later date?

[Kalima]

In general my depression seems to be less significant. Well kinda. Yesterday I had a bad spot and I still do from time to time find it difficult to focus on anything. I've been numb before and it's kind of a love hate thing. I hate it, not feeling anything but empty. But on the otherhand at least I dont feel so much pain. I'm in a weird place at the moment. I'm supposed to be noting down my 'direct' thoughts, the negative ones. I really don't like doing it, feels stupid, seeing it on paper, but well, i will do anything to to try and move past this weirdness. and thats what I have decided I'm dealing with now. I'm not happy, I'm not sad, I'm not indifferent. I just am. I laugh and cry but all my emotions seem to be less intense. I'm not sure how good or bad it is that I've managed to cut off from my feelings a bit, probally neither. but the less I think about things that make me feel sad, the more time I do things that avoid me having time to dwell on sad thoughts the more numb i'm feeling, but then again the less depressed. this is kinda a ramble but seeing as no ones listeniong 's okay. LOL. (have tones of work to do but no time to do it and now, now I cant focus. so being at work is a waste of time. Sorry)

[nightfalls]

Hi Kalima

I think that I go though some similar feelings, some times I wonder "am I still depressed" I really don't know. I think things go so bad that I went sort of numb and then turned it all off for a long time. I had some treatment but mostly I had given up trying to feel better or happy. I guess I just went through it and now I feel some things , I don't feel some things. I still have negative thoughts but I'm not really in the same dark place I was at 2 years ago. Mind you 2 years was lost to this numbness. Mabe things I've read and talked and done have finally all added up to help me ???? or I'm still on a fragile line, I feel both. Sometimes I feel stronger when I feel numb things don't upset me or scare me the same way. When I feel like life is good I am scared of everything and fear that the darkness will take over again, that something will break apart my reality and I will loose it all. So weird to feel better when depressed:confused: ok now I'm confusing myself.

To answer your original question, I think the depression will come back and bite us if we don't work on it. I think we need to challenge our thoughts to change the way that we think and process things. I don't think on other levels that the numbness is a good thing but when overwhelmed by our emotions it certainly feels better in the moment. Ok now I'm rambling.. take care...

Edited July 9, 2008 by nightfalls

[ray114]

Hi Kalima,

I personally struggled with depression for a 3-4 years and in my case, it did go away (for now at least). But ignoring the problem will not make it go away. This is really good that you are on here talking about it and I think discussing your feelings is very healthy. You should check out www.livingthetruth.com It is an online community where you can open up and get or in other cases give advice to other individuals in the same boat as you. I really hope to see you there. -Ray

[Natalie]

Hi Kalima-

I think what you may also struggle with is determining "what is normal" in terms of feelings. There is no black and white answer to that question. However, I always reminded my therapy clients (especially ones that were dealing with depression and anxiety) that people who don't have depression or anxiety or another type of mood disorder often have ups and downs in mood (just not as severe or not disabling), as well as periods of time where they are simply trudging along in what I call a "neutral mood." Is that "numbness"? I don't know. On one level, probably. Is it unhealthy? Probably not. More likely, it is a state where their brains are simply more focused on thinking, working, planning, and getting daily stuff done, and less focused on feelings.

So, I wonder if that's what you are experiencing on some level, to some degree. I am not you, so I certainly can't say. But, sometimes, what's scary about getting better from a mood disorder where you have experienced such intense and crippling emotions (that preoccupy much of your time) that it seems really weird to shift to a neutral state, as well as deal with the ups and downs that everyone experiences.

I am certainly not discounting your message, however. True numbness that lasts all of the time and interferes with your daily life (mental health professionals call it "blunted") isn't what you want either. That's the reason many people engage in risky behaviors (to feel an endorphin rush), use substances, or self-injure.

What do you think?

[Kalima]

I've been numb before, usually for fairly short periods of time thankfully because it was not a feeling I relished and as you said it sometimes lead to actions I regret.

Perhaps it's just a general neutral mood. (Yay! normality) and sometimes I do feel absolutly fine, but most of the time when I feel.. (the best way to put it) Blah. I almost dont care, I say almost because I will get home of an evening and say to myself 'my god this place is discusting I need to tidy up' and then I wont do anything. Probally I'm just lazy and procrastinating but seriously I would never have let my home get into the state it is now before. My list of things I need to do is growing. And some days I will be in the mood to actually fully tackle things but mostly I feel like things just happen around me and I'm watching, think I should do something but failing to do it.

anyways I have to go.

