amberlyn Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Notmary, Something that I have to remind myself sometimes is to never give up. Giving up is letting the abuser win! The purpose behind whatever he/she did was to make you feel powerless ... and if you still feel powerless today, then he/she is still winning. I hope that you can find something to put your mind at ease, someone you can talk to, just anything to help you get through this. I'll be online if you would like to PM me about anything ... even if you just need a distraction. Take care of yourself. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notmary Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 I feel like he did win. I am nothing now no matter what I do or accomplish I am damaged. I did talk to my therapist but I froze. I can't seem to help myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted February 13, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 This is what trauma is like, for sure notmary:(. It feels this way right now, and it feels so hurtful and damaging and stuck. Does your therapist help you at all? Are there things you like to do notmary? We can support you here in venturing out a bit into your you, finding positive things for you to live for. Right now your ground feels swept out from under you, but with help, you can find other ground to stand on. Each person has amazing potential if they can find access to it. The rest of you is still there and waiting... it's just hard for you to get to it right now.I'm so sorry you hurt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notmary Posted February 13, 2010 Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 Thank you for your response. I know that I sound whiny and it is annoying that I keep carrying on. I want to move... forward to being a good person or backwards to being the fake me... I hate where I am right now. I am on a vacation from teaching for a week. I am hoping that a quieter less stressful week my give me a bit of peace, although sometimes the lack of structure sends me tailspinning even more. My therapist has been a safe place for me where I am very very slowly finding my voice and trying to find me. she speaks of the need to take care of the little girl who was brutally raped. I hope that this is possible because right now I am disgusted by her. As for what I like to do... I don't remember. I enjoy being with my husband, children and friends but lately it seems so hard to find any peace with any of these people. I am too on edge. I love to read if I can stay focused, love the outdoors, but am too cold and sad lately to be outside... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted February 13, 2010 Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 Hi notmary,You do not sound whiny, your feeling very hurt at the moment, and thats understandable. Im sorry things are difficult for you right now, but you are trying to move forward and thats what counts, what matters. Maybe now that you have a week off from your work, you could find time to have a day to yourself, to just relax, and treat yourself to something nice that you enjoy.I hope that things get a little easier for o soon.We are here hun, and we do care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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