[Mark]

Kalima,

Depression can be quite variable in its nature. Some people get depressed once, go through a difficult few weeks and then it remits and they feel better again, and that's it - they don't go through it again. Other people follow a relapsing-remitting pattern, where they go through periodic periods of depression, which are really deep, followed by either periods of recovery to a "normal" state (whatever that is ) or a less intense depression. There is the so called "double depression" where you have a chronic condition called dysthmia which is a sort of 'depression-lite' that gives you a bad mood for most days over the course of several years, but isn't disabling, and then superimposed on top of that, you get a full on depression. And of course, we could also talk about bipolar depression and its variants where depression feelings go hand in hand with manic feelings.

So the answer is that yes, for some people depression just goes away, but for others, no it doesn't. Not much help, huh? But that's the way it is, to the best of my knowledge. It is the case that if you've had several periods of relapsing remitting depression, you are very likely to get more. The more time you spend depressed, the more likely you are to remain that way, more or less.

[xaq75]

Hi Kalima,

Your post makes a lot of sense to me because of what you wrote about the dullened emotions seeming distant and opaque. I call it emotional exhaustion, going through years of an angry depression with great big viscious teeth can really take it out of ya. Then nothing. No happiness or contentment. No anger or motivation to accomplish anything. Just a feint indifference with a touch of sadness, topped with a slightly spicy frustration ... and a dead fly in with the sprinkles of hope.

I like to think that the more experience we get with the ups and downs of depression (or downs and deeper-downs depending on how severe it is) the more aware we can be of it and eventually 'grow' around it or out of it.

[herbaltea]

Kalima,

Depression can be quite variable in its nature. Some people get depressed once, go through a difficult few weeks and then it remits and they feel better again, and that's it - they don't go through it again. Other people follow a relapsing-remitting pattern, where they go through periodic periods of depression, which are really deep, followed by either periods of recovery to a "normal" state (whatever that is ) or a less intense depression. There is the so called "double depression" where you have a chronic condition called dysthmia which is a sort of 'depression-lite' that gives you a bad mood for most days over the course of several years, but isn't disabling, and then superimposed on top of that, you get a full on depression. And of course, we could also talk about bipolar depression and its variants where depression feelings go hand in hand with manic feelings.

So the answer is that yes, for some people depression just goes away, but for others, no it doesn't. Not much help, huh? But that's the way it is, to the best of my knowledge. It is the case that if you've had several periods of relapsing remitting depression, you are very likely to get more. The more time you spend depressed, the more likely you are to remain that way, more or less.

I was really discouraged to read this post, because now I feel like the depression I have got (again) will not go away. Is that what you are saying? I have had about 3 relapses of depression and this time my confidence has taken real tumble of ever coming through it. What do you mean when you say the more time you spend depressed, the more likely you are to remain that way? I don't get what this means?

[Philosopher]

I was really discouraged to read this post, because now I feel like the depression I have got (again) will not go away. Is that what you are saying? I have had about 3 relapses of depression and this time my confidence has taken real tumble of ever coming through it. What do you mean when you say the more time you spend depressed, the more likely you are to remain that way? I don't get what this means?

Hi herbaltea. I know what you mean - it's a pretty bleak outlook from what Mark is describing. I am in a situation similar to yours, at least in some respects. I've been dealing with biological unipolar depression for 17 years now (I'm 34); been on a half-dozen or so different medications; gone through a few therapists; and had 4 previous breakdowns (that is, points at which the depression was so bad that I could not function on any normal level). I'm about waist-deep into my 5th right now, hoping I can trudge through without getting sucked under again.

I would be interested in hearing more from Mark about the underlying basis of his statement. Is it more biological or psychological (or both?) I mean, in my case, it has seemed that after certain periods of time the antidepressants that I was on just didn't do the job anymore. So I could see that there might be some biological variable in the mix that simply kicks in from time to time. On the other hand, when you deal with depressive thoughts and symptoms on a daily basis, they tend to become ingrained, so I would think there would be at least some psychological underpinning to the recurrence. My guess is that both play a factor, but I haven't done the research to back me up.

On the bright side, in either case there are strategies that you can use to help you get through the rough times and minimize, as much as possible, their effect. Depending on your current situation, some might be more appropriate than others. For example, if you have a chemical imbalance that requires some anti-depressant medication (or a change to your current medication if you are already on some), that will be one of the first things to address (the standard rule of thumb is to allow 3 months to gauge the effectiveness of antidepressants, with at least monthly check-ins with the prescriber). Meanwhile, therapy can help you identify underlying issues that trigger or exasperate the depression and depressive episodes; it can also provide techniques and strategies for dealing with negative thoughts and feelings.

I encourage you to hang in there. There are lots of us struggling right along with you. I'll be thinking of you and hoping that your find the strength each day to keep on going. That's exactly what I have to do myself.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi herbaltea and Philosopher,

herbaltea, welcome to our community. I think you will find lots of warm acceptance here.

Philosopher and herbaltea, I suspect you are misinterpreting what Mark wrote. Mark, I hope it's OK that I am clarifying.

Depression is not hopeless, not at all. Not only is there medication to help with it but Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is excellent. In fact, there are people who get better just by using CBT without medication. In fact, I would go so far as to say that today, more than ever in history, there is every reason to feel optimistic about depression, if you are one of the suffers, and to expect that, with treatment, you will be just fine. :)

Allan

Edited July 28, 2008 by ASchwartz
my name

[Natalie]

Hi-

I'd like to add something too about depression "going away."

I have seen lots of people in my clinical practice who wish and wait for depression to simply go away (like strep throat). However, for many, depression is like having diabetes or arthritis. It is something that can be controlled and lived with, and you can still have great quality of life; however, you must be vigilant and diligent about sticking to the treatment plan (being generally healthy, practicing cognitive behavioral techniques, sticking to meds as prescribed, if that's relevant). In other words, maintaining an active orientation and doing something about the depression; is better than a passive orientation, and waiting for it to go away, or things to get better on their own.

[serenitynow]

I'd like to ask a question that really confuses me. What if you know you are depressed and have anxiety, and your thoughts take over your whole being, but as this is going on, you also know they are irrational? I have such strong negative feelings and know they are not justifiable or realistic, yet they have a strong power over my being. If I heard the comments coming out of someone else's mind, the ones that replay in MY mind, I would immediately put things into perspective realistically. So, I know my thoughts are debilitating to my existence, but I can't seem to shut them off and replace them with peaceful and positive thoughts. Is it just a matter of practicing? What's the secret?

Thanks.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Serenitynow,

You ask a great question. Knowing that your thoughts are irrational when you are depressed is half the battle. It means that you have self awareness and no one has to convince you that you are thinking irrationally.

The best way to approach those irrational thoughts is using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. There are many books and work manuals in the book stores on how to modify those types of thoughts.

However, if you find that you still cannot replace those thoughts then it is time to see a Psychologist whose speciality is using CBT.

CBT is found to be very helpful with replacing those irrational types of thoughts with those that are based on reality. There are times when the self help approach just does not work and we need the help of a professional to guide us through the process.

Now, if CBT help only a small bit, and that can happen sometimes, then it could be time to try a combination of anti depressant medication along with CBT.

I hope this helps. Do others have suggestions?

Can you tell us more about these types of thoughts you have??

Allan

[serenitynow]

Well, my thoughts are filled with dread for things that might be, such as death of loved ones, or the fear of everyone leaving me so I am totally alone in the world. Some of my thoughts involve intense fear of things that WILL happen as they are part of life, but I lack the proper coping skills to deal with them. I am spending all my present time fearing the future and wishing to turn back the clock. My issues are more about acceptance. My thoughts are irrational because they consume me and exhaust all my energy so I can't focus on the here and now. I have let fear of the unknown control me and I am fully aware of its power and that it is NOT real living.

[Mark]

I'm very sorry if my post led people to feel more hopeless; that was not my intention, and that was not the message I was trying to convey. I was asked a question about the course of depression and I answered it, but importantly, I answered it without adding in the prognosis for people who seek treatment vs. people who don't seek treatment, and I also didn't talk about the numbers of people who spontaneously get better vs. those who don't. So let's do that now.

First of all - everything I wrote about depression in my above post referred to untreated depression. Here is a quote passage from DSM that talks about the numbers:

... (from DSM-IV-TR page 372) The number of prior (depressive) episodes predicts the liklihood of developing a subsequent Major Depressive Episode. At least 60% of individuals with Major Depressive Disorder, single episode, can be expected to have a second episode. Individuals who have had two episodes have a 70% chance of having a third, and individuals who have had three episodes have a 90% chance of having a fourth. About 5-10% of individuals with Major Depressive Disorder, Single Episode subsequently develop a Manic Episode (i.e., develop Bipolar I Disorder).

Major Depressive Episodes may end completely (in about two-thirds of cases), or only partially or not at all (in about one-third of cases). For individuals who have only partial remission, there is a greater likelihood of developing additional episodes and of continuing the pattern of partial interepisode recovery ...

So - more or less - the longer you stay depressed, the worse the outcome tends to be.

This is without treatment. If you get appropriate treatment, you can expect in most cases to experience a significant lessening of symptoms if not a full remission of your depression.

Thinking habits (e.g., a pessamistic tendency) play into depression vulnerability as do biological temperament factors. medication and biological treatments can be very effective, but medication at least tends to have a short lasting effect - it's only good so long as you keep taking it. when you stop taking it - people tend to revert (if they are fundamentally depressively vulnerable). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which helps you learn to identify and alter bad thinking habits that contribute to depressive vulnerability are very useful in helping people to remain non-depressed after they complete therapy.

This is not to say that depression is purely a product of thinking habits, or that it is purely a biological thing. It is a combination of both things that cause depression.

Hope this helps. Please feel free to ask further questions. You can read all about depression in our depression topic center, by the way

[Tvjunky3]

I don't think depression goes away really. I have suffered through it my whole life. I am only a teenager. I just learn to deal with it. I have been happy, after a while i get depressed again. I have friends who have had depression, that i can talk to because they know what it is like. My roomates are all really happy people, so when i am down they don't really understand what i'm going through. I have learned just to hide my feelings, and pretend to be happy, it has worked for years.

[xenophon]

Sometimes, depession is brought on by real events. In a sense, the feelings and thoughts are not irrational. The intensity may be debilitating. It was that way with me. Whem my father & first wife passed away within one year.

CBT helped me late in the process.

[lonleyangel]

hi don't know if this will help you or not but i asked my doctor the same question and she told me i have a cronic mental illness and it will never go away

[Mark]

that's a pessamistic spin on the situation, lonelyangel. It's more like you may have a chronic vulnerability condition that will never go away. that is not the same thing as being doomed to feeling depressed your entire life. Think about it like it was diabetes. With the proper lifestyle/diet/exercise/etc. many (not all) cases of diabetes can be managed, and in some cases, the condition can be managed so well that it does not significantly create life impairment. But the underlying condition doesn't necessarily go away.

and let me clarify that. Many depressions do go away and are not necessarilyi based on an underlying vulnerability. It is the more chronic repeating forms of depression that are more useful to think of as a chronic disorder that can be managed rather than something that can go away permanently. But I think this is a hopeful message; not a bleak one. What I'm saying is that even when the condition is chronic and serious, there are still effective things that can be done to manage it and keep it controlled.

[poetdowns]

There are different types of Depression, just as there are different types of Heart Disease. So there's different methods of treatment.

And some people get better and others don't. Or in more precise terms, some people find a way to make their Depression manageable, others aren't so lucky.

I've been depressed and suicidal ever since i was 15. For me it never goes away. So i'd have to disagree with Mark; also, 10% of those diagnosed with Unipolar Depression are treatment-resistant, (yay, me) we don't respond to meds, we don't respond to anything, and we are in fact, doomed.

That's not me, that's just reality -and sometimes reality isn't pretty.

anon,

Poet

[Mark]

Poet,

You're quite correct that some people develop a treatment-resistant depression. When all reasonable medication combinations are exhausted and psychotherapy has not proven terribly helpful either, generally the path of treatment escalation is to move towards stimulation therapies, such as electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), and very recently, vagus nerve stimulation (VNS) therapy and transcranial magnetic stimulation (TCMS) therapy. ECT has a negative reputation and it is certainly not a walk in the park, but it is remarkably effective in reducing very chronic forms of depression. It can be the difference between suicide and life in some cases. The other therapies mentioned here have less of a track record, but they have been FDA approved at least (a dubious distinction but not one entirely empty of promise). VNS involves a pacemaker-like surgery. TCMS is entirely non-invasive and promises to revolutionize the field if it works half as well as ECT. Have you looked into any of these sorts of therapies? All of these would be available only from a medical doctor psychiatrist sort of person.

Mark

[poetdowns]

If you dont analyse depressing thoughts and 'challenge' them or try to fix them but just do things that avoid you thinking about them will the depression go away, or will it bite you in the butt at a later date?

Generally, feelings that you ignore are like being chased by a dog; as long as you're running it keeps chasing you. You have to turn and confront it to make it go away.

The basic point of therapy, is to provide a safe place where you can integrate lost or denied feelings into your life.

Poet

[poetdowns]

Salut Mark,

In fact i am familiar with all of those treatment-procedures. I have a love of knowledge of learning new things, my sense of curiosity is big as all outdoors, and i'm a dogged researcher. Which = if i have an affliction i have to deal with, -like migraines- i find out everything there is to know and i keep abreast of current/new info in that field.

anon,

Poet

[Mark]

That's good that you're up on all this. Not everyone is. ECT is a very frightening prospect for many people. I'm encouraged to know that some of these less invasive forms of therapy are being developed today.